I’m convinced that it’s all about respect, that disrespect
is at the core of 99% of all anger, including war.
I used to natter at myself about being more loving…until one
day I realized I did not know what that meant. Be nicer? Be more
complimentary? Smile more? None of those fit. So I decided as a start I
could try to feel some respect toward people in general.
Looking back I can see various turning points in my life
where I started the process of growing up…by putting forth some respect.
One of those times, some 25 years ago, I was the office
manager of a small publishing office. And I got no respect. And I gave no
respect. One reporter, in particular, gave me grief on a daily basis, which, of
course, means I gave him grief, etc. Tit-for-tat, an eye-for-an-eye all the
way.
Every day I would go home with variations on one thought
circling in my mind…”He treats me like I’m a gofer,” “He thinks I’m a gofer,”
“He acts like I’m a gofer.”
This went on and on and on, until one day the single thought
came to me…what’s so bad about being a gofer? Gofer is just another word for
“server” which I’d been praying to become. (I, however, was praying to become a
Server of The People…big difference.)
So the next day, as I’m on my way to Xerox a page, I walked
by the reporter, and there laying on the corner of his desk was a sheet of
paper with a little yellow sticky in the corner with “2 X” written on it.
Before I could think it over, I asked, “May I Xerox this for
you?”
Looking stunned, or more like, highly suspicious, he simply
nodded, and I made the copies for him.
Long/short, that broke the ugly.
We became friends, and when I had a major operation a couple
years later, he came to visit and with his wife brought me a covered
dish. And when we both moved on to other offices, he and I hugged, laughed
and cried together.
Being the first to show respect when I’m feeling
disrespected may be the only time I don’t want to be first. Such a simple
act…such incredible rewards.
Thank you.
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