EYES ON THE PRIZE...A PEACED MIND

I said to the Lord, I’m going to hold steady on to you, and I know you will see me through. —Harriet Tubman, "Scenes in the Life of Harriet Tubman" 

That is akin to what I said to the Lord just yesterday...thank You.

I can't help but wonder just how dementia became epidemical in the last few months. Dementia! Dementia which, in general, was rarely mentioned until recently. 

There are mind-healers advertised up the gump stump, and they never before had a piece of the pie...again, until recently.   

Or is this just me...my now concern with my own mind that has sharpened my awareness...opened my mind to the rapidly expanding word about dementia...or, more to the point, the rapidly expanding word about cures and meds for dementia. The ads are legion...I have not studied them carefully, but a quick scan tells me none promise full cure, only a tish above a 50 percent cure. 

It is clear to me that my mind has taken a downturn. I plan to stay as calm as I am capable without self-driving, ever reminding me that God can and will if sought. I will take the four-hour test next week, take whatever the doctor prescribes, keep my eye on the prize, God, and pray for a peaced mind.

I wish I could have a dog.

Thank you.

GOD CALLING! LOVE IT AND LAUGH

Being raised from the deadened weight of fear to love. Perhaps that’s what is meant by resurrection. -- Author Diana Butler Bass, "Fr Richard Rohr's Daily Meditation," April 28, 2026

For some time now, I have practiced embracing the deadened weight of fear...anxiety being my first (and lasting) fear. Anxiety attacks were my personal stalkers. Since they seemed to be ever with me, I was given the gift of acceptance...I learned to love and laugh thus not resist fear.

I am not church people, but from my own personal experience, I became a believer. I came to believe that still more spiritual growth is the answer to the dailies of life. 

The main path? Whatever comes, love it and laugh; and there it is: God's secret handshake.

It seems there will always be something that comes that is truly unacceptable to our human eye. I have found that to be God's greatest gift to us...we have no choice but to go to God for God.

That dreaded feeling of being unloved, unneeded, unwanted, and unappreciated? God calling! Love it and laugh.

Thank you.

THE GRACE OF GRATITUDE

The storm rages on. But if you want to know how to walk through a storm? Keep your eyes on the prize. -- the Rt. Rev. Michael Curry

Lord, hear my prayer: Thank You.

My fear of dementia is for me to walk through (or with) today. With fear, without fear, we walk through that which we perceive as before us.

Blinding flash of the obvious: My perception is the storm...the grace of gratitude, the prize.

Thank you.

OUR WORST FEAR IS GOD'S GIFT

Fr. Richard Rohr writes, ...spiritual knowledge is more like retrieving than discovering.

Every time I read that statement, I get an ah-ha feeling...like I just got new information that is going to open a hidden spiritual reserve.

I am reminded that what we are retrieving is the gold, that we retrieve what we already have. Being unaware contains the spiritual invitation to be awakened repeatedly...each time at a deeper level. Whether we consciously know it or not.

I ponder that Fr Richard's spiritual knowledge is more like retrieving than discovering, and I feel hope anew...hope that what I already have is what I already have, i.e., our worst fear is our best gift.

We are opened to the inner truth: Our worst fear is God's gift...embrace it and be peaced.

Thank you.

NOTHING TURNS ME TO GOD FASTER THAN FEAR

Fear can keep us from hearing what is really being said. Mary’s spirituality is focused on trusting....She just says, 'I trust you, God. Do with me what you will. Let it be.' -- Fr Richard Rohr, "Daily Meditation," April 26, 2026

I want to remember that...spirituality focused on trusting. I want to gratefully remember that until I live it without thought. 

Being human, likely I can remember it with a tish of fear, but then, that's my gig. It is with God's blessing that I know nothing turns me to God faster than fear, so I don't resist fear, I let it be and find my comfort there.

That was my blinding flash of the obvious many years ago. I was oh so comforted when I got it then, and it still washes over me in the peace that passes understanding.

God is so good to me...God is so good.

Thank you.

SIMPLE PRESENCE...THY WILL, THY WAY

This spirituality....almost entirely depends on our capacity for simple presence. -- Fr Richard Rohr, "Daily Meditation," April 23, 2026

I felt betrayed recently and big time. Before our noon meeting, I asked a friend, who had previously announced his dementia, if I could talk with him about my fear of possible dementia to which he agreed.

After the meeting while most everyone was still there mingling, my friend announced, for all to hear,  "Stacey's got to deal with her Alzheimer's."  I just smiled, like "what a joker" and nothing further was said. 

For me to remember: That is not the important personal part. That part is for me to follow Friend 2's openness about her dementia...but on my timetable. The announcement felt like a betrayal just an hour after I first mentioned my "fear of possible dementia" to him. 

That is what I need to detach from...detach my resentful thinking by welcoming a higher interpretation to dwell on, i.e., God's will, God's way.  Remembering all the while that my "betrayer" is not bad, not even a "betrayer," he's just not the right confidant for me. 

There...I've got my inside work cut out for me. God loves me us so much.

Thy will, not mine, be done.

Thank you. 

FEAR...LOVE IT TO LET IT BE

Today, fear of dementia is sneaking into my thinking. 

I remind me to love it and laugh...if love and laugh are, as I believe, life's best answer whatever the problem, then dementia, too, can be met there.

Love and laughter will not cancel it, heal it, stop it...it simply will not determine my daily me. I can and do have another incurable disease which I meet daily with God and grace, love and laughter. Dementia, too, can be met there.

Also, my friend Bob may have a mean streak which I experienced recently in the form of a cheap shot he delivered to me before several of our friends.

Ah, it is fear, of course. I need to seek to change me, my gossipy reaction, not Bob...my want to rat him out to others.

Love that and let it perc. Personally, my feet are not there yet...my head has it but that is a far cry from walking it. 

Please and thank You, 

Thank you.

NEW ORDERS ...A CHANGE IS GONNA COME

Everything visible, without exception, is the outpouring of God.....go forward on this inward migration toward sovereignty of mind. -- "Richard Rohr Daily Meditation," April 19, 2026

Whoa!...go forward on this inward migration toward sovereignty of mind.

To go forward inwardly is a stretch...for me anyway. By a stretch I mean I need to stop right there...stop and ponder that until it explains itself to me. It reads so pretty that we feel invited to believe we agree or even know what we're agreeing with.

The first half of that quote, from Everything visible to outpouring of God I get, agree with, and if I stopped there, it would not enter my thinking again.

Ah, but the last half of that, go forward on this inward migration, etc.. causes me pause...a long pause. I suspect toward sovereignty of mind is my Full Stop. When. and/or how, did sovereignty of mind become a goal?

I've been living for, working toward, thinking of, turning my will and my life, i.e., my thinking, over to the care of God...to be a follower of God's will, God's way. Going toward sovereignty of mind is going to require...ah-ha!...is going to require that I change my mind. Reminder to me: That I change my mind has been my meditative goal for a long time now.

Well. I make no rash self-promises, but I suspect and hope I have just received my new marching orders, Or, not new...just newly clarified.

God loves me so much...us...loves us so much. And I am grateful.

Thank you.

DEEP HEALING IS OF GOD

Both the Christian religion and the American psyche need deep healing, and I do not say that lightly.  -- Fr Richard Rohr, "Daily Meditations," March 24, 2026

Today I know, and I know I know, and I finally and freely admit that I am in need of deep healing, and I do not say that lightly.

It is dementia I fear...loss of my reasoning mind...and it seems I am forgetting more each day. I note I particularly say it seems, etc., and I thank You.

From my own experience, I know that fear can and will do our thinking, feeling, doing for us whether we realize it or not. I remind myself of that fact a lot these days. If or when the fear of dementia takes over, it is that fear not dementia itself, that does our thinking for us. 

There is the truth about fear itself...when fear takes over, fear does our thinking for us...does our thinking, feeling, doing, being for us. 

I have long held that humans have two primary emotions from which all feelings are birthed...namely, love or fear. Love is harder to hold onto than fear...probably because God is love, not ours to hold onto but to live...fear is on its own which is scary in its own right...there is no God in fear. 

God is walking me through my personal way of dealing with a "what if"...think it through, repeatedly; when I am ready, God can and will lead me free. Then, if wrong, promptly admit it. Apologize to God for thinking I got ahead of him and go for it again. 

All the while loving and laughing...my new-found inner peace tools, and I thank You.

Dementia, shake hands with God...now you can get in line behind...God's got the wheel.

Thank you.

OUR NEMESIS AND AN UNSELFED LIFE. I

[The following is a reprint of my post of April 30, 2017.]

I've been contemplating nemesis and my belief that we all have our own. I equate nemesis with undeserved suffering...kinda like it is our cross to bear.

I tend to believe our acceptance of it comes with the realization that it became ours by our own unknowing choice before conception...maybe as an act of solidarity with all the pain of our chosen people.

I compare my "unknowing choice," to the line from an old novelty song (a favorite of mine): When they were passing out noses, I thought they said roses, and I said, 'I'll have a big red one.'

Having learned who I am and what I'm all about, that makes sense to me...it is neither logical nor believable that I would choose suffering purely for the benefit of others. I mean, it's comforting having Jesus as a role model, I just don't want to have to do as he did; i.e., suffer for others.

I'm guessing the key to our nemesis is the acceptance of it, resistance and all, and to welcome it as it comes to us. Why do I say I'm guessing that? That's the key to an unselfed life...which, after all, is our spiritual goal.

Thank you.

ON MATURE SPIRITUAL GROWTH, I

[The following is a reprint of my post of May 30, 2016.]

The ego gets what it wants with words. The soul finds what it needs in silence. -- Fr. Richard Rohr

There it is: The essence of our reasoning mind's resistance to powerlessness. Our ego's path out is through our reasoning mind; our soul has no path...in its transparence, it flows freely, cannot be cornered or captured...it is. It simply is.

We often hear that mature spiritual growth is all about detaching. Letting go of our self-perceived needs...embracing our self-perceived lack. When we are no longer talking that but are, in fact and without thought, doing that...we will know mature spiritual growth. And heading in the right direction counts.

Thank you.

ON SEEKING ANSWERS OF MY OWN SELF

The journey to sovereignty of mind requires an inward migration, where we in a sense become refugees from our external nation, culture, economy, and civilization, even though we still live within its borders. We withdraw inwardly. -- Alexis Wright, an Aboriginal writer from Australia

I have found myself being led (fed?) by a self-demanding search within.

I started following the feeling of demand, and faster than I realized that it was happening, I found myself seeking, questioning, demanding answers of my own self.

No, it does not make sense...reasoning-mind sense...but the answer popped almost immediately: Follow Me...where and for what, I know not. Follow that.

When I read the Alexis Wright quote above, I knew I am on the right track, going in the right direction, and though I know not my destination, I know it is God's will, God's way.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but there just is no getting better than that! 

I am peaced.

God is so good to me...God is so good.

Thank you.

WITHOUT CEASING, I

[The following is a reprint of my post of April 8, 2015.]

I offered my ego to God to tame, to do with as he willed...the answer came back that the ego is mine to tame, to do with as I will...that’s the “free will” we are given before conception, at birth, throughout our life.

Our heart and soul we can give to God, but our ego is ours TO DISCIPLINE...that’s why we must needs seek still more spiritual growth daily, twice, thrice daily...”without ceasing.”

Thank you.

WE GO TO GOD FOR GOD...AND THAT IS ALL

Fear of dementia is with me. 

This I have learned: To deny our fear is to grow it ever deeper, ever darker...to welcome it is to be peaced...or to deny our fear is to grow ego-panic; to welcome it is to be lifted into God consciousness.

I am in the process of facing my fear this morning...my fear that dementia is with me. I have journaled about it, but now, for the first time, I have shared my fear with a friend. 

How I go forward determines whether I have peace of mind (God with me) or lack of peace (egoic fear driving me). 

An idea came to me a week or so back: I may start a spiritually based Happily Living With Dementia group. Our goal: To share our fears and its recovery with others who have dementia or the fear of dementia who seek the peace that passes understanding...God's will, God's way.

We could meet weekly to share our current personal fears and facts of living with and adjusting spiritually to dementia. And/or of our recovery...free of fret, worry and self-centered fear.  

Just as an aside, I am amazed at how many folks I know or know of who are dealing with dementia...nine or ten years ago I knew no one dealing with dementia or the fear of it.

Reminder: We go to God for God, and that is all...for that is All.

Thank you. 

LET GOD TAKE OVER, I

[The following is a reprint of my post of July 25, 2016.]

But I say unto you, * * * whosoever shall smite thee on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.... == Matthew 5:39

I know of no one, most especially myself, who hasn't (using good common sense) resisted that line upon hearing it...and not just hearing it for the first time, but every single time. Until we take God's time to ponder it; i.e., go into our quiet and open our self to a higher understanding.

My common sense led me to the realization that no one I know, friend or unfriend, would slap me upside the head. Talk about me behind my back, maybe...or, more likely, chew me a new one to my eyeballs...but not slap my face. Therefore, if someone did slap my face, I could reckon that this person was not dealing from a full deck...best to smile and turn the other cheek as I quietly walk away. In other words, resist not and high tail it.

There. Common sense can lead us to the fourth dimension, and we can let God take over from there.

Thank you.

PEACE IN THE MIDST OF A STORM

The occasions may only be momentary and we quickly move back into the harsh reality of the everyday, but their effects linger, suggesting that new creation is possible and that transformation can happen. --"Richard Rohr's Daily Meditation," April 9, 2026

"The occasions" are my so-called "blinding flashes of the obvious" which come when they come...not often and then a bunch at a time. We can take that as God's timing, not mine.

Those occasions do peace my jangled mind...my fear thoughts,

There is so much less-than going on in the world today...less-than the serenity available at any and all times. But how often do I avail myself of it, of a serene mind? Yet, an unpeaced mind is where all restlessness, unease. dis-ease begins.     

To be at peace in the midst of a storm, be it mental, physical, or spiritual, is to live God's will, God's way.

We can aim for that...God's will, God's way...but to hold out for that and only that is to hold our self out from God, it seems to me. Aiming for perfection is using our own mind to define perfection, and what is less able to do just that? Nada.

We each live God's will, God's way according to our own inner God-connection. There's our journey...to seek our own God connection. 

According to me, three days after we're dead, we'll still be seeking, and that's if we're doing it right,

Thank you.

WITH GRATITUDE AND GRACE, WE FEAR NOT

Today I know to face my fears since they are with me; but how I receive fear determines my peace of mind (God with me) or lack of peace (ego driving me).  Only a peaced mind can receive the inner truth. 

I need to welcome my fear. To deny it is to give it fear-growth...to welcome it is to give it peace-growth.

I seek the peace that passes understanding...God's will, God's way which seldom offers reason to the material mind. 

To reason is to make commonsense out of a problem. There is no commonsense in God's will, God's way...there is only God's will, God's way. 

Blinding flash of the obvious: We cannot bring God's will and way down to us, we must offer us up. 

Our very offer is evidence of the spiritual love we seek...then we experience the love flow to/from us.

Thank you.

BY GRACE AND BY GOD

It seems that everything that my material mind's eyes see and judge as 'good' or 'not good' are in the spiritual world's view the opposite of what I see and how I judge what I see.  

My very first lesson is my go-to always: To my mind back then, alcoholism was bad so I knew not to admit to it. Today, to my raised consciousness, alcoholism in God's care is my blessing and became my ticket to ride...as in, still more spiritual growth always.

We leave the alcohol behind, go to God in grace and gratitude and live happy/unhappy as God wills and self aligns...yet ever free.

This morning I am fearing dementia...Mom died with it, as did my sister, and I may be experiencing hints of it. I also have intense anxiety disorder which may be doing my fear-thinking for me.

Blinding flash of the obvious:  If dementia be Thy will for me, then dementia is my will for me.

If alcoholism can be a good thing, and it is to me today, then so can dementia be...by grace and by God, Thy will, Thy way.

Thank you.

GOD GIVES, WE RECEIVE...TO PASS IT ON

....dream a new way out of no way. -- Mark Longhurst, "Fr Richard Rohr's Daily Meditation," April 6, 2026

Those words speak for me this morning...I need to continue to dream, I just need to dream a new way.

Ah, there be my stranglehold...I have not a clue where or how to start as I know not in what direction to aim...what with the fear of dementia heavy over my head.

Yesterday, Easter Sunday, I spent doing absolutely nothing. I suspect I was paralyzed with the fear of dementia, but I felt nothing.

I wonder if dementia isn't just another direction for God to lead me. I can always give it a go, and if it works, great, if it doesn't, great. Another direction will open for me, God's will, God's way.

There's my comfort...God's will, God's way. We are all living God's will, God's way whether we know it or not.

Hallelujah! Once again, I am freed from egoic fear by God's will, God's way. 

God gives; we receive...to pass it on.

Thank you.

THY WILL, THY WAY

In my mind, I seek to seek the peace that passes understanding...God's will, God's way. However, this morning my fear of dementia is with me. I know that to deny it is to give it fear-growth...to welcome it is to give it peace-growth. 

Knowing that and growing that is the equivalent of self-will vs. God's will...with self-will rigid, righteous and right and God's will giving over, giving up, giving in...thus, winning. 

Ah, words...all just words. But not useless! Necessary steppingstones up, There's my blinding flash of the obvious, and I thank You.

I need to face the fear with me...how I receive it determines my peace of mind (God with me) or lack of peace (ego driving me).

Simply acknowledging my fear of dementia has brought to mind my friend who lives with dementia alone in her home...openly and comfortably, sans fear, shame or blame. 

Blinding flash...I need to let love be in/from/to me. There is life's never-ending lesson, the singular need of all of us...to let love win Thy will, Thy way.

Thank you. 

TO LOVE IN A LOVELESS PLACE...PEACED

Fail not in your function

of loving in a loveless place

made out of darkness and deceit,

for thus are darkness and deceit undone.

from The Gift of Peace by Bernardin, Cardinal Joseph at p.95

SPIRITUAL GROWTH...THE FOREVER PARADOX

I am beginning to see that I, in my own body, am an image of what is happening everywhere.... Fr Richard Rohr, quoting an unknown other, "Daily Meditation," April 3, 2026

Whoa...I had that very thought just yesterday which I shared with a friend. The good news is that describes how I continue to feel this morning.

Good fortune and still more spiritual growth have taught us to share these blinding flashes of the obvious with trusted friends before airing them in public. Face it, often we cannot be certain sure we're not entertaining spiritual wants as done facts.

There are no free rides to still more spiritual growth...ah, but there are only free rides for still more spiritual growth.

Spiritual growth is the forever paradox...another reason to live in gratitude.

Thank you.

UNLOVE...WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?

Only a contemplative mind can hold our fear, confusion, vulnerability, and anger and guide us toward love. Those who allow themselves to be challenged and changed will be the new cultural creative voices of the next period of history after this purifying exile. -- Fr Richard Rohr, "Daily Meditations," March 24, 2026

I'm hearing the hymn Were You There? in my head this morning...repeatedly. Namely, I'm hearing the rest of that sentence: when they crucified my Lord.  

For those five words I am substituting when I lied, or I cheated, or I stole

What an exercise in arm-wrestling with my own self...everything I name, I promptly knock down for good cause. There's my ego on parade; as in, it was never my fault, never that much, never counted really.

Who is kidding whom? Clearly, it never counted that much to me...and apparently must struggle to matter yet. 

To reiterate: Only a contemplative mind can hold our fear, confusion, vulnerability, and anger and guide us toward love. 

Chilling fact: It is the last four words that cause me pause...it is the last word that causes my panic. Love. 

I have a fear of love...no, I fear love. Uh-oh...there's a whole new chapter in my book of self Unto Self. 

That is way too deep to go any further with now, or yet, but it is God's grace that I've owned it in writing this morning. 

God is so good to me...I repeat with fingers crossed.

Thank you.

THERE IS NO WRONG DIRECTION TO GOD

It doesn’t matter if we are right or wrong about what 'is.' As long as we hold on to our certainty, there is no room for faith. The discovery that 'the opposite of faith is not doubt but certainty' is one of the most freeing discoveries of my life.—Barry H., "Richard Rohr's Daily Meditation," April 1, 2026

I, too, was gifted with that well-hidden spiritual realization that 'the opposite of faith is not doubt but certainty.'  

I had no certainty about spirituality itself, but I wanted it...in truth, I wanted to be worry-free according to my lights. There...that is the cornerstone of my still more spiritual growth, i.e., going in the wrong direction and getting to God against my best thinking.

I no longer seek for my idea of God in my life...whatever questionable comes to me, looking good, bad or indifferent, I let this, too, is of God guide me, and it is no longer questionable, it just is. Kinda like breathing.

Let me be clear for my own self...this is not a one-thought deal. It takes as long as it takes for me to find my peace...one second, one day, whatever. I know God is driving this bus, and...eventually...I let Him.

God is so good to me...God is so good.

Thank you.