LOOKING FORWARD TO THE END...JOYFULLY

 I am reminded yet again: I go to God for God, and that is all.

I've arrived at the latest...and apparently last...stage of my life on this planet. I am being neither dour nor self-pitying when I think, and not a minute too soon.

I've needed to think this through...in depth...and I am satisfied that I am anticipating in wonder the next stage of God's plan not just for me but for us...for All.

I've come to joyfully accept that each stage is for our good, but it is how we perceive the good that actually plots our life  

And there it is: The pot of gold at the end of our life's rainbow is in our perception.

Say that each of us sees the same one thing, I perceive less than, you perceive pot of gold. That perception, when seen spiritually, i.e, through God's eyes, turns our once rough and rugged road into the promised path to milk and honey.

We go to God for God and that is all, for that is All.

Thank you.

THE GRACE OF SELF-ACCEPTANCE, I

[The following is a reprint of my post of July 22, 2016.]

Self-acceptance, like forgiveness, cannot be self-willed. We must go to God in humble skin to thank him for his blessings...whatever they may be. We can and will in God's good time be graced with the discovery that we have had the gift of self-acceptance within us all along.

The saddest thing is to be graced with self-acceptance and then to squander it on pride of self. Pride of self holds tight to our gift so others may admire and emulate...us.

God's gifts are freely given, but they require constant vigilance in order to keep them. Which we can only do by giving them away.

God in his goodness is really clever...and my ego Lucy still tries to get over on him. Which, according to me, cracks God up.

Thank you.

NOW WE MUST DO GOD'S WILL, GOD'S WAY

We say again and yet again, and then again: We go to God for God, and that is all...for that is all.

Ah, we say...now we must do, i.e., get crackin'.

Thank you.

GOD IS EVER WITH US WITHIN US

I have been in a state of fear...well, truth to tell, I'm still a tish fearful. I have the fear that I am losing my mind...which in fact, I am, but I realize I am not "losing" my mind, my mind is being exchanged. 

I am experiencing old-age forgetfulness. Which, I warn all old/long timers, is not anything like it used to be. Face it, we got old, we didn't get stupid. In our youth, we watched, learned, laughed at our parents as they were aging. 

If we paid close attention, however, we came to accept that this would be heading our way. too. 

Well, it's here. 

Time, however, has changed its characteristics. We thought aging would require us to just do as the parents did, so we had memorized and felt safe. 

Old age is here, and it is 2026...a far cry from 1956. Almost nothing I learned and held as my insurance for "doing it right" is useable today. Face it, that is off-putting not to mention scarifying. This, however, is where the old comes new...feel the fear and do it anyway is as good and true today as it ever was.

I'm living with my memory taking short breaks, my mind feeling scrambled, my fear doing whatever it wants that doesn't feel helpful. Ah...but I am writing my blog even as I pray my thank You. 

 I am still, always, forever grateful from my toes to my nose that God has me, you, us, them and all animals in the palm of His hand.

Thank you. 

GO WITH GOD AND GRIN AGAIN

 I am reminded yet again: I go to God for God and that is all...for that is all.

I also have a worry trying to make its home in my mind. The worry being that I'm probably going to need to move...to leave this home of mine that I've lived in for over a quarter of a century. Well, there it is: Me trying to scare me with a dreaded possibility. 

For whatever reasons, back-ass-wards as they may be...when I'm dreading and delaying, I get me in motion by inviting my worst fear to do my thinking for me. This is not planned...and I only realized that's what I do fairly recently. The fact is, it works, and at this late date in my life, anything that works for me is mine.

I'd best get clear honest...my main worry is not that I'm probably going to need to move. My worries are that I have dementia, that it is taking control of my life, and I have already lost control of my thinking.

Which really ticks me off. I am in my 80s! I thought I'd be long dead by now. Not only am I alive, but I'm also reasonably well...no known cancer or other life-threatening disease. 

Today, no known illness is not the good news! In my earlier years it was, but today, pushing 90...90!!!...I am less than comforted by that. I am the last member of my family still alive...not alive and well, but alive! With my luck I just might live to be 100...in what world is that good news?

I do have friends...need I say, not as many as I once did since I'm outliving them, too! 

Oh, this is just a screed on the joys of self-pity. All I really need do is get over myself...and p.d.q.

God is so good to me...he lets me wallow in my own crap then gives me his viewpoint, and I grin. God's got the answer...I go with God and grin again.

Thank you.

THE JOY WE FIND IN HOPE

This morning the fear of dementia in my life hovered over me. I recalled all the reminders to love, love our enemy, love our fear...kiss it on the lips.

It is very hard to honestly love the fear of dementia. I do not know if I have dementia, but I do know my fear of it is causing me to forget a lot.

Julian of Norwich was my today's reading. The first thing I read was: Julian of Norwich was especially aware of the joyful character of hope. 

There. God just handed me hope.

The more faithfully and hopefully we respond to God’s love in our life, the greater will be the fullness of our joy. -- Thomas Merton

Thank you.

TO LET IT BE IS GRACE, I

[The following is a reprint of my post of May 30, 2015.]

Life's perfect answer...love and laugh...is in my face right now and has been for a while. Today, I received a temporary add-on...learn.

Love - to consciously live a life in acceptance.
Laugh - no matter how "it" looks, because we live in acceptance, we can laugh.
Learn - this is labeled "temporary" because it is the daily discipline necessary to develop a consciousness of acceptance so that we can laugh at our reaction to whatever comes. 

Laughing, we learn, is simply not taking our self too seriously when we do meet a life's "oh-no." A child's illness, for instance, or a friend's betrayal, a foe's superiority...or Alzheimer's. Within, they are all the same...us trying yet again to take control from God.

What is, is. To let it be is grace.

Thank you.