ON LIVING OUR FAITH...DAILY

 Another blinding flash...it seems I have faith...deep faith...until I actually need it.

As I trundle forward daily, I meet the usual stumbles, bumbles and yucks, and in general take them in stride. 

I believed from my toenails up that God had me in the palm of His hand, I was safe.

Dementia...the fear of my own dementia...surely and purely put a spin on that. 

Face it, dementia is easier to accept when we're seeing it in another, ah, but hard to love when we fear we're experiencing it.  

That's the nut of my current hard time, and what an understatement. I feel pea-green-purple petrified, not to put too fine a point on it. I may, or I may not, have dementia. For certain sure, I do have fear of it. 

I remind myself of all the wonderful quotes; i.e., feel the fear and do it anyway...but when It is my fear, that's one tall order. 

There. That's another good reason why God is in my life...is essential to life if we are to live in a sane and sensible manner. Sane and sensible are spiritually based we slowly learn, and learning apparently only comes by way of Oh, no lived repeatedly.

I am living now in a state of apprehensive conjecture...which is fear prettied up. 

But I am living it, praying thank You, and moving forward; for today, that is close enough to perfect for me.

Thank you.

ON BEING LED FREE OF ME, I

 [The following is a reprint of my post of December 30, 2018.]

If what our life is showing at the moment seems to be less than wonderful, recall...again...that God knows our needs.

What we are getting is what we are needing for our still more spiritual growth according to who and what we are inside where God lives. Where we keep digging, trying to get to that which is still unknown to us, is just another room in God's hidey-hole.

God knows, and he is sending out clues. Those are the things we keep rejecting and pushing aside and calling by another's name. No. They are our very own, and when we recognize them for our very own, we will break free...free of me.

It is in the breaking down of our self, not breaking the defect but our resistance to the defect, that will free us from the bondage of self.

Face it...without those we curse, we might never walk free. Those we curse are leading us free of our own self. Get grateful...be thankful.

In my Father's house are many mansions.... John 14:2

Thank you.

LOVE IT AND LAUGH...AH, PERFECT PEACE

[He] is saying that it is possible, if we could drop down to the very bottom of the sea (an image of paradise), we would see that we’re already infinitely safe. We’re already the beloved, and as the beloved, we’re already beyond being compromised or threatened by anything because of God’s infinite love for us. We are bonded unconditionally in his love. The mystical realization is the realization of that. -- "Daily Meditation," May 16, 2026

Ah, there's our forever comfort. The thought that we are already infinitely safe comes to us by word, spoken and written, on a daily basis...if we choose to see.

So, my current fear, with the grace of gratitude and just for today, I leave you to God. Apparently, you are God's will for me, thus you are my will for me. 

No doubt, we'll visit again tomorrow for how else do we learn to love it and laugh?

God is so good to me...to us.

Thank you.

QUIT TALKING, START WALKING

I cannot afford...spiritually, mentally, physically...to get in a resistance match with anyone. Resist not evil as ever is the goal by which I choose to live.

Lord, hear my prayer...thank You.

There is turmoil going on around me and with my name on it without my even entering the fray..., and I pray my thank You that I do not. 

From my own experience, I trust that I am doing, living, being Thy will, Thy way which does not align with others' opinions of what I "should" be doing. I go to God for God and that is all.

I do not use/drive my car very much or go very far...ah, but that no doubt is what my friend thought as she continued to drive long after her diagnosis of dementia. I note she just recently totaled her car and is now Ubering.

I can start talking/sharing with a friend about going with me to turn my leased car in...Thy will, Thy way.

I best not plan on "doing" today as this is already declared to be a "dangerous heat" day. What is my action plan then? 

Do something about something was my first lesson learned...and lives today as a reminder/warning. Again, those are just words until I quit the talk and start the walk.

Oh rats...answered prayer: Do the wash...it is overdue. 

Thank you.  

ON OUR EXCHANGED MIND

 Free floating thought: My mind is not going to be 'changed,' it has already been exchanged. 

I feel like I am going backward...forgetting, feeling that I cannot trust my own self, that I need 'a keeper'...the Lord I knew and relied on seems to be no more.

Ah, my acceptance of 'reverse' is now my way, the Lord I 'knew' is the same Lord; it is my 'reverse' knowledge of Him that is living me now.

I no longer live by my will, but by grace and by God. When it is decided what, when, where that I do...I do. (The majority of the time, thank You.)

Quandry led me to UNcertainty, my rightful place, and I see...we seem to be always in search of the 'right' answer which is of 'self'...there is no God in that. 

To live by grace and by God is to live unknowing, faithfully.

With the just-realized "death" of my brain, I know not...yet I fear not. 'I fear' is my unplanned invitation to God for God's will, God's way.

Thank you.

ON THE PROVING OF TRUTH, I

[The following is a reprint of my post of December 22, 2019.]

Forgiveness is pretty much like spiritual growth...it seems talking about it lessens it. We can never capture its essence, and the more we try, i.e., talk, the less it means.

I have experienced my own forgiveness of another when I didn't even know that was what was happening. In sharing with friends later, the facts invited unanswerable questions. Human nature being such as it is of course I tried to answer...and left most everybody thinking, "Whaaa?"

Forgiveness, akin to life itself, is best worn like a loose garment. The closer we try to hold it, the more ephemeral it becomes...at which point ego claims squatters rights, and we're left scratching our head again.

Quick thought...it's like our belief in God. Up in our head, we can never be sure enough...sure enough that our belief is good enough, honest enough, pure enough. We doubt our own belief even knowing the right words, facts...personal experiences, for heaven's sake.

We will ever doubt even as we believe. Maybe that is the proof of Jesus as the Christ...he did not doubt...by his life and death, he proved.

Thank you.

THE NEW COLOSSUS GONE BEGGING, I

[The following is a reprint of my blog of December 29, 2023.]

'The New Colossus' by Emma Lazarus

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me:
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

We come again to our need to recall the promise of America to the "wretched refuse" of other teeming shores.

Again, and yet again, we trample that promise without so much as a backward glance as we roll on...and who cares if we're going in the right direction? We're strutting our stuff, showing 'em how it's done...and who cares if we do not have a clue our own self? Throw another log on the fire.

I miss Kate Smith singing "God Bless America," and America standing with its hand over its heart and tears of gratitude in its eyes.

Father, forgive us for we know not what we do.

Thank you.