TRUST GOD AND REMAIN WILLING

Creation and cosmos belong to everyone—and no one—and it calls us to a larger consciousness of expanded love. -- Julian of Norwich 

Ah, a larger consciousness of expanded love. There...life's marching orders repeated. 

My note in my daily reader: Whatever is mine by grace and by God, I welcome...fear of dementia, or dementia itself (or simply my old friend nerves), I welcome.

Big (God) change: I welcome my recent betrayer back into my life...we are all too old, too needy, too honest to live in an attitude of spite and malice...payback is for sissies, too afraid to trust God's will, God's way.

Further, I need beware of self-determined objectives...I see me running to my former betrayer and hugging him, thus "proving" my superior spiritual nature. I need to just be friendly, hug if a hug is called for, force nothing.  

Trust God, be willing and keep on truckin'. 

Thank you. 

THE GIFT OF HOPE

This morning the fear of dementia hovered over me...still. The fear tends to come, go, come again. I tend to let it for I know fighting fear grows fear stronger. 

I recall all the reminders to love, love our enemy, love our fear...kiss it on the lips, we were told.

It is very hard to honestly love the fear of dementia, much less dementia itself. I do not know if I have dementia, but I do know my fear of it is causing me to forget a lot.

Here's God's gift to me: Julian of Norwich was my reading today, and the first thing I read? Julian of Norwich was especially aware of the joyful character of hope.

There. God just gifted me with hope.

Thank you.

GOD'S WILL, GOD'S WAY

I am remembering the song, 'Whatever Will Be Will Be.' This I know from my own experience, whatever will be, will be for my benefit.

That is the last line of my yesterday's blog which today has a deeper meaning for me; namely, that for my benefit rarely resembles my reasoning-mind prayer. 

Neither God's will nor God's way is of the reasoning mind. That is how we learn to pray thank You for whatever comes to us, knowing that this is God's will, God's way...unrecognizable to us on first meeting. 

We go to God for God, and that is all...for that is all. 

Thank you.

GRACE OF GOD AND GRATITUDE

Here's me today, bordering on fear and trepidation...fear that dementia is on my plate and ready...ah, for what? There's the dreaded border.

I am a tish surprised that I wrote "bordering on"...it is true, I am not full-out panic stricken, but I do have a sense of dread in my belly.

Being in the crosshairs of dementia and not feeling dread is akin to being on the tracks of an oncoming train and feeling fairly calm about it. Say what?!

However, I am not full-out panicked. I attribute that to God, grace and the willingness to grow spiritually, as in: Give over, give up, give in while praying thank You for the good, the bad and the ugly.

I achieve that today the majority of the time...some days that is 51 percent, some days I get way up in the 70s. bordering 80s. There: Shout hallelujah and feel the grace of God.

I am remembering the song, Whatever Will Be Will Be. This I know from my own experience, whatever will be, will be for my benefit.

Thank you.

WITH GRACE AND GRATITUDE

Say we make a decision to turn our will and our life over to the care of God as we understand Him...the hard lesson we learn is that leaves all to God. Every jot and tittle, every breath we take is left to the care of God. [From my post of May 29, 2019.]

That is my hard lesson to accept today. Recently, I've written about my suspicion (fear) that I am coming into dementia...or that I have dementia.

That is a scary fact, the fact of dementia. 

This is where lessons learned rush to our aid. The pearl beyond price in my life is that I have learned to welcome my fear, specifically my fear of whatever unwanted that I see coming to me.

I suspect that dementia is an unwanted to any one of us. I do have anxiety disorder which causes panic-forgetfulness so I'm letting my self-diagnosed dementia hover in the land of maybe/maybe not.  

This I know from personal and priceless experience...whatever I am fearing that looks less-than yet is heading to me is for my benefit by grace and by God. Ergo, I pray thank You.

The thought occurs that I can think of dementia as an untrained puppy...it rules until I learn how to...with grace and gratitude. 

And God is back on the field.

Thank you.

GOD-GUIDED IS FREEDOM

 We must try with a will or fall by the wayside. -- Anonymous (to me)

Let go and let God. -- Anonymous (to me)

At many different times in my life, I have lived by both of those adages. Both are right on target if and when we know when to apply them in our life.

To try with a will in an obviously negative-result situation qualifies for self-will run riot. 

Pretty much the same goes for let go and let God only in the opposite direction...as in, too afraid to try, or to trust God to walk us through our dilemma. We tend to describe that as being "chicken" which says more than we want to hear.

As life flies by, I am becoming more aware of the truth we quote so blithely, i.e., that living in the now, the here and now, is God's home...for Him and for me, for you, for us.

The wonder of that flash of insight is it came when I felt fear of dementia...of my possibly/probably having dementia. I gut-bucket knew that if I do, I will live there by God and by grace. 

With God as our Guide, we are free. 

Thank you.

FREED FROM RESENTMENT, 1

[The following is a reprint of my post of May 25, 2016.]

We must be willing to hurt our own feelings for the benefit of another. This is a major, but just another, lesson in learning to detach from our dependence on our own reasoning mind.

Since it is our own thoughts that engineer our hurt, we must feel that hurt and know it for the nothingness that it is. Otherwise, we will put someone else's name on it and feel a compulsive want (that we mistake for need) to "set him straight" or hurt her in kind, i.e., the way we perceive they have hurt us.

In fact, our hurt feelings begin when our own thinking grows horns and gores us. I suspect that is the journey of psychic hurt...it begins with our resistance to it, really.

This explains the how and why of the Sermon's "turn the other cheek." It frees us from our guilty desire to feel resentful.

Peace, be still.

Thank you.