BY GRACE AND BY GOD

It seems that everything that my material mind's eyes see and judge as 'good' or 'not good' are in the spiritual world's view the opposite of what I see and how I judge what I see.  

My very first lesson is my go-to always: To my mind back then, alcoholism was bad so I knew not to admit to it. Today, to my raised consciousness, alcoholism in God's care is my blessing and became my ticket to ride...as in, still more spiritual growth always.

We leave the alcohol behind, go to God in grace and gratitude and live happy/unhappy as God wills and self aligns...yet ever free.

This morning I am fearing dementia...Mom died with it, as did my sister, and I may be experiencing hints of it. I also have intense anxiety disorder which may be doing my fear-thinking for me.

Blinding flash of the obvious:  If dementia be Thy will for me, then dementia is my will for me.

If alcoholism can be a good thing, and it is to me today, then so can dementia be...by grace and by God, Thy will, Thy way.

Thank you.

GOD GIVES, WE RECEIVE...TO PASS IT ON

....dream a new way out of no way. -- Mark Longhurst, "Fr Richard Rohr's Daily Meditation," April 6, 2026

Those words speak for me this morning...I need to continue to dream, I just need to dream a new way.

Ah, there be my stranglehold...I have not a clue where or how to start as I know not in what direction to aim...what with the fear of dementia heavy over my head.

Yesterday, Easter Sunday, I spent doing absolutely nothing. I suspect I was paralyzed with the fear of dementia, but I felt nothing.

I wonder if dementia isn't just another direction for God to lead me. I can always give it a go, and if it works, great, if it doesn't, great. Another direction will open for me, God's will, God's way.

There's my comfort...God's will, God's way. We are all living God's will, God's way whether we know it or not.

Hallelujah! Once again, I am freed from egoic fear by God's will, God's way. 

God gives; we receive...to pass it on.

Thank you.

THY WILL, THY WAY

In my mind, I seek to seek the peace that passes understanding...God's will, God's way. However, this morning my fear of dementia is with me. I know that to deny it is to give it fear-growth...to welcome it is to give it peace-growth. 

Knowing that and growing that is the equivalent of self-will vs. God's will...with self-will rigid, righteous and right and God's will giving over, giving up, giving in...thus, winning. 

Ah, words...all just words. But not useless! Necessary steppingstones up, There's my blinding flash of the obvious, and I thank You.

I need to face the fear with me...how I receive it determines my peace of mind (God with me) or lack of peace (ego driving me).

Simply acknowledging my fear of dementia has brought to mind my friend who lives with dementia alone in her home...openly and comfortably, sans fear, shame or blame. 

Blinding flash...I need to let love be in/from/to me. There is life's never-ending lesson, the singular need of all of us...to let love win Thy will, Thy way.

Thank you. 

TO LOVE IN A LOVELESS PLACE...PEACED

Fail not in your function

of loving in a loveless place

made out of darkness and deceit,

for thus are darkness and deceit undone.

from The Gift of Peace by Bernardin, Cardinal Joseph at p.95

SPIRITUAL GROWTH...THE FOREVER PARADOX

I am beginning to see that I, in my own body, am an image of what is happening everywhere.... Fr Richard Rohr, quoting an unknown other, "Daily Meditation," April 3, 2026

Whoa...I had that very thought just yesterday which I shared with a friend. The good news is that describes how I continue to feel this morning.

Good fortune and still more spiritual growth have taught us to share these blinding flashes of the obvious with trusted friends before airing them in public. Face it, often we cannot be certain sure we're not entertaining spiritual wants as done facts.

There are no free rides to still more spiritual growth...ah, but there are only free rides for still more spiritual growth.

Spiritual growth is the forever paradox...another reason to live in gratitude.

Thank you.

UNLOVE...WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?

Only a contemplative mind can hold our fear, confusion, vulnerability, and anger and guide us toward love. Those who allow themselves to be challenged and changed will be the new cultural creative voices of the next period of history after this purifying exile. -- Fr Richard Rohr, "Daily Meditations," March 24, 2026

I'm hearing the hymn Were You There? in my head this morning...repeatedly. Namely, I'm hearing the rest of that sentence: when they crucified my Lord.  

For those five words I am substituting when I lied, or I cheated, or I stole

What an exercise in arm-wrestling with my own self...everything I name, I promptly knock down for good cause. There's my ego on parade; as in, it was never my fault, never that much, never counted really.

Who is kidding whom? Clearly, it never counted that much to me...and apparently must struggle to matter yet. 

To reiterate: Only a contemplative mind can hold our fear, confusion, vulnerability, and anger and guide us toward love. 

Chilling fact: It is the last four words that cause me pause...it is the last word that causes my panic. Love. 

I have a fear of love...no, I fear love. Uh-oh...there's a whole new chapter in my book of self Unto Self. 

That is way too deep to go any further with now, or yet, but it is God's grace that I've owned it in writing this morning. 

God is so good to me...I repeat with fingers crossed.

Thank you.

THERE IS NO WRONG DIRECTION TO GOD

It doesn’t matter if we are right or wrong about what 'is.' As long as we hold on to our certainty, there is no room for faith. The discovery that 'the opposite of faith is not doubt but certainty' is one of the most freeing discoveries of my life.—Barry H., "Richard Rohr's Daily Meditation," April 1, 2026

I, too, was gifted with that well-hidden spiritual realization that 'the opposite of faith is not doubt but certainty.'  

I had no certainty about spirituality itself, but I wanted it...in truth, I wanted to be worry-free according to my lights. There...that is the cornerstone of my still more spiritual growth, i.e., going in the wrong direction and getting to God against my best thinking.

I no longer seek for my idea of God in my life...whatever questionable comes to me, looking good, bad or indifferent, I let this, too, is of God guide me, and it is no longer questionable, it just is. Kinda like breathing.

Let me be clear for my own self...this is not a one-thought deal. It takes as long as it takes for me to find my peace...one second, one day, whatever. I know God is driving this bus, and...eventually...I let Him.

God is so good to me...God is so good.

Thank you.