I bring good news. In my 23rd Psalm meditation, I’ve tried
substituting the name of a friend for “The Lord is my
shepherd.” For a few days now I’ve used his name as my shepherd.
My friend and I had been close, and I had
absolutely nothing against him until he became very resistant to me…correcting
me in mid-sentence, interrupting me, setting me straight. When I asked him if
we could get clear, he agreed, but the situation became more muddled. So I’ve
been practicing conscious non-resistance…not negatively resisting
(responding in kind), not currying his favor (people pleasing), just not
responding within me/without me.
This morning, after my meditation as I was journaling, I saw
clearly that it was his fear, and what the fear was, that was the divider.
His fear had come across to me as resentment. I had been alternating between examining
myself, trying to figure out what I’d done to cause him to resent me, and
attacking him in my mind.
I felt real compassion because it is a fear I have
known…and it doesn’t really matter whether it is fear of rejection, fear of
being left out, what the fear is AFTER you are able to name the fear.
More important to me, I could accept that it is not mine to
fix…I can let him walk free in my own mind. He may come to see it as the fear I
see it as, and he may never see it the way I do.
Most important to me, I broke free of my own attachment…it
really had nothing to do with him.
Thank You.
No comments:
Post a Comment