I WILL BE RELEASED

Blinding flash of the obvious: It is not what happened to me as a child or who did it... it is how I chose, even then, to respond.

With that BFO, I realize the cause and the result of all my perceived trials, tribulations and travails have that, my original responding choice, as their birthing place. It has thought my thoughts, sang my song, cried my tears since. 

Ah, and this, too, is God's giftee. 

This, too, can...must...be carried with me on my return journey. With every Step along my journey, I drop a tear, free a tish, let a teeny bit go, consciously or unconsciously. It is all of God.

I pray thank you...grace carries the heavy...I will be released.

Thank you.

GOD IS NOT A LONER

Agree with your adversary quickly. -- from The Sermon on the Mount

It is clear that we will never agree one hundred percent with everybody...not so clear is that we must come to agreement right Now with whomever we are disagreeing with. 

We have learned that silence is not agreement, and we must beware of the dual tendency to either shut up or speak out. Of shutting up, we  have experienced silence as a judgment which hurts and/or angers as much as speaking out. The better way is to learn to make listening noises as we withdraw from verbal battles...which is to say, remove our focus from the negative, refocus on a positive. 

With listening noises, the tone of our voice matters...there is a world of difference between a heavy "Huh!" and a light "Humm." Neither enunciates  a word, both convey a world of meaning, but only the latter offers the intention to come to agreement.

The hard lesson a-learning: When we humbly ask God to remove our defects of character, our work begins. As Fr Richard Rohr wrote in today's "Daily Meditation," We must participate in the process! 

That's how still  more spiritual growth takes root, sprouts and grows us...by our participation in God's  process. God is not a loner.

Thank you.

THE FOUNDATION FOR A LIFE WELL LIVED

To me, the two most important words for spiritual growth are trust God. To trust God without fail is all but humanly impossible...we cannot realistically expect to ever achieve it, but to aim there is to get out of self.

Unsurprisingly, the test for trusting God generally comes in the shape of a dollar sign. For the sake of simple goodness, trust God as we may, the reasoning mind is unlikely to accept the need to give up or to not get financial gain no matter the amount of dollars involved. 

Our better self may easily want to...actually will...give up, donate, contribute for the good of another when we believe we have more than enough to give. However, when we're feeling a tish pinched, whether we are or not, few if any dimes or dollars pass from our hands for the benefit of another. 

In general, this thinking applies to all of us...Pope, piper and just plain folk...justified by "that's just commonsense." Instinct argues "to give up what little I have for the benefit of another may leave me in need."

It is that reasoning that sells the Sermon short. Because there's little, if anything, in the Sermon that can be justified by commonsense. Basically, the Sermon does not make a lick of sense to the reasoning mind. Check it out: Resist not evil? If anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also? If anyone would sue you and take your coat, let him have your cloak as well? (Matthew 5:38)

We must trust that? That is what we're throwing in with? On trust?

There is the root of our woes...we stay stuck in the reasoning mind while studying how to have the mind of the Buddha, the mind that was in Christ Jesus. Many of us pray the prayer of Saint Francis daily but actually do what we're praying for? Hardly.

Nobody I know, least of all me, is or is likely to become a saint. But to aspire to their ways...to want to be more caring for another's welfare than I am for my own because I trust God has my back...I believe is God's will for us.

The secret, and that which we tend to forget, is that we do not do anything all on our own. All our seeking still more spiritual growth is about seeking...we achieve some, show forth a little and be as happy as the moment calls for. There. That's the foundation for a life well lived. According to me.

Thank you.

THE SLIVER OF GOLD, GOD

Fear. One of the smartest...or most useful...remarks I hold dear is FDR's "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." 

Since fear lives within us, as does patience but that's another post, our smart way-to-go when we feel fear arising is to immediately turn our thoughts to our inner cleanup crew, God. We pray thank you and do something about something...something else about something else, to get specific about it.

We know that to fight fear is to lose...even when we win, we lose. Fear, being at home wherever it chooses, may appear to lose, but it will re-gird and come back strong as ever. We resist not...i.e., we let it. 

We let it by seeking the good in the fear appearing...the sliver of gold hidden there.  

To focus on finding the sliver of gold, that elusive infinitesimal sliver of good, is to take our focus off that oncoming mental monster, fear. Unfocused-on fear is gratitude aborning.  

Hold the gold, hold God's hand. Proof: There is nothing to fear but fear itself.

Thank you.

TRUE HAPPINESS...RETIRING, WITH FRIENDS

True happiness is of a retired nature, and an enemy to pomp and noise; it arises in the first place, from the enjoyment of one's self, and, in the next, from the friendship and conversation of a few select companions.  -- Joseph Addison, 18th century English essayist

I came across the Addison quote and felt an immediate connection...kinda like a one-sentence autobiography. Then I had to Google Joseph Addison. 

I am reminded of my promise to me early in the pandemic, to "keep my eyes on the prize," i.e., find the sliver of gold in this sucker. Honestly, to focus on finding the good in a not-good situation...this time  the pandemic...is a peacemaker. It calms my panic-prone self at any rate. 

I suspect that was the origins of my sense of connection, but when I read true happiness...arises in the first place from enjoyment of one's self, that sealed the deal. I have found a deeper contentment with my own company purely from the pandemic's forced confinement. 

However, that same forced confinement is becoming its own enemy...I am so over me. Which proves the truth of true happiness also arising from the friendship and conversation of a few select companions. Note, please, of a few select companions. That's the key for me. 

Whoa. Well, there it is. The reason why smart people keep their innermost self in wraps. The way feelings sound when described aloud and  the way feelings make themselves known inside us are as different as self-determined and God-given. 

It is a quirky fact that the human-condition difference between those who need the friendship and conversation of a few select friends versus those who need the friendship and conversation of several to many friends forms the root of too many judgments...each group judging the other adversely.

Being able to accept which need best fits us personally is the core, the very source, of true happiness: Enjoyment of one's self. The rest...friendship and conversation with a select few or with innumerable others...is the footloose and fun part for all.

Thank you.

THE ATTACK MIND PEACED

You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth,' But I say to you, Do not resist one who is evil. -- Matthew 5:38

In my morning study of the Sermon, specifically the first sentence of Matthew 5:38, "You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth,'" I realized that I have never given the eye/tooth phrase sufficient (if any) attention. But that is where my reasoning mind (also psychological teaching) lives. As in, we must take our own part, stand up for ourself, speak up, etc.

Understanding, I see the glue that has kept me mentally attached to my attack mind even when my actions are obeying the second sentence (and my favorite), Do not resist.... 

I suspect and hope that this may be the permission I have needed to loose my attack mind and let it go. I've prayed for release, but never realized my egoic law has been "respond in kind" even though, from my eyebrows up, I have known better.

I have pondered, written about, prayed my thank you for my attack mind...for to get shed of it. It has been a conundrum how, without thought, my physical actions toward incoming ugly have become fairly nonresistant...then, at some point later when I'm alone, my thoughts go on the attack. With outgoing uglier. Snarkier, meaner. Toward that ugly one. Playing to an imaginary audience. Cheering me on.

It doesn't take Jung to explain, and I ain't Jung but I ain't stupid...ego unleashed makes an end-run around God whenever it gets the chance...whenever I give it the chance, putting the fine point of truth on it.

But wait! That's not news...that is what we learn with still more spiritual growth every day...that's why we meditate daily. My almost daily prayer that my attack mind be tamed, transformed, transmuted...killed!...made my attack mind my God at that moment. My focus was on a negative...resistance, rather than on a positive...love.

There it is...further proof that already all my problems have been solved! All the while I sought release from my attack mind, my attack mind had been rested in God. Ah, or never existed? But I'm not there yet.

All I need do is welcome the cause of my attack mind for it got here by ego to begin with. Gertrude slams me, I'm cheated on and laughed at into the bargain...mentally hug 'em and kiss 'em and let 'em go. There. That's the attack mind used as the vessel to carry ego's ashes out and away on words of praise.

He goes before us to make the crooked places straight. -- Isaiah 45:2 

Thank you.

TRUST, AN INNER KNOWING

Paradox alert! Our ego thrives on blame and shame...it thrives through our never-ending seeking to be absolved of all blame and shame. 

It is a rude but wonderful awakening when we realize our error...we get a flicker that blame and shame are God's glory aborning.

That same flicker brings awareness that blame and shame, our ego's warts, are of no personal use whatsoever. They are purchased by ego and paid for by chagrin...ah, but transformed by the awareness of our Soul. 

Our transformation comes when our thinking, centered on the unjustified and unfair cause of our pain, is lifted deeper...to a place of the Unknown, i.e., trust. Trust that this, too, is of God...that God's hand is in this, the very cause of our pain, and in it for our benefit. 

We welcome it with our thank you...before we even know why.

Trust in God does not come after the miracle. Trust comes before our eyes can see, before our ears can hear, before our want can get its pants on. 

When the house is on fire, the river is overflowing, our bank account is underfunded...trust that God's hand is in this. Find it, love, laugh and hang In.

In essence, and according to me, that is the sum and substance of a spiritually based life...trusting God's hand is it it for our benefit.

Thank you.