In my morning study of the Sermon, specifically the first sentence of Matthew 5:38, "You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth,'" I realized that I have never given the eye/tooth phrase sufficient (if any) attention. But that is where my reasoning mind (also psychological teaching) lives. As in, we must take our own part, stand up for ourself, speak up, etc.
Understanding, I see the glue that has kept me mentally attached to my attack mind even when my actions are obeying the second sentence (and my favorite), Do not resist....
I suspect and hope that this may be the permission I have needed to loose my attack mind and let it go. I've prayed for release, but never realized my egoic law has been "respond in kind" even though, from my eyebrows up, I have known better.
I have pondered, written about, prayed my thank you for my attack mind...for to get shed of it. It has been a conundrum how, without thought, my physical actions toward incoming ugly have become fairly nonresistant...then, at some point later when I'm alone, my thoughts go on the attack. With outgoing uglier. Snarkier, meaner. Toward that ugly one. Playing to an imaginary audience. Cheering me on.
I have pondered, written about, prayed my thank you for my attack mind...for to get shed of it. It has been a conundrum how, without thought, my physical actions toward incoming ugly have become fairly nonresistant...then, at some point later when I'm alone, my thoughts go on the attack. With outgoing uglier. Snarkier, meaner. Toward that ugly one. Playing to an imaginary audience. Cheering me on.
It doesn't take Jung to explain, and I ain't Jung but I ain't stupid...ego unleashed makes an end-run around God whenever it gets the chance...whenever I give it the chance, putting the fine point of truth on it.
But wait! That's not news...that is what we learn with still more spiritual growth every day...that's why we meditate daily. My almost daily prayer that my attack mind be tamed, transformed, transmuted...killed!...made my attack mind my God at that moment. My focus was on a negative...resistance, rather than on a positive...love.
There it is...further proof that already all my problems have been solved! All the while I sought release from my attack mind, my attack mind had been rested in God. Ah, or never existed? But I'm not there yet.
All I need do is welcome the cause of my attack mind for it got here by ego to begin with. Gertrude slams me, I'm cheated on and laughed at into the bargain...mentally hug 'em and kiss 'em and let 'em go. There. That's the attack mind used as the vessel to carry ego's ashes out and away on words of praise.
He goes before us to make the crooked places straight. -- Isaiah 45:2
Thank you.
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