BE PRESENT AND KNOW GOD

Here's what I believe: When Jesus was given the choice of dying on the cross, he prayed for that choice to pass on by. It did not, and he made his decision to go all in with God...to die on the cross, to be crucified dead and buried.

According to me, it was that decision that rocketed him into the 4th (or 5th or higher) dimension, and he went through all his trials, pain and terror with God carrying him and his pain and terror...he knew naught of them. He knew God.

I choose to believe that is how Daniel Pearl, et al., got through their beheadings, and that is how I get through my poor, pitiful and puny anxiety attacks that feel so pain filled and terror ridden.

That's the reason I believe going all in with God rather than "better living through chemistry" is the sane choice. Where was Daniel Pearl going to go to get a Xanax? He could think "God" and BINGO! There's God.

God is with us always and all ways. We're the ones not present.

Thank you.

GO ALL IN OR IT'S ALL TALK

All the knowledge in the world...all the wonderful how-to-grow-spiritually-in-an-unspiritual-world...all the love we have within us, which is all the love there is...is useless if we do not live it. Think, feel, do...be it.

Forgiveness is not forgiveness if we don't forget that which we say we've forgiven. Love is not love if we only use a little at a time...or if we only love 90 percent. Kindness isn't kindness if we believe we have a choice in the matter. Forgiveness, kindness, love...we either go all in or we're all talk.

Who isn't sweet, kind, considerate, lovable and generous when being gifted with the same? It's the selection process that has to go...thinking we can go to God all loved, lovable and loving, on a three-legged pony, will not do it.

Unless we carry the pony. For the pony's sake.

Thank you.

THE STATE OF UNKNOWING

[The following is a reprint of my blog of November 29, 2008.]

It is in the state of unknowing where I rest…in the assurance that the Spirit within me does, and is doing, Its perfect work…always and all ways.

Thank you.

LISTEN...THEN DO

I love finding my handwritten notes that I've written in my daily readers. No matter what year I wrote them, they nearly always are exactly right for me that day. For instance, in today's "God Calling," I noted in 2007: Practice living love by loving adversity the same as no adversity.

Yesterday's note, dated 1997, was a reminder not to be talking forgiveness, thinking vengeance.

Don't tell me God doesn't speak directly to us. All we must needs do is listen...then do.

Thank you.

SECRETS AND SAND DUNES

I am deeply shaken. Secrets, the bane of life itself.

I've learned of a friend's secret which feels like a complete betrayal of me and all I've shared with her. She keeps secrets, and I never realized it...until recently. Then she let slip her secret of something she stole from me. I don't really mind that she has it, I care beyond words that she did it in secret...and does not seem to have a clue that her behavior is hurtful.

I'm reminded of the cat that does her business in a sand box, covers it up and calls it a sand dune. It is not...it is a secret.

I go back again to my fail-safe: "If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also." That's where I need to keep my focus. Not on the wrong...that's not mine...but on my "deeply shaken," my "hurt."

Fortunately, I have learned it is true what Eckhart Tolle espouses: "Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness." In short, I needed this, if for no other reason than to learn more completely that my reaction is more important to my spiritual growth than what I am reacting to.

Thy will not mine be done.

Thank you.

ADDICTED TO OUR OWN THINKING

I remember the first time I heard someone say that he was addicted to excitement. That's heard more often today, but to me forty years ago, it was an Oh No and a WOW at the same time...and doesn't that perfectly prove the point?

Recently, Fr. Richard Rohr wrote in his Daily Meditation, "Spiritual traditions at their higher levels discovered that the primary addiction for all humans is addiction to our own way of thinking."  That fairly well states the same point. Only, now, "spiritual traditions" give it legitimacy...or hubris.

I suspect that addiction is the source and the proof that we're only as sick as our secrets. Addicted to our own way of thinking can keep us from sharing our own thinking if and when we feel selfish...or superior. By not sharing those "less than/better than" thoughts with others, we lock our self down...bringing ego on the run to do our thinking for us.

I'm a believer that telling one other person our secrets is just the first step toward free from ego...we must needs keep that door open by sharing with another and another. It is through sharing that we get clarity of our self, of our own motives...and the more we share, the clearer we become.

That came to me in a blinding flash of the obvious many years ago when a doctor prescribed some medication for my anxiety. I knew then, and know today, that popping a pill to lift me over any anxiety, depression, or other sideways feelings, is not the path for me. That instance probably was my first break into complete acceptance of myself. It mattered not what anybody else needed to do for himself or herself...I did not condemn them then and do not today. For me, I try to keep my focus on God and seek still more spiritual growth. I feel anxious when I feel anxious and freely talk about it to God and others.

That's what still more spiritual growth is all about, according to me...learning to keep our focus on God's will and not fight the ego-thoughts...which only gives them new life.

We can bring those thoughts back to God with a giggle, a grin and a thank you...then, best part, share them with friends with that same giggle and grin and thank you.

Thank you.

THE WAY OF THE CROSS...THE DEATH OF EGO

I am learning...slowly, slowly...to live my life detached from my own imperfect viewpoint. Recently a friend and I each felt "done wrong" by the other...according to our own self-centered thinking.

Detaching myself from the whole situation, I saw that which I had resisted and personalized (which is the first step in attaching). Rather than hold to my hurt opinion that this was her putting me down (inviting her right-back-at'cha angry opinion of me), I experimented. I invited my belief that "God's hand is in it" to do my thinking for me. (I believe, or say I do, that God's hand is in everything...especially the not wonderful happenings that we resist and pray for God to change...in our favor.)

This happened awhile back, and the punchline is that she responded in kind, that is to say, with love; since then we each show each other courtesy, kindness and love, and today we are closer friends because of that incident.

Now. Today. Here's me with almost the exact same situation but different friend. I feel like I'm arm-wrestling with God because I am right, and she is wrong. I want for her own good to lovingly tell her that I am right and she is wrong period, get over yourself, Gertrude, let's move on.

I know from my toenails up that I will do the right thing...give up, give over...because I no longer have a choice. Reaping the rewards of spiritual growth just once is the teacher. That's how we learn that there is no inside advancement, only falling back, if we don't.

That's the trouble with still more spiritual growth...you never get to feel good about yourself until after you've given over, given in, conceded, surrendered, LOST. But then you really, really do feel...not so much good about yourself, but contented, I guess. At peace for sure, but deeper even.

Hey, that may be the love we seek which is always present...we just don't feel it until we let go...of everything.

My blinding flash of the obvious: Can the way of the cross be a metaphor for the death of ego? It feels like crucifixion, or we fear it will feel like crucifixion, but in fact there is naught but a sweet feeling of awe when we refuse our ego and choose God.

Thank you.