I awoke this morning thinking of the tradition that our unity must come first. I think of my desire as I enter a room of fellow seekers to silently remind myself, "Our unity must come first."
Then I read my Rohr "Daily Meditation," and there it is: We are called to live in harmony with each other and all created things. Creating harmony is invariably an absolutely central idea in most Native religions.
I wonder...what if that's really the only thing we each in this world need do? Create harmony. Then live in harmony with each other and all created things.
I mean it's as easy, takes no more energy, to shoot a silent prayer for another as it is to shoot a verbal zinger at another.
Here's me...laying out a guaranteed peace plan for the entire world when my own bathroom mirror shouts snark at me half the time.
And God grins.
Thank you.
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
Monday, July 6, 2015
BLESS THEM, CHANGE ME. . .AGAIN
[The following is a reworked reprint of my blog of February 28, 2012.]
A couple of quick thoughts that I read this morning really caught my attention. The first was just four words: “fascinated by our sins” and the other, “the attainment of a merciful heart.”
Each of these was personal to me…”fascinated by our sins” spoke of my getting bogged down in my rues, regrets and remorses. I would never have put that label on it because “fascinated” has such a glitzy sound to me…like, something good I’m seeing or experiencing. I am reminded of the snake…is it the cobra?…that the story says holds one in thrall in order to strike…and kill. Which pretty much describes getting bogged down in rues and regrets. Caught up in a fascination of my sins leads to a deadening…a deadening of spirit, mind, want to…want to do anything but mull those regrets.
The other, “the attainment of a merciful heart,” spoke to my daily focus…finding understanding within me for The Donald, for Ted, et al. The quote is attributed to Isaac of Syria who said, in part, that the attainment of a merciful heart comes from constantly offering prayers with tears for the enemies of truth.
I felt both comforted and electrified by the words “with tears.” I doubt Isaac meant that the way I’m experiencing it, but for today I’ve got to believe that the tears are for my inability to move off of my resistance to those two. I still just have a strong desire to smack them.
Bless them, change me…sigh.
Thank you.
A couple of quick thoughts that I read this morning really caught my attention. The first was just four words: “fascinated by our sins” and the other, “the attainment of a merciful heart.”
Each of these was personal to me…”fascinated by our sins” spoke of my getting bogged down in my rues, regrets and remorses. I would never have put that label on it because “fascinated” has such a glitzy sound to me…like, something good I’m seeing or experiencing. I am reminded of the snake…is it the cobra?…that the story says holds one in thrall in order to strike…and kill. Which pretty much describes getting bogged down in rues and regrets. Caught up in a fascination of my sins leads to a deadening…a deadening of spirit, mind, want to…want to do anything but mull those regrets.
The other, “the attainment of a merciful heart,” spoke to my daily focus…finding understanding within me for The Donald, for Ted, et al. The quote is attributed to Isaac of Syria who said, in part, that the attainment of a merciful heart comes from constantly offering prayers with tears for the enemies of truth.
I felt both comforted and electrified by the words “with tears.” I doubt Isaac meant that the way I’m experiencing it, but for today I’ve got to believe that the tears are for my inability to move off of my resistance to those two. I still just have a strong desire to smack them.
Bless them, change me…sigh.
Thank you.
Sunday, July 5, 2015
WATCHING WIMBLEDON WORKS
Watching Wimbledon works. As I watched Roger Federer yesterday, I let my thoughts run free...they of course went back to the one who done me wrong.
As I let my thoughts go, without comment or judgment, I saw my mother. And, I flashed back to when God told me that my mother did not know what appropriate was...which led to the unwelcome realization that I am my mother.
I know what appropriate is today most of the time, but when I don't know, I don't know. I saw that my undesired friend does not know what appropriate is. In fact, she meant no harm to me, she simply did not know by her inappropriate actions, she was dumping on me. I have been there.
I read long ago that we are never angry for the reason we think. I have found that to be true, I just forget to remember in the moment that anger grabs my brain.
To paraphrase Fr. Richard Rohr: Under stress, behavior can reveal if the person is secure in God or still protecting self. Clearly, I was still protecting self, but I am grateful that I've cut the lag time way down. In under 24 hours, I felt righted...not right, righted. Back, trudging in the right direction.
I do believe I have no animosity toward my friend...how can I when he has proven to be another angel in my life. They're everywhere, they're everywhere!
Thank you.
As I let my thoughts go, without comment or judgment, I saw my mother. And, I flashed back to when God told me that my mother did not know what appropriate was...which led to the unwelcome realization that I am my mother.
I know what appropriate is today most of the time, but when I don't know, I don't know. I saw that my undesired friend does not know what appropriate is. In fact, she meant no harm to me, she simply did not know by her inappropriate actions, she was dumping on me. I have been there.
I read long ago that we are never angry for the reason we think. I have found that to be true, I just forget to remember in the moment that anger grabs my brain.
To paraphrase Fr. Richard Rohr: Under stress, behavior can reveal if the person is secure in God or still protecting self. Clearly, I was still protecting self, but I am grateful that I've cut the lag time way down. In under 24 hours, I felt righted...not right, righted. Back, trudging in the right direction.
I do believe I have no animosity toward my friend...how can I when he has proven to be another angel in my life. They're everywhere, they're everywhere!
Thank you.
Saturday, July 4, 2015
WHEN WRONG...WATCH WIMBLEDON
I come again, speeding down life's highway, having learned all the driving instructions when I was 15, ignoring many of them now...and asking God to tell me again, "Does a red light means stop or go?"
I know the answer, of course, At my age, there are very few questions pertinent to my life that haven't already been answered. Remembering the answers is not the Catch-22...remembering is on God, according to me. It's choosing to use the right answers...to do the right thing...to really and truly not be as nasty as I want to be (a favorite phrase but my pulling it off can be a tish dicey at times).
And I did it yesterday. I gave over to another (who, may I say and I wish I wouldn't, deserved a boatload of nasty). But I did. I did give over and graciously if I do say so myself.
Here's the dunk in the ice water: I don't feel all that wonderful about it. I don't have that well-earned gold star feeling. In fact, I strongly suspect the problem is that he thinks he got over on me! There. And nobody has to guess what that's all about. I know ego when it spits in my eye.
I open one of my morning readings, and here's Meister Eckhart, dead these 600 some years, speaking directly to me: Some people want to see God with their eyes as they see a cow, and to love Him as they love their cow -- for the milk and cheese and profit it brings them. This is how it is with people who love God for the sake of outward wealth or inward comfort.
It's that "inward comfort" that trips me every time. I guess I'd best take my comfort in the fact that it could be worse...I could be utterly unaware of where I need look to fix my problem. But I think I'm going to watch Wimbledon first.
Thank you.
I know the answer, of course, At my age, there are very few questions pertinent to my life that haven't already been answered. Remembering the answers is not the Catch-22...remembering is on God, according to me. It's choosing to use the right answers...to do the right thing...to really and truly not be as nasty as I want to be (a favorite phrase but my pulling it off can be a tish dicey at times).
And I did it yesterday. I gave over to another (who, may I say and I wish I wouldn't, deserved a boatload of nasty). But I did. I did give over and graciously if I do say so myself.
Here's the dunk in the ice water: I don't feel all that wonderful about it. I don't have that well-earned gold star feeling. In fact, I strongly suspect the problem is that he thinks he got over on me! There. And nobody has to guess what that's all about. I know ego when it spits in my eye.
I open one of my morning readings, and here's Meister Eckhart, dead these 600 some years, speaking directly to me: Some people want to see God with their eyes as they see a cow, and to love Him as they love their cow -- for the milk and cheese and profit it brings them. This is how it is with people who love God for the sake of outward wealth or inward comfort.
It's that "inward comfort" that trips me every time. I guess I'd best take my comfort in the fact that it could be worse...I could be utterly unaware of where I need look to fix my problem. But I think I'm going to watch Wimbledon first.
Thank you.
Friday, July 3, 2015
GOD DOESN'T MAKE SENSE
It is so easy to justify fear. Fear of having no say in our final demise. Or fear of financial insecurity. Or fear of a lone-wolf terrorist attack...the list is endless. Because fear is endless if fear is where we choose to live. We do have a choice...we can feel fear (and, if we're doing it right, we will) and welcome it, knowing God has our back; or we can feel fear, panic, and not welcome but fight it...and sink deeper into it.
The God of my understanding...a personal omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent power of and for good...either is or is not. If he is not all of that, he is nothing. My God does not come in pieces. Or to pieces.
I'm reminding myself of this because recently I've talked with two very intelligent people, for whom I have deep respect and love, both of whom are advocating for assisted suicide. Which is my quandary right now.
It's like my budget on paper. On paper, I should be able to save...period; but, in reality, a whole 'nother story. Assisted suicide in talks makes abundant sense, and I'm well nigh accepting the idea...but, wait. What about the God of my understanding which has my back...which IS my back? What about that?
I was feeling half way good about myself because I am only conscious of one on-going trepidation...having no say in my final demise. (I'll know I've walked through it when I quit calling it trepidation and call if fear, pure and simple.)
To get to the other side of that, I picture myself in my worst-case scenario...strapped down in a hospital, almost but not quite unconscious but unable to speak, and the medics not knowing of, or simply ignoring, all the written instructions to pull the plug, no extraordinary nuthin', let me go and now. I take that picture to the outside of enough...set my own hair on fire with fear.
Then I picture God in his infinite way lifting me out of there. Could be by a medic unknowingly tripping and pulling the plug or the electricity going out in my room, whatever. Makes no never mind...God will prevail for the best for me if I will but trust him.
The trick is to not decide for an alternative to God's will because the reasoning mind always goes for the alternative, i.e., its own answer...because it makes sense! God doesn't make sense...he makes miracles.
Thank you.
The God of my understanding...a personal omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent power of and for good...either is or is not. If he is not all of that, he is nothing. My God does not come in pieces. Or to pieces.
I'm reminding myself of this because recently I've talked with two very intelligent people, for whom I have deep respect and love, both of whom are advocating for assisted suicide. Which is my quandary right now.
It's like my budget on paper. On paper, I should be able to save...period; but, in reality, a whole 'nother story. Assisted suicide in talks makes abundant sense, and I'm well nigh accepting the idea...but, wait. What about the God of my understanding which has my back...which IS my back? What about that?
I was feeling half way good about myself because I am only conscious of one on-going trepidation...having no say in my final demise. (I'll know I've walked through it when I quit calling it trepidation and call if fear, pure and simple.)
To get to the other side of that, I picture myself in my worst-case scenario...strapped down in a hospital, almost but not quite unconscious but unable to speak, and the medics not knowing of, or simply ignoring, all the written instructions to pull the plug, no extraordinary nuthin', let me go and now. I take that picture to the outside of enough...set my own hair on fire with fear.
Then I picture God in his infinite way lifting me out of there. Could be by a medic unknowingly tripping and pulling the plug or the electricity going out in my room, whatever. Makes no never mind...God will prevail for the best for me if I will but trust him.
The trick is to not decide for an alternative to God's will because the reasoning mind always goes for the alternative, i.e., its own answer...because it makes sense! God doesn't make sense...he makes miracles.
Thank you.
Thursday, July 2, 2015
A NEW PATH OF POSSIBILITY
I'm running on empty. I blame the dreary day...the dark clouds, heavy air, threat of rain, more rain, and yet more rain. I feel water-logged...and sleepy.
This is when judgments start to spring forth, feeling like wisdom, sounding like insider information. They are not. They are dissatisfaction with self, too lazy to take heed and do the minimal footwork required to change my mind. Brain work actually. Then when I work myself down to a sniveling shadow, my first thought will be, "Why, Lord?" It's a good thing the Lord is patience. And love. And understanding.
There's my bright spot. I don't have to gin up happy, joyous and free. God's got it covered...within me, without me. God's got it covered whether I'm happy or not...and I just got a tish happier being reminded of that. So I'm heading in the right direction. Which is close enough to perfect for me.
Just plug in...get happy, sing hallelujah. A whole new path of possibility has just opened for my day.
Thank you.
This is when judgments start to spring forth, feeling like wisdom, sounding like insider information. They are not. They are dissatisfaction with self, too lazy to take heed and do the minimal footwork required to change my mind. Brain work actually. Then when I work myself down to a sniveling shadow, my first thought will be, "Why, Lord?" It's a good thing the Lord is patience. And love. And understanding.
There's my bright spot. I don't have to gin up happy, joyous and free. God's got it covered...within me, without me. God's got it covered whether I'm happy or not...and I just got a tish happier being reminded of that. So I'm heading in the right direction. Which is close enough to perfect for me.
Just plug in...get happy, sing hallelujah. A whole new path of possibility has just opened for my day.
Thank you.
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
BE PATIENT...LOVE AND LAUGH
Be patient. The path of self-discipline that leads to God-realization is not an easy path; obstacles and suffering are on the path; the latter you must bear, and the former overcome -- all by His help. His help comes only through concentration. -- Swami Ramdas
There. That very quote is evidence of God's help.
I just finished journaling about being off track, looking for a fight and calling it love...as in, s/he needs to know, etc. The good news is I have learned (the hard way) to not say that which "s/he needs to know." But my ego cares not a rap what my experience tells me...it's riding herd and sweating bullets (so to speak) and justifying its want-to as love, more specifically, that wonderful justifier, "tough love." What I need is to use some of that tough love on myself.
And, hey! What is tough love but learning to love and laugh.
The tough love I had in mind for him? Love him...he's not and never will be mine to fix...if, indeed, he needs fixing. For her? Laugh at myself for entertaining the idea that she would be better for my saying anything...with love or not. For me? Love me for taking myself too seriously and laugh at how simple God makes my life if I'll just, to quote Ramdas, "Be patient."
Thank you.
There. That very quote is evidence of God's help.
I just finished journaling about being off track, looking for a fight and calling it love...as in, s/he needs to know, etc. The good news is I have learned (the hard way) to not say that which "s/he needs to know." But my ego cares not a rap what my experience tells me...it's riding herd and sweating bullets (so to speak) and justifying its want-to as love, more specifically, that wonderful justifier, "tough love." What I need is to use some of that tough love on myself.
And, hey! What is tough love but learning to love and laugh.
The tough love I had in mind for him? Love him...he's not and never will be mine to fix...if, indeed, he needs fixing. For her? Laugh at myself for entertaining the idea that she would be better for my saying anything...with love or not. For me? Love me for taking myself too seriously and laugh at how simple God makes my life if I'll just, to quote Ramdas, "Be patient."
Thank you.
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