Morning blinding flash of the obvious: Fear not our snarky thoughts for they are leading us to God...that's their purpose. [I note in my "God Calling" that I've been purposefully watching my thoughts since 2003 yet just yesterday I wrote that I have just begun...this kiddygarten dark night of my soul is paying off...if I pay attention.]
Which thoughts cause me to ponder: When we humbling ask to be relieved of a defect of character, doesn't it often feel as if that very defect grows larger, comes on stronger?
What if that's not a feeling, but a fact?
I suspect that is the nut of still more spiritual growth...the stay-the-course core. The road becomes narrower, the way harder when we seek to be stripped of our egoic mind, the home of our self-determined objectives.
To realize the limits to our reasoning mind, we must experience those limits. The imaginable effects of praying for a defect to be lifted lies in the word lifted. That's as far as ego finds it necessary to go...lift it and be done is ego's prayer.
Ah, but our spiritual growth is on the job. First, it clarifies how our self-driven defect harms not only ourself but unintentionally hurts innocent others; and second, it proves how often the opposite of our want and our will is our need or God's will.
How else but by fully experiencing can we realize the unintended consequences that our defect causes? How else can we be entirely ready to have it lifted by grace and by God?
With complete trust in our spiritual growth, we fear not the ego-pain the lifting of our defects of character seems to bring. That is leading us to God, thus fulfilling its sole purpose.
God loves us so much.
Thank you.
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