Blinding flash of the obvious at bedtime last night: My block with my sister is not that I can't forgive her. It is that I am embarrassed that I could love her and speak to others of loving her when she has been and continues to be so rude, disrespectful and hateful to me. Others would think I was nuts to accept her...admit to loving her no less...when they have heard of her many mean and hurtful remarks and actions.
Some BFOs are more welcome than others. This one is an "Oh, rats!"
That last part of the last line is the teller of the tale: "...when they have heard of her many mean and hurtful remarks and actions."
None of my friends have ever met my sister in the walking-around flesh, sooo...who has told them of her "many mean and hurtful remarks and actions?"
That would be me.
This after I've preached many a sermon ("shared") about the danger of slinging mud at others for it will invariably find its way home to our own face.
Well, turning my rats into raves, I do feel a new peace in my heart toward my sister. I can love her without that nagging mental question, "What is wrong with me?," rolling around in my head. The best part is I know that just because I've realized I can love my sister freely does not mean that she now loves me equally. I have no reason to believe that her feelings have changed, and mine haven't changed...mine have just been clarified. Hey, that's close enough to perfect for me.
Thank you.
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