Perfectionism discourages honest self-knowledge and basic humility, which are foundational to spiritual and psychological growth. It has made basic social tranquility a largely unachievable goal. Grandiose people cannot create peace. -- Fr Richard Rohr, "Daily Meditation," July 20, 2016
Perfectionism is tricky. I've never viewed myself as a perfectionist so imagine my surprise when I learned that self-doubt is the gateway to perfectionism. And the deeper the doubt, the wider the gate swings. We can know we are going away from God toward our own idea of perfection when no matter what we do or how we do it, our ego's response is to wring hands and wail, "How stupid can you be? What is WRONG with you? Will you ever get anything right?"
My self-doubt has been transmuted...mainly. Today when Lucy commences nattering about my stupidity, I have choices...I can agree with her and laugh, I can agree with her and shrug. Either choice is a turn to God.
What I don't do is: I don't disagree, push back, feel hopeless "after all these years." I don't resist my inner natterings in any way. Especially since I learned that is grandiosity aborning.
It was a comfort to learn that Lucy's harangues can be transmuted repeatedly, and it was particularly comforting to find that they are transmuted into self-acceptance. All we need do is change our mind. The spiritual discipline we're learning, to say "thank you" is to change our mind, is invaluable here because it's short, it's easy, and it works.
The quickest way I've found to change my mind is to thank God for his love which is mine now...and yours.
God is love...and so are we. Perfect.
Thank you.
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