More and more it is seeming to me that you must go beyond reason to love is our direct link out of self.
When we find our self resisting...and naming it you...we need to "go beyond reason" and recall that anything we receive from anyone is our own, not the other's. The minute we are negatively conscious of a remark, an attitude, a feeling...it is ours, we own it, the other's ownership has already transferred.
Here's the dividing line for receiving negative anything: (a) I know that I can accept this as my angel in disguise as opposed to your contempt or envy or hate or.... It is my choice how I choose to receive it, to hold it, to let it color my return feelings; OR (b) I'm neither stupid nor a patsy...I know what you meant by that look, that oh-so-innocent remark, that attitude, and I'd be a fool to take it.
Ah, but just because we are fully aware that it is our choice that will determine our walking around self for the day...or week...doesn't make the choice a cinch. It just proves the point that self-knowledge avails us nothing...nothing, that is, if we stay in self.
We must go beyond reason to love. Love is not a reasonable choice when we're met with our own idea of incoming ugly. That's what brings on that feeling that we're arm-wrestling with God... we know acceptance is the right answer, but contempt feels so good...so justified. And just shooting off one little snark....
Surrendering our feeling of self-centered justification (I won!) for the freedom from self (ah, we agree) cannot be transferred for use later...it's hard enough to remember it is not a matter of settling for, but a matter of being raised up...it must be lived daily. Now.
Thank you.
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