THE PROOF IS IN OUR ACTIONS

The Father knows our needs.

I repeat that often and often and often. I know it...sometimes maybe only from my eyebrows up do I know it, but then on that rare occasion I know it...ah, then it feels imbued in me.

Which is causing me pause today. This month of May, I am having house guests up the gump-stump, and I am not a house-guest-welcoming person. I quickly add, my past experience is that after a guest is here, we've had a wonderful time bonding, and they are on their way gone, my heart hurts that they are not staying longer, moving in with me, living here!

Note that I say "after" a guest is here.... I have never had a guest come, leave, a couple days later, a guest comes and leaves, a couple days later, a guest...really, that is what it has been. It came to me that my Father (who is now playing pitch-pull with Ruckus in Heaven) had preplanned for this because he knew I would be feeling alone and so lonely without my little boy. I have been thanking him daily for knowing my need.

How-some-ever.

My Father knowing my needs and my knowing my needs are two entirely different matters. My wants, what I am used to, what feels right to me...that and those are what I must detach from. That detachment is the foundation we stand on for the change that is required for us to begin and to continue our quest for still more spiritual growth.

This, apparently, is my need: I never have experienced the "rest of the story," as in, as guests leave, feeling like I want them to stay forever, then resisting another's immediate entrance. I realize this is the way to the change I have ever sought...the change in me from loner to lover.

And both of those terms tell their own mistaken story...loner sounds pejorative and lover sounds sensual. Neither tell the underlying story, and it is not until I am clear myself about the underlying story will I be ready for the change I seek...left to my own thinking, I'd never be ready because the change is uncomfortable. But I suspect that is exactly why my Father is sending all my beloveds in a cluster...he knows my needs.

I recognize that it has been a long time since I've thought of loner as pejorative or lover as only sensual...but I've only made the change in my mind. I am being presented this month with my God-gift of change and my ego thoughts of resistance. As is ever the case, it is in my actions that the proof will show forth. And my actions have all been Go!

Oh, and just think...it is through my little guy's moving on up that I'm...moving on up! Thank you, Ruck-a-roonie.

Thank you.