The desire to go against selfish desires is the surest sign of grace. -- Eknath Easwaran, "Words to Live By," May 2
It fills me with awe (a.k.a., love and laughter) how I can doubt good news before conscious thought ever takes hold. For instance, I consider Easwaran's statement to be really good news, but I read that and the first words out of my mouth? "Oh, I doubt that."
We must still first our mouth, then our thoughts...or I do. There are mornings I get out of bed with my mouth flapping, long before my brain has attached enough to even sort out my thoughts. Knowing that usually silences me, and that's the fruit from the tree of discipline.
Here's my definition of discipline: Try, fail, try again, fail, try, try again, fall back a step, make self available, feel a slight upward movement, realize we're heading in the right direction, continue making self available, and lo! One fine day our center has moved a centimeter. Then repeat daily till three days after we're dead.
To put our discipline to best use, we must first make a decision, as in we must name our single goal for all that discipline. For starters, that could be Easwaran's desire to go against selfish desires.
My goal to divorce myself from my own opinions came with the blinding flash of the obvious: It is not by my thoughts or my words that my uglies are set straight, but by Your thought/words...but it is mine to speak Your words...in Your time as You flow through me into fruition.
Thank you.
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