CLOSER THAN THE AIR WE BREATHE

For it is in self forgetting that one finds.... (from the Prayer of St. Francis)

That is it...the hidden-in-the-open clue to a still more spiritual life. Self forgetting. Which, of course, cannot be done by our trying to forget self...that just keeps self in the forefront, playing blame and shame louder and louder.

A line I read just this morning fits this situation to a T: From Fr. Richard Rohr quoting Barbara Holmes’ book Joy Unspeakable: Contemplative Practices of the Black Church: "When you know that you are 'between a rock and a hard place,' then you must respond creatively to the situation."

My questions: Is to respond creatively, to rely on our free will? Does God work thru our free will to lead us out from our own self? Is that the divine purpose of free will? Is that why he gifted us with free will?

It is in self forgetting that one finds, so we will our self to sit in the silence...to sit and wait on the Lord. Originally, it is our will that keeps us there...and it takes as long as it takes. For me, this is when I learned to use my will to think of anything but trying to forget self, and I found my go-to: Lilies of the valley. And trying to catch their scent. Trust me...it requires all my will to hold that focus.

Since what it is we are to find is not defined, we often start with peace of mind. We get there (or as close as we're going to get) when we hit whatever. It is in our preoccupation with discovering to our satisfaction what it is we are to find that we learn that is what we need to release! How convoluted is that?

According to me, that is the very nature of God Itself...convoluted, mysterious, undefinable, invisible and closer than the air we breathe.

There. That is what our will freely bows to...over and over and over again...with love and laughter.

Thank you.