ON MATURE SPIRITUAL GROWTH, 1

[The following is a reprint of my post of May 30, 2016.]

The ego gets what it wants with words. The soul finds what it needs in silence. -- Fr. Richard Rohr

There it is: The essence of our reasoning mind's resistance to powerlessness. Our ego's path out is through our reasoning mind; our soul has no path...in its transparence, it flows freely, cannot be cornered or captured...it is. It simply is.

We often hear that mature spiritual growth is all about detaching. Letting go of our self-perceived needs...embracing our self-perceived lack. When we are no longer talking that but are, in fact and without thought, doing that...we will know mature spiritual growth. And heading in the right direction counts.

Thank you.

LET THE DEVIL TAKE THE HINDMOST

One of the great surprises on the human journey is that we come to full consciousness precisely by shadowboxing, facing our own contradictions, and making friends with our own mistakes and failings - Fr Richard's Daily Meditations, May 30, 2025

Since April 30th at 3:00 AM, my journey has felt rugged, rocky, scary, with the question is this self-will or God's will playing constantly in my thoughts. 

Not knowing, and knowing I do not know, and becoming open to that as my new way of life has been really scary...and yet, thank You, God, I have continued walking forward...toward that which has been my Light for some 50 years

By that Light, I am assured that I am on good ground...hunkered down with the God of my own understanding and Jesus, Mary and Joseph (emphasis on Joseph). 

I accept that I'm not fear-free and likely never will be, but this is the new Way I get to walk which I've suspected, and even talked about, since I turned 80.

I'm good to go...all the while my reasoning mind is nattering, wait, this may be X, Y and/or Z, none right, all scary. I let it natter. Shaking like a leaf in a high wind, I move forward...toward God, with God.

 

Let the devil take the hindmost...as my grandma used to say. 

Thank you.

UNKNOWINGLY LIVING GOD'S WILL, GOD'S WAY

Blinding flash of the obvious: I am living today my still more spiritual growth by the fear I am experiencing...neither attempting to avoid the fear, nor praying for it to just go away.

A therapist was recommended to me, and I had my appointment with him yesterday. In my mind, we were to discuss the possibility of the onset of dementia...or my fear of that. He did not get that message, and we discussed my past and how I got where I am today which he diagnosed as just fine and canceled the scheduled next three appointments. 

BUT...we only got to my fear of dementia in the last 30 minutes. I told him of my two examples of total mind blanks which happened months apart. He flat out named those as old-age forgetfulness but recommended a medicine for sharpening the brain in old age. I intend to get it and use it.

Since I consciously did not direct that session, I accept that I am being led by God's will, God's way. I am experiencing the difference between God's will being done through me and my self-determined objectives being done by me. I am not self-determining, maybe holding back in fear of that...with that, too, being God's will, God's way.

In living in this newer consciousness today, I realize I have been here far longer than I have allowed me to believe...again, God's will, God's way and for my benefit.

Thank you.

'TWAS GRACE THAT TAUGHT MY HEART TO FEAR

[The following is a reprint of my post of May 27, 2017}

Morning blinding flash of the obvious: We must become un-selfed. We cannot un-self our self. We are un-selfed by grace.

Hmmm. I wonder if inadvertently un-selfing our self, i.e., those moments when we show our butt in public, count Up There in the great beyond...or if they are just ego-worms for our always a-quart-low humility.

If that is all they are, ego-worms, then that, too, is our gold for who's kidding whom?...if we think we can say about humility, "I have enough, thank you," then we're lying blind. Clueless in a word.

I was reminded recently of a time nearly 35 years ago when I was publicly picking up a small medal for eleven years of service with my fellowship. I was talking with a lady who was very new to the fellowship, and she noted as I held the medal that my hands were shaking. I was less than happy because to my mind shaking hands detracted from my looking good for eleven years of service.

As mentioned, I was reminded of that recently, and I was reminded of it by that very same lady who has been around now for 35 years. We realized together that my shaking hands...showing scared...at eleven years gave her permission to be as scared as she was at one year, and we were both warmed and awed by that.

My fear was precisely the gift she needed, that very fear that I would have traded in a heartbeat in order to look hip, slick and cool, i.e., phony. There. I was un-selfed by grace; my friend was reassured by grace, and that grace was made manifest by fear...hers and mine.

We have laughed about the incident over the years, but it took all of the 35 years for us to tie the bow on it. It's a wonderful thing that the bow will continue to be tied as we open our mind and memory to other ego-worms in order for the gold to show forth there.

Thank you.

FEAR...ANOTHER OF GOD'S PRICELESS GIFTS

I am living through reasoning mind's scary time right now...a personally scary time. I believe I have already made the turn, heading up now be it ever so slowly...thank You.

It's all about living and breathing God's will, God's way which is to say moving behind reason to attain spiritual. And re-re-realizing...our thinking cannot get us there. 

And still we ponder. 

Blinding flash of the obvious: Spiritual growth is so slow, such tiny steps, that it is nigh impossible to realize it until long after we got it. 

All my efforts were useless yet priceless...without effort we stay stuck, with effort we get stuck deeper. 

Being stuck in hopeless, helpless and pea-green purple petrified brought the dawn of realization: Doing it wrong materially headed us in the right direction spiritually...to enable us to hear God calling.

Feel the fear and do it anyway. - Anonymous (and priceless)

Thank you.

GOD WILL FLOW FORTH, I

{The following is a reprint of my post of December 18, 2014.]

Trying too hard to "get it" is as detrimental to spiritual growth as dismissing it all as happy talk. Mainly because we can't "get" spiritual growth. Seeking to get is the ego-victory mind determining and dictating. 

As long as that is the case, we will be seeking our wants...dressed up pretty with a lot of spiritual-sounding words, but still, they will be wants.

Wants are of the ego, needs are of God.

We have within, at our core, the Spirit...God. If we are seeking still more spiritual growth, our need is to detach from our reasoning mind, go to our center, and open our heart, our mind, our Soul. God will flow forth...in Its own good time.

According to me.

Thank you.

GRATITUDE IS SPIRITUAL GROWTH

We have ceased fighting everything and everybody. -- Anonymous

Previous paradoxical lesson, which I am relearning today: Our worst fear is our greatest friend...when we fight it, we lose. 

It is in losing that God-power is opened to us...powerless and defeated, we are unknowingly already on the rise by grace and by God. 

In the rising, gratitude, thank You, is released and becomes our forever go-to.

Thank you.