GOD AND I HAVE MET THIS FEAR & CAN AGAIN

God looks for us when our lostness is so convoluted and so profound, we can’t even pretend to look for God. But even in such bleak and hopeless places, God finds us. This is amazing grace. And it is ours. —Debie Thomas, Daily Meditation, November 30, 2024 

That describes me this morning at my 3:00 dark night of my soul... deciding/questioning/ deciding/ questioning..."go to VHC ER later? Stay home to pray and meditate?" 

At 5:40 AM I read today's God Calling...talk about a direct answer: 

The Eternal God is thy refuge. - Deut. xxxiii.27: A place to flee to, a sanctuary. An escape...from yourself....from yourself whither can you flee? To the Eternal God your refuge. *** Till in His immensity you forget your...limitations. *** Till the relief of safety merges into Joy...of your refuge, and you absorb the Divine and absorbing gain strength to conquer.

That IS a direct answer from Almighty God. 

Yet my next thought is, I believe, oh Lord, help me my unbelief. 

It isn't that I don't believe, it is that I fear my own belief. "Is it odd or is it God?" plays with my mind. 

There's my problem...I dare not allow the God of my understanding to be all I need. I want it, I want that, but I fear that is me trying to take the easy way out.

Easy? Easy way out? Whoa! 

Going to ER, getting all manner of medical-material help is good, or not bad, helpful even, but that is just staying with the reasoning-mind way, when I know I need to trust God's will, God's way.

I have made the turn and now need to step out in my belief.

I know that the heart-pounding anxiety can come again...what then? Lord, hear my prayer, Thank You. 

I trust our Father's lead Now, and I follow. 

Thank you. 

THANK YOU IS THE COSMIC LINK, I

[The following is a reprint of my post of November 28, 2017.]

Life is comprised of "Uh-ohs" and "Oh wows!" (Not to mention, "Ho-hums.")

It's the uh-ohs in life that turn out to be our pearls...they are what teach us to view down as up. When what we're perceiving looks less than wonderful and has a hurt about it that causes us pause, we come to inside-know, this, too, is of God.

Our problem in getting through these storms with our God-belief intact is that we tend to hold to our belief in our own idea of what God needs to do in order for our perceived problem to be fixed.

When we hold to our idea of what fixing our problem means, self-convinced our want must be "God's will," our worst fear often comes true, i.e., we don't get our want. So we give up believing in God.

To believe as we breathe in a loving God who can and will intervene in our life on our behalf is to, first, stay focused on Now which is perfect Now; second, accept whatever is appearing as God's will for us; third, do our best with what we are given...and our best is a heartfelt "thank you." Good or not so good, our thank you will suffice.

Ah, and there's our gift: Our thank you is the cosmic link to that which goes before us to make the crooked places straight.

Thank you.

GOD HAS US IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND

With God all things are possible. -- Matthew 19:26

As I was in my quiet time this morning, the thought flashed that through conscious contact with the Father within, God, it is possible to have Lewy Body Dementia and not show it at all, not be aware of it at all. 

I recall reading about this happening a while back. Not the conscious contact with God part but the not knowing or showing it part was proved through an autopsy of a person who it was discovered had had dementia and showed no signs of it in their walking-around life.

I do not recall if it was Lewy Body but I try not to be overly scrupulous. Face it, scrupulosity is just nit-picking in fancy dress.

Actually, I'm thinking this is the proof positive we get that assures us God is on the field, has our back...the proof positive being our peace'd mind. 

It is not freedom from dementia or from any other fear we may have...that which we fear may be the fact we need to walk through to get to our Father within. It is the peace of mind we get while we walk our path that is of God.

Do your thing, fear! God has us in the palm of his hand, and I am grateful on this Thanksgiving Day of 2024.

Thank you.

TO OFFER A HEART GIFT IS LOVE

Blinding flash of the obvious: To offer love costs me nothing and makes the other richer.

To offer may be the first step in showing love. Without thought, to offer a helping hand, forgiveness, a silent prayer...a heart gift in fact. 

Sometimes the better part of common sense tells us to wait, get self out of the mix to let God's will, God's way do Its walkabout, and that's a good thing, too. That's common sense working with God for the good of all.

I had a BFO this morning that no doubt was born of my yesterday's God experience. I had plans with a friend to do Thanksgiving dinner at a nice restaurant..."had plans." I have no idea why but my friend had to cancel those plans. I received the news with no snarky thought or word...ah, but then I had time to think it over. Comes the snark...the I shoulda said, or I know what I'll say to her, etc.  

I was primed for bear as my grandma used to say. Yet when my friend called yesterday, all thought of pay-back, retribution, setting her straight was gone...I felt nothing but happy to talk with her, get on with our lives, in short. Note miracle: I did not realize it as it was happening.

Later as I was preparing for bed, it occurred to me that I hadn't "set her straight," that it had not occurred to me. I knew I was living a prime example of Material Mind vs. Spiritual Mind, and that Spiritual Mind had won this one. 

Best part...I have no lingering regrets, no afterburner thoughts...only thank you and God loves us sooo much. 

It is important for me to note (in black and white) that I had no preplanning idea of showing love...I did have more than a little preplanning thoughts about how I wanted to let her know how she had ruined my Thanksgiving, etc.  And it wasn't right. Not to mention, not fair. None of which entered my consciousness when she called, and I answered the phone...with nothing but pleased to hear from her.

Better yet...I honestly did not remember being ticked off at her until I was going to bed and an aside thought slipped in...and caused me to smile as I thanked God not only for this act of love but for the fact that it was done without thought. There's my proof positive...I am on the right track, heading in the right direction. Living God's will, God's way. 

Now to continue...slip sliding, forgetting, remembering to make my amends when, not if, I forget, etc. That's living right in the neighborhood!

Thank you.

COMES NOW FEAR...THANK YOU WELCOMES IT

I went to bed last night with an overwhelming...almost retching...fear of dementia. Of dementia being here in me now. I found release by welcoming it. While I slept, my fear of dementia became God's tool to use to lift my fear-based material mind to the higher consciousness of love-based spiritual mind. 

Welcoming with thank you really does alleviate fear...actually, raises our consciousness spiritually to the place where peace resides. Where fear is transmuted by grace. 

Meister Eckhart's quote comes to mind again: If the only prayer you ever say in your lifetime is thank you, that would suffice.

A note for me: Welcoming with thank you does not eliminate that which we fear, mine being dementia. No, if dementia is mine, my path to bring me to God consciousness, I'm good with it...at 7:00 AM. 

Also, being "good with" any dreaded possible does not mean happy about it. If it is "our cross to bear," the necessary that brings us into God consciousness, so be it for this is where the peace that passes understanding lives.

I have thought for some time now that I am at the crossover stage in consciousness...being raised into God consciousness with both my feet dragging but desire in my heart, soul, body and brain. Dementia may be my pony to ride...I might as well admit to my worse fear: Lewy Body Dementia.

Comes now a new thought: Hidden in my material mind may be worse than Lewy Body Dementia. I best quit unconsciously bargaining and welcome God's will, God's way...and Now I do.

Thank you.

ON NEEDING NOTHING BUT FAITH...THANK YOU

Matthew’s Gospel contains the parable of the wedding banquet (Matthew 22:1–14): Jesus is always undercutting what we think is common sense. This passage calls us to nondual thinking and to change our entire form of consciousness. -- Fr Richard Rohr, Daily Meditation, November 25, 2014

I wrote in my journal at 5:30 this morning: I have just read in Easwaran a new possibility...my fearful certainty of dementia may be rather my consciousness raised...'diving into the murky waters of consciousness' brought on by 'the haunting fear' that 'we may lose everything'  [specifically, my mind]. Lord, hear my prayer...Thank You...Amen.

I have a blinding flash aborning: Living in the material world with our consciousness being lifted causes fear of the unknown because it is unknown. Trust...that's how we earn trust. The unknown must be welcomed through our fear...Thy will, Thy way is always for our benefit whether we realize it or not. That's faith on the hoof. I can let dementia be a fact in my life, if that be Thy will, and not be adversely affected by it [i.e., afraid] but be blessed by it. Faith turns me ever closer to conscious contact with the God of my own understanding...ah, one'd.

An old adage: Knowing nothing, I speak freely. A new promise: Living in faith, I need nothing more.

Thank you.

ANONYMOUSLY...SPIRITUALLY...WOOF

All through the Gospels, people receive what they don’t deserve. Relentless generosity is hard for us to comprehend, much less practice. That kind of unconditional justice is beyond our human power. Yet the Gospel is showing that it’s possible *** to be fully human and divinely just, because we live in the power of the Spirit. -- Fr Richard Rohr, Daily Meditation, November 24, 2024  

Sunday 5:30 AM - Blinding flash of the obvious: What if dementia is my unconditional justice, a preordained fact of life? 

My mind has ever been my egoic safety net. Whether I knew it or not, working free from that attachment has been my spiritual gift...ah, dementia may be the cherry on top, the unconditional justice. 

The idea of forming an anonymous group of us to spiritually live with dementia may be God's will for us. We pass it on anonymously...akin to the priest with the lepers. 

I am doubly grateful to realize again God's grace in fear...fear turned my mind from the dread of dementia to the gift of dementia...joining, sharing, serving God without intention...kinda like a side bennie.  

The kicker: I don't even know if I have actual dementia or simply the fear of it...either qualify as God's unconditional justice so gratitude fits like a warm puppy feels.

Thy will, Thy way. 

Thank you.