SIT AND WAIT IN TRUST

Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me.... -- The 23rd Psalm

An unformed thought has been floating around in my mind for sometime now. It coalesced this morning: Yea though I walk through the valley all alone, unloved, unneeded, unwanted and unappreciated...the fool, I fear not for thou art with me.

That came about from a mental conversation I was having with the generic Gertrude which ended with: "It's not that I regret saying such, the pity is that you took personally what you heard me say, and I accepted your personal affront as my fault."

Not to bang my drum too loudly, but that's bloody brilliant. 

Over the banging of my drum came William James words, Genius means little more than the faculty of perceiving in an inhabitual way, followed by "inhabitual way" is God at work. 

Back from my ego trip, I ponder, underneath it all, what does my Gertrude conversation mean to me? Her taking personally what she heard is on her and not for me to fix or to judge. 

My acceptance of another's affront as my fault, even though unknowingly and unintended, is my sliver of gold. There is the root of self-deception...that my words have import outside their meaning. Or, that my words have more import than they can possibly carry. 

Spiritually, that might be the mentality of the good Samaritan aborning; materially, ego-driven. Probably mix and match which goes against my scrupulous grain but that too is spiritual growth. Or I'm calling it that.

With no clear-cut idea of how it was to come about, this past year I have thought, even written, that my mouth needs to take a backseat to my ears. 

Today, I've got a glimmer: Sit and wait on the Lord...and trust.

Ah, hallelujah, plain and simple...I never doubted that  God loves me.  

  

Thank you.

GOD WITH US...ALWAYS AND ALL WAYS

Today, January 6, 2022,  is the first anniversary of the day a mob of supporters of then-President Donald Trump attacked the United States Capitol in Washington, D.C. 

That fact and act has flashed on and off in my mind nearly every day since that day a year ago...me, wanting to respond in kind yet seeking to feel forgiveness. 

I awoke this morning to the anniversary news which let me know this will be the news all day.  

As I stumbled toward my coffee with insurrection looking for its right to be heard, resist not evil edged in. 

First thought...oh well, rats. Because...how?

Second thought...it seems that every day this past year, resist not evil has been present to me...in thought, word or trying-to deed.

Now here it is in relation to an insurrection against the United States of America instigated by a sitting President of the United States of America. 

We note I'm building my case...yet I'm convinced that's what makes God smile. He knows that's the very thinking needed to turn our thinking around...away from my will toward Thy will, from me to He...or She or It, if you will. To God. Period.

The acceptance of resist not evil brings the question: How? 

Comes the answer with all but flashing lights: Love. Resist not evil...love.

The acceptance of resist not evil...love brings the question: How? 

I'm convinced the answer is what felled the walls of Jericho...not by might, not by winning the battle but by ceding self to the Divine ever-present power of love. We turn kind and loving thoughts to anyone in need of kind and loving thoughts. The hungry, the downtrodden...the tyrant? The gazillionaire? Uh-oh. 

We defeat our purpose when we try sending self-determined love to anyone...Donald J. Trump, his people, the generic Gertrude, any one. Not through self-will but through God's will, grace, we accept them within our own self for our own need. Our own need to love. Which then becomes available to whomever as and when needed. 

Apparently "How?" is what grace is for.  

Oh my...as I was winding this up, I mishit a key, and this saved-file of mine came on screen:

Since victory and defeat there must be, the victory to be philosophically prayed for is that of the more inclusive side, - of the side which even in the hour of triumph will to some degree do justice to the ideal in which the vanquished party’s interests lay.

The course of history is nothing but the story of men’s struggles from generation to generation to find the more and more inclusive order.

Invent some manner of realizing your own ideals which will also satisfy the [other's] demands, - that and that only is the path of peace!

From "The Varieties of Religious Experience" by William James (1842-1910)

Don't tell me God isn't working with us...always and all ways.

Thank you.

THE UNFATHOMABLE IS OUR SPIRITUAL GOLD

Those seeking to know God's will in order to do God's will...to think, walk and talk God's will...when they succeed often appear to be the loser. Or as Father Richard Rohr puts it, Their altruism is hard to understand by almost any psychological definition of the human person.

There comes a time when the psychological answer, albeit soothing to the reasoning mind, is unaligned with God's will. Psychologically, we're in it to win it; spiritually, everybody comes out the winner.

We find that a trusted friend (or a mental enemy, who almost invariably is an angel in disguise) is particularly necessary when trudging our road of happy destiny. Not someone to glibly unload our stuff on, but someone to accept the gift of our trust as we share with them. Ah, the transmutation of our garbage to gold. 

On the way out of self, then, is the holy sharing with a trusted friend of our shame- and-blame thinking. We have learned (too often) that when we simply "unload," we dump that load within, holding it to grow deeper. 

Comes again Fr Richard: I wonder if the only way to spiritually hold suffering—and not let it destroy us—is to recognize that we cannot do it alone. *** Shared struggle somehow makes us one—in a way that easy comfort and entertainment never can.

The Father and I and you are One...pets, too. 

Thank you.

FORGIVENESS...LOOSE IT AND LET IT GO

Our proof to our own self that we have turned our will and our life over to the care of God is in forgiveness. 

Forgiveness is not forgiveness unless it flows from us without our will attached. We can smile, feel "want to" and make nice-nice while dancing on the head of a pin...and be no closer to forgiveness than we were when first we were gifted with the need to forgive.  

We can, and usually do, call all that forgiveness, but it is not, it is jive. Our heart knows. Our soul knows. Our Father knows. And our Father knows jive when we're dishing it. 

What our heart and our soul know is that we have built a forgiveness look-alike, but the need, the reason for forgiving, is still an ache in our gut. 

Here it is...Enlightenment 101:  All on our own, we are powerless to forgive. 

We must shuck our shields and cry for help for our own self. That cry unites us with the person whose name is on our pain...and forgiveness flows out from within.

Loose it and let it go.

Thank you.

SPIRITUAL TRUTH IS COUNTERINTUITIVE

When we allow ourselves to be perfectly received, totally gazed upon by the One who knows everything and receives everything, we are indestructible. -- Fr Richard Rohr, "Daily Meditation," January 3, 2022

Knowing God is the One, just suppose that One is the person with whom we are sharing and/or resisting in the moment. Having a friend one can trust utterly is essential for the time when grace lifts our selfed protection, with Self waiting to enwrap the whole of us in love and laughter.

 

The surprise is that we must speak out loud the me that is mired in ego, covered over by fear of and for self. Our reasoning mind and our friend's intention of helping by redirecting us away from ourself blocks the flow of the me-ness that can only die by being birthed...not by silencing it, by speaking it.

The secret is in realizing by experiencing our very me-ness...we held our nose and took a leap of faith a long time ago. We have been caught, loved, settled in, and sent back out to learn more...repeatedly. That's when we're doing it right. 

We have realized spiritual truth is counterintuitive by proving it to ourself...repeatedly. Comes yet again a test of our vaunted realization. God makes available the ears (and the love) of a trusted friend to whom we spew our egoic fears, then wallow in them...even feel a touch of pride as they strut their stuff. There...the ultimate trust that God has our back.  

Face it, on the purely practical level, hiding those ego-trips surely hasn't stymied them. Here's our still more spiritual growth paying off: We are re-re-reminded that we must go beyond reason to love. There it is, it is realizing by experiencing our very me-ness that removes the veil from our eyes.   

 

We must remember when that time comes for another, and we are the friend being invited in, that we all have been lifted to a higher plane...we are not there to issue spiritual answers, not to redirect the egoic mind, not to speak but to listen. 

It is our honest and ongoing search for the spiritual that sets the wheels in motion. The One, using our friends ears, hears in lovingkindness and accepts our me-ness. 

There...we are freed from that me-fear, free for it to strut its stuff again if that be God's will for its secret power is out in the open...secret no more. Powerless.

When we cast our bread upon the water, maybe its return is not the blessing, but the casting. -- Anne Lamont

 

Thank you.

FORGIVENESS, OUR GIFT WE GET BY GIVING

We are One, the realization of which is the birth of forgiveness. 

Spirituality 101 is all about the essentiality of forgiveness in our walking-around world. Basically, forgiveness is not an act of will but the depletion of will. That is a very hard...and ongoing!...lesson to learn unto living. 

I suspect our spiritual growth is well spent by our beginning to understand daily that forgiveness is and will ever be the pain reliever in this world of human beings...the only inhabitants who need relief from the pain of the bondage of self. 

We are all God's imperfect messenger...not messengers...and our only message, being God's message, is Love. 

Love the one you hate...or as the unknown six-year-old Nikka said, "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." 

Our marching orders for 2022: Start with love and laughter, learn to mean it, and there be forgiveness, effortless. 

Thank you.

OUR SELFLESS ACT RETURNED

I began this new year at 5:00 AM with an unselfish act for the benefit of me...and the other if they choose to accept it. 

We are all God's imperfect messengers. That being the case, our one combined spiritual and intellectual act is to give over, give up, give in. Spiritually that is done without forethought, the intellectual is forethought. 

As long as we get where we're going, we mix and match until spiritual flows...with our reasoning mind along for the ride. 

The ticklish part of putting an unselfish act out in the wind is riding herd on our want-to...want-to masquerading as need-to, ego's need to know how it got received. Which, we say repeatedly, is none of our business, but who's kidding whom? To the self, that is our business. 

Face it, that's the building blocks toward still more spiritual growth. The building blocks: Get over yourself. Let go and let God. God can and will...let him. Natternatternatter. Until...until...until...God smiles. 

Our selfless act is returned in God's smile. I have felt God's smile this morning...I know not the result, I need not know.

Love and laugh...with God. 

Thank you.