SEEKING THE GOOD IN POWERLESSNESS

The [reason for] our daily work is to bring us to a point of conscious awareness of God's presence.

In this higher consciousness, you will experience My peace, My meat, wine, water, My life, My joy. In this consciousness, you experience the kingdom of God and His strength, His power, His wisdom. This is the Fourth Dimension of Life. -- Joel Goldsmith, "The Heart of Mysticism"

It is a puzzlement that I can so thoroughly want what Goldsmith writes about and do the necessary work and experience real changes in my consciousness... and get turned bum over bucket at blocks to my reasoning mind. As in, I am in the process of learning my powerlessness over my new Tablet. It's like learning to type all over again, and I don't have the patience I had at 15...when I had none at all now that I think about it.

Here's me saying I don't have the patience, when I am very well aware that we have all the patience we'll ever need within us right this very minute just waiting to be used. (Why do spiritual principles sound so sanctimonious when we're ticked off? Feels like they're being used at us. AND here's me peeved at me for lecturing me!)

I wish this thing had a clock on it that would show how long it took me to type just that paragraph. Sheez! I'm ready to go back to bed.

Yesterday morning I couldn't get the thing to turn on...I finally yelled at God that I know he has my back but he was going to have to get up in my brain if we were ever going to get this sucker to work.
With which I hit the right button and it came on... coincidence? Or God's got a perverted since of humor? Somehow "grace" doesn't seem to fit.

Enough. God can and will if sought... or he'd better because I'm clueless.

Thank you.

DETACH FROM ME...ATTACH TO WE

Just as there is no loss of basic energy in the universe, so no thought or action is without its effects, present or ultimate, seen or unseen, felt or unfelt. -- Norman Cousins

Today, "...so no thought...is without its effects..." lit up my mind. This says no more than the admonition that if we have lust in our hearts, we've already committed adultery. It's just that it is said by a modern man in today's world...a well-known modern man, not just some woo-woo guy walking by... or me to myself.

Rohr says something to the effect that authentic spiritual growth is always about us...that we must change first.

That change, of course, begins with our thoughts... change our thinking, change our very lives. Which goes back to my belief that changing our mind is the hardest thing life asks of us. Probably because all that real change requires is for us to quit thinking about ourselves and start thinking about others...first.

Thank you.

MY QUEST IS MY BLOCK

A note I wrote to myself in 2000: "This is my quest: To let the great I AM lead me to the freedom of giving and receiving love."

Another note below that one dated 2007: "Blinding flash of the obvious: This is what binds hate to me...the quest."

As I read that note, I realized more deeply its truth. My quest sounds so pretty, so acceptable to my reasoning mind, that it must be God-approved, yet it is just another self-determined objective. The quest keeps me up in my head, seeking my way, rather than taking a leap of faith, giving and receiving whatever love I have...like a mustard seed, a little love is enough and more than.

My note this morning: "2014 - Thank you that I freely give and receive love today...you do good work, God, and I am grateful."

Thank you.

THAT HATED WORD...DISCIPLINE

[The following is a reworked reprint of my blog of January 24, 2012.]

To live without fret or get is to live without remorses over the past or worries for the future…to live in the now. To live now, one must live as on the point of a pin, entirely focused on and consciously aware only of here and now.

Often, in reading a mystical author’s book, I will puzzle over seeming contradictions the author makes several times in the course of the book. The actions being suggested as necessary may look as different as A from Z but, when I follow the thought back each time, I find the premise is either “detach” or “resist not.”

My freedom is in the discipline of remembering, of bringing myself back to, just this: “Nothing is personal, resist not,” or, more specifically, “resist not…now.” (It’s often necessary for my reasoning mind to attach the word “now,” in order to hold my “yes, but” at bay.)

So the gift begins in that hated word “discipline” which becomes the pearl beyond price.

Thank you.

RESENTMENT FREE...NOW THAT'S FREEDOM

Some years ago I had an experience with an acquaintance who loved doing fix-it projects for friends, and he was very good at it. I had often remarked, however, that he could be running to help put out a fire in a burning building, and if a passer-by asked if he had change for a dollar, he'd stop and check his pockets to see if he did. From that, I surmised that he had ADHD which was neither here nor there to me...until he offered to fix something for me. 

This was a fairly major project, and I consciously weighed the cost (large) of getting a professional, and what my acquaintance would charge (minimal). I had a fleeting thought about his ADHD. I chose minimal and ADHD. 

It was a four-day job, and for two days he did fantastic work. The third day he didn't show, and when I saw him, he couldn't have been friendlier...just had too much to do with his regular job. Left my job totally up in the air which I'm sure he would have come back to later...how much later I didn't chose to consider. Clearly the pro I was going to need to call would have twice the work just figuring out where to start.

Here's where applying the decision-based-on-self rule saves us from resentment. (The rule being: When someone steps on our toes, seemingly without provocation, invariably we will find we've made a decision based on self that placed us in a position to be hurt.) 

Until I made that rule my own, I resisted it. Once I made it my own, as in started living it rather than telling other people that they should, I learned the real value of laughing at myself. I mean, what’s the alternative...go upside my own head? Plus, laughing at oneself really does throw cold water on the undying victim within...it just can't get started while we're laughing.

It is true, if we turn our attention away from a friend's act of unkindness or thoughtlessness, or any perceived slight, toward that friend's many kindnesses...and maintain that train of thought...we will walk free in our own heads. Resentment free...and that is real freedom. 

Thank you.

GOD'S WILL AND OUR LYING EYES

To the illumined man or woman, a clod of dirt, a stone, and gold are the same. -- Sri Krishna (Bhagavad Gita)

My morning's blinding flash of the obvious: Any want that I take to God in prayer...that want becomes my God.

I ponder that, and I realize that any strong desire that we pray God to give us or to help us attain, that want, that goal, when it becomes our driver, our heart's desire, has become our God.

Just adding, "...if it be Thy will," is a manipulation unless and until we can change our desire to the equivalent of "It would be nice but unnecessary." That's how our will is transmuted into "I'd rather have your will done in my life than my will, no matter what either looks like to my lying eyes."

Thank you.

AND GOD SIGHS

I've been indulging my attack mind recently...that's fancy words for endlessly taking another's inventory. Then, when I catch myself, I ask God to wash my thoughts clean..."purify my thoughts" are my exact words. 

Here's how God talks to me...this morning my blinding flash of the obvious was, "God is not a car wash." It doesn't take a lot of pondering to understand that. 

I can't let my thoughts attack at will and then thank God for cleaning them up, expecting to walk away with a clear mind. God doesn't clean up after us...He gives us free rein and by our own conscience we know if/when we're off. That's what spiritual discipline means...we get to do the work of disciplining our thoughts, our words, our actions. Upgrade, upgrade, upgrade. 

The Buddha is quoted as having said, "The Buddhas do but tell the way, it is for you to swelter at the task." No way are we going to walk away wondering what that means either.

If we're ever going to get to the gold standard (that's Chet the Jet's, "I've got a mind that's on my side."), we need to begin/continue to learn to love self-discipline. Which leads my resisting mind to the question: How is it that many "self" things seem so attractive, yet self-discipline remains such an ugh?

And God sighs...lovingly, of course.

Thank you.