THE ROOT OF ALL MY PROBLEMS

Owning our own thoughts...that's a tough line to walk.

Just this morning, I'm out with Ruckus and the thought pops that I really was humiliated by Sylvia Schloppenhaufer two or three years ago when she said bip-bip, and I didn't say a word back to her.

The second thought was that actually she not only said bip-bip, but she said it to me in my own home. Third thought, not only, but also...in front of several other people.

I was smokin'! Had my old resentment machine fired up and churning...no, my old resentment machine had me fired up and churning.

By this time, I'm back in my home, Ruckus is fed, and I have started to reflect on that blinding flash of fury and to wonder...where did that come from and why?!

I remember that resentments do not need facts upon which to feed and grow...they just need an unaware mind, a willingness to feel hurt, and an itch to find someone to blame.

The Sylvia story was a non-problem at the time, got resolved to my benefit and I haven't had to think about it since. Proof again that when left in idle, my ego-victory thoughts will sort and find something to agitate about.

There. That is exactly why, in order to own my own thoughts, I find a daily inventory is essential. It brings me back to the root of all my problems: Me.

Thank You.

ALL EVIL STARTS WITH A SINGLE THOUGHT

My morning blinding flash of the obvious: My only real freedom is the ability to walk free in my own head.

To walk free in my own head is...free of judgment, free of want, free of self. The responsibility for walking free in my own head is mine. I turn to God with the spiritual principles I have been given as my guide and go forward doing those spiritual principles in believing trust that God has my back.

The (paraphrased) admonition in the Bible that lusting in one's mind qualifies as adultery may be the real nut of life itself...all evil must start with a single thought.

Thank You.

GOD IS SO GOOD TO US

This morning I came across a BFO note I wrote to me in 1988: "It is not a desire to stop judging others, but a desire to stop feeling judged by others (so I can feel hurt, betrayed...the victim)."

Just a month or so back, I read that Ken Keyes had once said, "More suffering comes into the world by people taking offense than by people intending to give offense."

So 25 years before I read a quote from someone I'd never heard of, I had a blinding flash of the obvious saying virtually the same thing, and yet that quote was like big-time news to me.

Here is my grateful example of time takes time for I know that I have not been oblivious to that 1988 BFO all these years. I know because I do remember specific times when I pulled myself back from judging another and opened my heart and mind in a desire to understand the person I was judging...and did get understanding and release.

Which, when I think about it, is using my reasoning mind as it needs to be used...not to justify me (I already agree with me) but to understand you (whom I am resisting).

God is so good to me.

Thank You.

SELF-CONCERN v. SELF-PITY

I wonder, are all resentments self-pity based? I have long believed that anger is victim based and that playing the victim is just self-pity on the hoof.

There is a world of difference between self-concern and self-pity, of course. Self-concern is good and necessary and leads to a spiritual understanding of ourselves and others when we stay focused on our Soul's needs.

It is when we give over to our ego's wants that self-concern goes off-track, festering into self-pity...our ego, which always legislates for itself, must find somebody to blame, to pay for us.

We are told that Mahatma Gandhi "vowed to resist injustice, not by violence or retaliation, but through the loving power of nonviolent resistance, which elevates the consciousness of both oppressed and oppressor."

There it is. There's our answer...the consciousness of both oppressed and oppressor is elevated so that both sides come out the winner: We have given up fighting anything and anybody. -- Anonymous

Thank You.

RESENTMENT...OUR PRECIOUS CARGO

Why is it, I wonder, that it seems every time we resist anything, to our ego it has somebody or something else's name on it? And our resistance is usually over some fairly unimportant thing affecting our ego alone. The longer we resist this fairly unimportant thing the more precious it becomes to our ego-victory mind.

This precious cargo never stands up straight and walks in the front door, saying, "My feelings are hurt by the way I interpreted a remark you made." No, it sneaks in the back door, whispering, "S/He is so judgmental...mean-spirited, truth to tell...somebody needs to tell her."

We build our resentment until it finally erupts, either within or without, spewing our rigid, righteous and right answer for him...as in, "The trouble with you is you don’t know a thing about acceptance." Which, by our actions, tells the trouble with us: We don't know a thing about acceptance, and wherever we've slung it, within or without, it is mud landing in our own face.

Our everyday actions prove the truth of the adage [paraphrased here] that the mote we complain of in her eye is nothing compared to the plank we ignore in ours.

Thank You.

AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

My morning’s blinding flash of the obvious: When I am faced with anything I fear or dread, I need to picture it as me going into the lion’s den...then remember that the only thing that can hurt me there is my own attack thoughts.

As I go into my lion’s den, it is vital that I focus on freeing my own mind from anything but “Thank You.” It is a fact that my attack thoughts are usually formed by my interpretation of what I heard another say, or what I “just know” another meant when s/he said what I heard. The minute I send out an attack thought that is my call/invitation to the “lions” to attack...me.

It has been said that what we see is always ourselves, what we hear is always our interpretation of what was said. An attitude of gratitude makes all incoming/outgoing kinder, gentler than we would naturally choose.

Thank You.

THE LIGHT IS WITHIN

The light shines on the inside of the darkness, and the darkness will not overcome it."  (John 1:5)

The light is within the darkness thus cannot be overcome by the darkness...but we must walk through the darkness back to God consciousness, the deeper place within where we find our highest place of light. 

When we find it, it envelopes all, and there is no darkness.

Thank You.