OCEAN, DESERT, MUD...ONE

Ocean to the right
Desert to the left
Mud in the middle

It is from the mud in the middle that we are formed...from which we move forth to be. To become. To make our choices as to whom we will be...whom we will show forth...to learn what fits, what personality, what gifts, what defects.

Never suspecting that we are the mirage of the ocean and the desert.

It is God's grace that reveals that there is no choice...we are now just as we were then: one with the ocean, with the desert...mud, God.

Thank You.

OVERCOMING OURSELVES

The following is a reprint of a blog of mine from July 30 , 2009.

  

Not to him who walks on, with no obstacles in his way, but to him that overcometh is the promise given….And the overcoming is never the overcoming of the one who troubled you, but the overcoming of the weaknesses and wrong in your own nature, aroused by such a one.  - “God Calling” by Two Listeners

That thought is put to the test and proven when one does service work, when one serves others. When one’s chief concern is not how to get, but how to give, one is much more open to the feelings of others, to their cares and concerns.

When service is given simply for the joy of serving…and there is joy in serving…resistance seems almost non-existent. However, when service is given as a duty, and not a happy duty, resistance seems to rule.  

My great aunt was a nurse and a very good nurse…she loved nursing. Since there was no advertising as such in the early 1900s, news of her services was passed on by word of mouth. She always had as many patients as she chose to accept.

Her sister, my grandmother, also trained to be a nurse. She hated it. She just had the worst luck with her patients…they were all demanding, nasty and mean into the bargain.

Many years after they had both retired (and my grandmother was still complaining about her patients), my dad told us that her problem wasn’t the patients, it was her refusal to accept that she was dealing with herself. I wondered at the time what he meant.

I have since learned that what we see is always ourselves. Until we overcome within ourselves that which is putting us off in others, we’ll spend a lot of time finding fault with over there (you), making excuses for right here (me)…and being unhappy.

Thank You.

THE WELCOMING LIFE

Keep it simple.

When first I read "pray without ceasing," I saw me in a hair shirt, on my knees, 24/7. My answer was no, not in this life...but it was a justified no, of course. I mean, I'm allergic to wool much less hair shirts, plus I've got a bum knee, then who's going to walk my dog?

After much resistance, my mind slowly changed...just trying to look at it from another angle, I came to recognize the value in "thank You." Thank You for green lights...and red; for found treasure...and lost. Thank You for everything that comes into our conscious awareness...that is praying without ceasing.

Slowly, ever so slowly, I came to appreciate "thank You" as the perfect praising prayer. It was then that I began to experience the promise, "He will keep you in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him." For how can we not be at peace when we're welcoming...simply welcoming.

And when the outside of enough hits my impatience button, and my mouth, which has a mind of its own, starts flapping...thank You for that, too.

That's what all the disciplining our thoughts has been, and continues to be, about...to help us remember more quickly when, not if, we forget God and go for the glory...the glory of setting one more jerk straight, the glory of looking good up front (if you don't look to close at the behind), the glory of self will winning for the moment.

Thank You for each and every instance...presto, no more rues, regrets, remorses to wake us at 2:00 AM...or considerably fewer, at any rate.

Keep it simple.

Thank You.

IT IS NOT OUT THERE...IT IS WITHIN

Listen...learning to listen. This is the message I'm getting from everywhere right now. Find the silence. Find the silence within...within ourselves. Learning to listen, finding the silence within, is all about discipline...disciplining our very own mind.

The silence of a forest glen is all well and good, but it is not the silence we must find. No...right where we are, come apart from our world and learn to listen as only the dying can.

If we have thoughts that just race/race, run/run, we are blessed. For we know the time is now, the place to start is here...sit down, sit comfortably erect, close the eyes, hold a word or a thought in mind ("thank You" works well), and simply let....

Our goal is to loose the power within. "It makes no difference what you call this power...God, Father or the Christ, by whatever name you call It, It is to be found within you!" (Joel Goldsmith, "The Heart of Mysticism," p. 116.)

That's the entire purpose of meditation...to open ourselves to that which we already have and are searching for so diligently out there.

It is not out there. It is within. Loose it and let it lead.

Thank you.

LEARNING TO LOVE V. LOOKING FOR LOVE

Lord grant that I may not so much seek to be loved as to love. -- Saint Francis of Assisi

Eknath Easwaran writes that "learning to love is like swimming against the current of a powerful river; most of our conditioning is pushing us in the other direction." Beside that, in a note of mine, I had written, "This is the way to forgiveness of Mom and her latest trick...to love her I must keep looking for ways to show her love instead of ways to shame her behavior."

I had always sent birthday cards, Mother's Day cards, Valentines, etc., to Mom, but they each and everyone said simply, "Happy Birthday" or Mother's Day, or Whatever Day. Not another word. Then, for one of those days, I was looking for a card and found one that was the hearts-and-floweriest, laciest, sugariest card on the rack. The kind that turned my stomach. It had a verse that went on over both insides about the Receivee being a fabulous, wonderful, best-ever, No. 1 Mother.

Sidebar: When I moved to L.A., in the early '60s, I'd landed me a writer/producer in the movie industry. Keeping him happy was my only goal in life, and he was sure he could make me a money-making star if I would just change my name...which, of course, I did. My mother took this name change as a direct, personal, with malice aforethought, stab to her heart. So naturally every non-card I sent I signed with my movie-star-wannabe name...because I had a right to be me, my life wasn't all about her, etc., etc., etc.

So, back to the sugary card. I bought it. I wrote "I love you" at the bottom. I signed my birth name. I sent it. To my mother.

The almost beyond-belief part is that I did this without planning, without grinding of teeth, without drama. I was looking for a nothing card, I saw the sweet one, and, although the thought did pass my mind that this might be hypocritical on my part, God whispered, "Like you've never been hypocritical before," so I bought it, and it all went forward.

She called me when she received it...crying. Said she'd save it forever. I never again sent her a nothing card, and I always signed my birth name with "I love you."

When I was packing up her house after she passed, I found all the sugar cards in her keepsake box, tied together with a ribbon. Thanks, Mom. I love you still.

Thank You.

TO BE WILLING TO BE

I just read, and wonder if it is true: "All human evil comes from this: a man's being unable to sit still in a room." That by Blaise Pascal...who is s/he?

It got me thinking at any rate, and the thought occurs that all anxiety comes from resistance -- to our own thoughts? to our own projections? to our own negativity? All anxiety comes from resistance to our own fear.

Never fight fear...never give in to fear.

Aha, this must be what Fr. Richard Rohr means when he tells us to "hold the tension." To stay centered without being swamped by fear or fantasy.

Know fear as nothingness...as simply the impetus needed:

1. to get out of the way of a runaway train;
2. to move closer with patience in our heart to an irritating person;
3. to be willing to be wrong before our world;
4. to take responsibility for being right before our world;
5. to be willing to change our mind;
6. to welcome all things, thoughts, people that come into our mind-field;
7. to take a leap of faith;
8. to Be...for all our world and God to see.   

Thank You.

THE LIFE-FORCE ITSELF

You will never know death as long as you do not confuse yourself with the visible...but realize yourself to be the life-force Itself.  (Joel Goldsmith, The Heart of Mysticism at p. 108)

My eyes shut
My heart stops beating
My breath stills
My consciousness flows on to eternity, back before conception.

Thank You.