THE ENEMY WHO MUST BE LOVED

That I feed the beggar,

That I forgive an insult,

That I love my enemy,

These are undoubtedly great virtues.

But what if I should discover

That the least among them all,

The poorest of all beggars,

The most impudent of all offenders,

Yea, the very fiend himself,

That these are within me,

And that I, myself, stand in need

Of the alms of my own kindness,

That I, myself, am the enemy who must be loved.

What then?

-- C. B. Jung

THERE IS NO OTHER

Take hold of yourself and make yourself responsible for all men's sins. My friend, believe me, that really is so, for the moment you make yourself responsible in all sincerity for everyone and everything, you will see that it really is so and that you are in fact responsible for everyone and everything." -- Father Zossima in "The Brothers Karamazov" (as quoted in my season of lent reading today)

What an eyeopener! I read that quote and knew that I had unknowingly accepted that I am "responsible for everyone and everything" with my first realization of oneness.

The first time I really understood I AM that I AM was when I first knew I and the Father are One applies to the universe. That was a long time ago, and I am still trying to wholly incorporate that into my very being...I got it originally from my eyebrows up. It has slowly moved to my heart and is working its way to my core.

It definitely was with OMG wonder when I read that quote and learned there is more to do after the realization of one with God and man. And this is it: To take hold of myself and make myself responsible for all man's sins.

It is not a choice. This is the rest of the realization...the rest of the story.

If I am ever to truly know the promise that the Father and I are one, I must understand and accept that death is to the belief I cling to that it is another who is at fault, another who is wrong...or another who is smarter or uglier or prettier.

Death is to the belief that there is an other.

Thank You.

WILLINGNESS IS THE KEY

My morning's blinding flash of the obvious: Receiving unconditional love requires giving over all my hidey holes...not by will, by willingness.

So receiving unconditional love is harder than giving unconditional love...and giving is impossible. I do believe one cannot get unconditional love without giving unconditional love...it's like a hug. See, that's what happens when my reasoning mind takes over...complicates a fairly simple idea.

Back to giving over all my hidey holes...in my reading this morning (about the atonement of the cross, which I've never really thought over much about): "which brings us to a place where we must either become entirely receptive or flee to preserve our craving to be in control ourselves." At "entirely receptive" is where I flashed "to your discovery of all my hidey holes." I knew that meant to all my hidey holes being exposed to God, to myself and to other human beings,

The best I've done with the atonement of the cross is to think of it as unconditional love which I've always maintained only God can do...I may be right.

What if atonement brings me to acceptance of all my hidey holes being exposed...not just to acceptance of all my hidey holes, even those I am unaware of, but of them being exposed? And that's probably a distinction without a difference...that is the nature of acceptance, exposure of my unacceptable to the light of day, of consciousness, of God. Like the old "Love is never having to say you're sorry," acceptance is never having to hide again.

My reading this morning went on to say, "God alone can do what must be done...overcome the separation, demolish the barrier, fill in the lack, annihilate the debt." I know that to be true, and I also know that willingness is the key.

Thank You.

LACK OF ACCEPTANCE

It has been said that lack of acceptance is the cause of all our problems, and I believe that to be true. Acceptance is what makes "resist not evil" the right answer, yet our reasoning mind will fight that every time.

"It doesn't make sense," we cry...or, "That is not reasonable."

There, right there, is the ah-ha that invites the often-misunderstood truth, "Go beyond reason to love."

Most spiritual growth in my life has been totally unreasonable to my reasoning mind. I had an occasion once in my professional career where I had to push back at a superior who was harassing me on a daily basis. I wrote about that a year or so back, but the end result was I did push back, I did give him three conditions he had to meet, and, "kicking, cussing, moaning," he did meet them...and we became lunch-buddy friends.

The point of that is whenever I've shared that story, most people I've shared it with cannot wrap their mind around it being acceptance to push back...that one can resist not evil in push back.

It is in trying to understand it with the reasoning mind that is the snag...staying in the reasoning mind will not get you spiritual answers.

What I did was walk through push back by not fighting...I simply spoke my truth. I have given up fighting, but I haven't given up speaking my truth, inviting another to speak her truth, and then not standing in the way of a spiritual answer.

The reasoning mind is not attuned to such action...or mine certainly didn't start out there. It is a commitment to still more spiritual growth that makes acceptance, non-resistance and going beyond reason to love possible.

Thank You.

MY WILLINGNESS AND GOD'S GRACE

I have a friend who is very vocal in her beliefs, some of which are diametrically opposite to mine. Without any effort on my part, I have maintained my silence without my attitude prancing about doing my talking for me. For which, I must admit I have been in silent wonder because that is not my m.o.

I have another friend who rarely shows whether she agrees or disagrees with what is being said. I guess what she has is a "poker face" but she always looks interested in whatever the subject is. I do admire her ability to maintain a respectful silence.

Last night at 2:00 AM, my ego woke me up to suggest I might need to push back, to "educate" my first friend that I have another point of view...justifying that I need to speak by hinting that my silence is hypocrisy.

This is the exact point where my spiritual growth (give up fighting anything and anybody) and my ego-victory-seeking reasoning mind (I am being personally attacked and must defend myself) go to the mat with each other.

I pray for the ability to remain silent in the face of provocation, I get my opportunity, and I look for a something other, a different opportunity...one where I can speak and get silent points at the same time.

In the light of day, I can wonder if maybe this isn't why second friend is in my life...to show me how to do that which I so admire and seldom do. This gives me my "pony to ride" in changing my behavior...my ability, with God's grace, to take this defect of character in stride and turn it into my demonstration of faith.  I know it works when everybody comes out a winner.

I can never learn too many times that giving up fighting anything and anybody is always the answer, always perfectly possible...with my willingness and God's grace.

Thank You.

GOD CAN AND WILL IF SOUGHT

The cited quote in my today's Lenten reading is from I Corinthians 2:9: "... no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the human heart conceived, what God has prepared for those who love him."

I note there is no mention of the reasoning mind.

I believe that is precisely because the reasoning mind is incapable of comprehending God much less "what God has prepared for those who love him."

To me, that is the Catch-22 of the human condition. My Self knows that a power greater than itself is essential for me to live a happy, whole and free life, and I welcome that. My  reasoning mind, however, cannot let that be true...indeed believes the Self's very survival is up to it to "figure it out." I don't doubt that my reasoning mind's theme song is "Here I Come To Save The Day."

It gives me comfort today to know I know that, no matter how often I catch myself plotting, planning, figuring how to...I always come back to my proven truth: God can and will if sought.

Thank You.

DESIRE NOT TO DESIRE

I desire not to desire, for my will is without value, since I am ignorant in any case. Therefore choose Thou for me what Thou knowest to be best and do not put my perdition in what my autonomy and free choice prefer. -- Bayazid Al-Bistami

This sounds so good...so right. 

I've never heard of the man (or woman?), so I don't know if s/he got there. I know I never expect to get there, but I, too, can desire not to desire...can feel good that I know this is good and right.

Thank you.