Blinding flash again: I seek not to grow bigger, smarter, better in this world, but to grow smaller, wee-er, lesser in the spiritual world to make more room for knowing my Father within me.
That blinding flash is re-realized and I suspect will be till three days after I'm dead. One problem being that every time I say it out loud for others' ears to hear, I feel like a fool...or at best a phony. Egoic mind is seldom killed and is denied very slowly.
I suppose that is the good and the bad news both together...seeking to become lesser does not make sense to our reasoning mind. But there is little purely spiritual that does make the first cut to the reasoning mind...and it takes some serious detaching over time and more time for it to make sense at all.
Learning unto accepting that God's will is the reverse of reasoning mind opened me to The Way for me. The Sermon on the Mount was my Rosetta stone; "The Lazy Man's Guide to Enlightenment" by Thaddeus Golas was my how-to manual...specifically, the sentence, We must go beyond reason to love.
Interesting to me, I just recognized that I have not before caught that I seek to grow lesser to make more room for knowing my Father within me. For my Father growing within me, more like. Whatever, I take heart that my Father is the most important part of my seeking.
Also I take heart that I knew from the get-go that the love in We must go beyond reason to love is God. With every step up deeper (especially when resistant) my consciousness is embraced by God, love.
My plain old me in my daily reasoning mind seldom gets it immediately, or even really fast, but I do get it. I'm content trusting God's timing to get me where he needs me whenever.
Thank you.
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