The new is always by definition unfamiliar and untested, so God, life, destiny, suffering have to give us a push—usually a big one—or we will not go. We tend to avoid any conflict, inconsistencies, suffering, or darkness and therefore opportunities for transformation. -- Fr Richard Rohr, "Daily Meditation, " August 14, 2020
It is an unfortunate fact...thus hidden boon...in my life that I resist doing anything the first time.
It took a long time before I could accept that about myself, then longer before I shared it with others. When first I admitted it in a group, I expected eyerolls and snickers. There again, beware of our own expectations for they will stifle us. What I got instead was a lot of people nodding in agreement or murmuring a warm and wonderful, "Oh, that's me."
When I first heard, Feel the fear and do it anyway, I felt fairly certain that I'd found the key to unlock this particular prison door of mine. I doubt not that is why I was so open to the thank you prayer. I can feel the fear, pray thank you (i.e., toss it over to God who has already fixed it), and do that which I am fearing.
The sliver of gold is that it works. The nugget is that it works on many levels. First, just as it is said; then we find the more we trust it, the deeper it raises our consciousness...the pearl.
It is our own realization of that gift that takes time, likely because it happens without our thinking, pondering, analyzing. There. That's building our trust in the Father within...without working it.
In looking back we accept that we are freed by grace and by God. We are grateful that our finest thinking will never be a match for the grace of God...or we'd wear ourself out worrying and calling it thinking.
Thank you.
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