Whisperings from my quiet time this morning:
From my eyebrows up, all I want is to love the Lord aright. I have sought that feeling, of love for the Lord, for many years...against the advice of mentors, spiritual directors, the Bible and "God Calling." All of which have warned that seeking the feeling is not seeking God, it is personal to me and not of the Lord. Apparently, all that I need do to love the Lord aright is to overcome my own self.
I rely on the promise in Isaiah 45:2, I will go before thee, and make the crooked places straight. I believe it is my so-called enemies, too, who go before me and make my crooked places straight. All of those discordant friends are my angels for they turn me to God almost as fast as fear does.
The trouble with being right is it closes our mind. So does being wrong, but being wrong brings down the hammer that cracks our shell...and lets God's light in.
The fantasy of glory bestowed upon me comes when old hurts and haunts seep slither into my unguided mind. It's fairly easy to recognize that fantasy as me getting over on all who ever dissed me...as in, they will be impressed or, better, shamed. The ice water shower: If all of them are gone from my life, what good is it, glory? Hey...maybe true glory will come when I catch myself fantasizing hugging them, kissing them and letting them go...not just the people but the hurts and the haunts.
God is so good to me.
Thank you.
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