I am beginning to believe (no, to realize) that the whole story of triumph over self is learning to love our thoughts...when they are at their least lovable. Totally based in ego and seemingly all on their own, they start judging, condemning, cursing...our self in particular, but for sure any and all others at any given time.
In beginning to realize this triumphal process, I also realize that I have written...a lot...about that being the actual starting point in transforming consciousness. That, too, is the necessary process...we know right from wrong long before we consciously choose right on a consistent basis...consistent not constant.
It is important to me to remember that I can consciously pinpoint the time and place that my turnaround began...it was just recently, April 20th to be exact. In a blinding flash of the obvious, I named my ego Lucy, and I knew that God loves Lucy and laughs about Lucy's antics. There. I was gifted with my ego as a fun factor in my life...not to be taken seriously but loved. To me, the very word "ego" had always had a shimmer of shame about it.
My job now is to accept that this turnaround is a bare beginning...it (or I) will slip and slide for who knows how long...but the turn has happened. That's what I get to return to with every backslide.
That's the grace of God with the help of Jesus, Joseph and Mary...and my heavy lifter Ari.
Thank you.
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