I'm convinced that the reason so many of us doubt the fact of God is that God doesn’t deliver his goodness as a one-shot deal or in the form we're seeking.
Say we’re facing bankruptcy...we pray for the one-shot solution of money, of course. And God gives us peace! Because we don’t get the money, we freak, miss his gift of peace, and deny there is a God. Thus, we never learn that in a peaceful place, we worry not, and ways open to us that walk us through the bankruptcy...in peace.
Or we pray for love...to be a loving person, not just to get love, but to be a loving person. We ignore or never accepted the fact that we have all the love there is to have within us right now, there from birth. The only way to prove it is there, however, is to use it...by giving it away. The tricky part is we can't give it only to those or that which we already approve of...that's not love, that's self-satisfaction. No. We think of the (way too many) people we don't approve of and decide to upgrade our opinion. Of one. Leaning on the Lord and risking being wrong, we change our minds...we let the braggart, the blowhard, the self-centered jerk be. Just be. And holy moley...that very jerk is now a friend, a compassionate and caring friend.
There. That is my goal today...when (not if) there is someone who irritates me to the point that my palm itches to slap her, I lean on the Lord, etc. We're working on one right now...it takes time, but as long as I know my goal, I'm heading in the right direction. As my friend Sandy used to say, "Changing my mind is like turning the Queen Mary....slow, oh so slow."
This is my experience. It's not a truth I read in a book, but my very own experience. With that as my experience, you'd think I'd do it a lot more, but one or two to start with is a bona fide miracle, according to me. And I am beyond grateful.
Thank you.
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