I ponder that and recognize that when I pray God for forgiveness of a past incident caused by me through malice or ignorance, what I'm wishing is that he will erase it from ever having happened or, next best, that he will wipe clean any memory of it. End result: That I walk free of me...painlessly.
There are no freebies in life. We must each do the actual footwork of facing, taking responsibility for, our own behavior. Whether we acted out of malice or ignorance, or indeed had good intentions that went awry, we must take full ownership. Ideally, with any one or more affected fully aware of our taking responsibility. They get to do with that whatever they will...forgive or not, that's on them.
It is my facing myself, with God as my guide, that frees me...with God as my guide being the key.
Me facing me as a self-determined objective usually doesn’t do anything but risk offending more...because self is the driver and self’s objective is always CYA or ego-victory. And that is precisely what others see, feel, know. There is no God in that, no forgiveness of others or of self in that. We wind up with an unfinished feeling, a vague feeling of regret. And there's never a doubt where that leads...to more regrets. Rues. Remorses.
We know God is present by the absence of any feeling of pride. We feel blessed. Undeserving. Humbled. But no pride. No self. And no regrets.
Thank you.
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