Having the single goal of still more spiritual growth sure simplifies life...or my life at any rate. I don't have to get all up in my head as to whether I'm doing a stupid thing or not...if my goal is to love...just to love...to know it and to show it...then the result of whatever I'm doing or planning to do is immaterial.
It's getting all tangled up in perceived results that stymie our growth. Because our perceived result is almost surely and simply fear...of looking stupid, of inviting gossip, of being thought wrong (which is worse than being wrong because when we are wrong, and know it, we can admit it...but being thought wrong? There's another mental bushwack-a-doo at two o'clock in the morning.)
All of this stems from an invitation I issued. It was accepted, and in a matter of hours, I was gripped with the mental grab-bag of I have reached out first...that's going to look like...people are going to think...what to do, I'm a fool. All that before my heart beat twice.
But then...here came the Sermon riding in on a thank you. And I reminded me that my goal is to live the Sermon...and as long as that is my heart-goal, my doubts, fears, stumbles, and pratfalls are as naught to me in my life...and I breathed free.
I realized sometime in the last week or so that today I am content. Something I never dreamed possible for me to know about myself...to aspire to, but never to own. And today I own it. Through the grace of God and a little help from my friends, and I am grateful.
Thank you.
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