DOING WHAT I NEED TO DO BECAUSE I WANT TO

I had the best experience this morning. The best experience with my own attack mind. I found myself thinking, pondering, questioning how a dear friend of mine and I could resolve an unspoken problem. We each have an identical problem the solution to which we come at in exactly opposite directions.

The best experience for me was that I found myself really questioning how we could come to agreement...how to give over and remain true to ourselves.

I came to this by taking her inventory. I'm a big believer in taking inventories of others as long as our goal is to find the part we own in it...goes back to the old (and true) "if you can spot it, you got it."

I wrote a lot before I came to how she so aggressively states her position as if there is no other position that could possibly be...with chin out and fire in eyes. And that's when she's just chatting, not even discussing the pros and cons with another. And, lo, I saw me.

Now, I believe I've come a long way from there. I did once live there, but as I so often say, nothing is past tense with me. That dogmatic little pedant is still alive within me, ready to leap out and show my butt whenever I least expect it. The good news is, today I know that is not the core of me.

With that realization, I get to extend that internal knowledge and acceptance to my friend. I get to stop running my mind on how to explain any part of it to her or to me. Loose it and let it go. "Drop kick me, Jesus, through the goal posts of life" [from a great country song by Bobby Bare].

All I need do is mentally recommit myself to our friendship...to my putting our friendship before my desire to explain...anything. I can do that...because I want to. Here's me, doing what I need to do because I want to do it. Don't tell me there is no God.

Thank You.