It's an unsettling experience to realize the aging process as it is happening. Usually, it has been in looking back that I saw, realized, the change. But just yesterday as I was driving to my final new-knee exam (passed with flying colors, thank you, Jesus, doctor and friends), I hesitated to go to the doctor's office by my usual route because of a dicey left-turn. So I drove a longer way. I realized as I did that that something akin to it had happened just the day before, too.
I also realized that now is the time for me to make a decision about my driving. I get to decide to either go with what's happening, i.e., limiting me more and more in my driving and thus other areas which I haven't even noticed yet...OR, consciously try something new.
The new being to consciously practice the Presence in the present...to stay in the now, which simply boils done to staying alert NOW, as I drive. Be the driver of the school bus as it were. I continue driving, doing, as I have always done, but to consciously keep a clear mind...no longer carrying on long and difficult conversations with my sister who was wrong back in 1984 and has never even seen it much less admitted to it, or with one or the other political figure who is a flamer if there ever was one, and here's what s/he needs to do about it. (I can always continue those in the safety of my own home.)
It is a comfort to me that I know my own limitations today...I know I cannot of myself do that just because I know that is what I need to do.
Here's where I remind me that my job is to make the decision and know that all of heaven will align with me to carry me forward to perfect completion. I can trust that because I have experienced that. It's no longer just pretty words that I wish were true...there's the comfort in self-knowledge, in having taken that leap of faith more than once and landing on the other side, better for it.
It's all about remembering that no final result is mine, and more important that my reasoning mind will never get me there.
Thank You.
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