GOD'S LAUGHTER

I have come to understand that anyone who treats me unkindly is my angel in disguise.

There was a person in my office in the early 90s who was a misogynist, and he treated me less than wonderfully. In a note in "God Calling" dated back then, I wrote, "Only I can pardon my persecutors. Only I can set them free." I knew I could do nothing to effect a change...that I needed to turn within, and I could.

Here's the tricky part, however. It took action on my part...the better part of the action was letting go of my fear of losing my job if I took affirmative action for myself. Long/short: I let go, faced the person and, without anger or malice, stated my "Enough," got an apology, and the harassment never happened again.

That was one of those seemingly terrible times that turned out to be the pearl beyond price on so many levels. It taught me first to ponder long and hard until I came to the gut-bucket realization that God had my back at any and all times. That even if by my taking action I got fired, God had that covered to, and I did not need to know how. Then I had to come to understand that I was trying to accept the wrong thing...I was trying to accept being treated poorly just to hold on to my job. Finally, I realized that I could and that I needed to take action for myself in the midst of my fear, knowing that God had my back, then go Nike...just do it.

In Eknath Easwaran's daily reader today: "...returning kindness for unkindness is not simply being kind to that particular person. You're being kinder to yourself, because you are undoing a compulsion, taking one more step towards being free."

Paradoxically, this is harder for me to do when it's just Sylvia Schloppenhoffer snubbing me or my job is not on the line. I  just need to not be as nasty as I want to be. Another one of God's jokes.

Thank You.