ON ARM-WRESTLING WITH GOD

I wrestled with God on my bed of pain as I do still today . . . I argue and shout and listen and pray and question and doubt and finally acquiesce, only to move further down the path to another fork in the road where the struggle begins yet anew. - modern mystic, Dr. Diana L. Hayes as quoted in Fr Richard Rohr's "Daily Meditation," December 5, 2019 

When first I read that, I felt like I was reading my own diary. Reading it again this morning...same goes. But what a stand-up-and-shout blessing...this confirms that doing what the reasoning mind whispers in my ear as wrong is very much right for my spiritual growth.

To have an ongoing, set-Him-straight, get-set-straight argument disguised as my meditation pretty much describes the school my spiritual growth is growing up in. 

Best part...both the God of my understanding and I are comfortable with it. I never need doubt Him as the source of my blinding flashes of the obvious, my pearls beyond price. (I never need to, but of course  I do...else we wouldn't have our disguised meditations that He always wins.)

Neither do I doubt that my crash-and-burn surrender nearly fifty years ago was and is still my essential bond with my Father. The bond that proves me as powerless, Him as the Higher Power.

And I am grateful...I can never be grateful enough to quote my beloved Si.

Thank you.