Old wives' tale: A worm cut in two becomes two worms. The truth of the matter: Our character defects, self-willed away, become two defects...our original one and the one we thought we were killing.
Back in the day, I often wondered how it was that I seemed to set myself up to fail. It was a big reveal, no doubt a blinding flash of the obvious, when I saw clearly that indeed I did do that...I did set myself up to fail. I did it on purpose...unconsciously, but on purpose. It was my comfort zone.
Of course, I immediately started my war on self-defeat and was fairly quickly blessed with the realization that this defect could be neither beaten down nor lifted out by my own efforts. To try was to engage in the very thing I was fighting.
I chose to accept this as a natural part of me, neither good nor bad, and it has developed into what I consider to be my Saint Francis gift: With love as my cushion, seek less, strip self down rather than build self up, defend nothing, accept all that I bring my way.
And know God in the midst of it. (Which I sheepishly admit I no doubt will be working on until three days after I'm dead.)
Thank you.
Back in the day, I often wondered how it was that I seemed to set myself up to fail. It was a big reveal, no doubt a blinding flash of the obvious, when I saw clearly that indeed I did do that...I did set myself up to fail. I did it on purpose...unconsciously, but on purpose. It was my comfort zone.
Of course, I immediately started my war on self-defeat and was fairly quickly blessed with the realization that this defect could be neither beaten down nor lifted out by my own efforts. To try was to engage in the very thing I was fighting.
I chose to accept this as a natural part of me, neither good nor bad, and it has developed into what I consider to be my Saint Francis gift: With love as my cushion, seek less, strip self down rather than build self up, defend nothing, accept all that I bring my way.
And know God in the midst of it. (Which I sheepishly admit I no doubt will be working on until three days after I'm dead.)
Thank you.
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