CHEAP SHOT AT GRATITUDE

God is so good to me.

I've had a bad case of I See Me for the past X number of days, and God has not lifted me out of it. Has not gifted me, has not punished me. There. That's how it's done. That's how we become transparent to our perceptions, our self-determined problems. Do as God does. Which is to laugh...as in, I wish!

I feel an attack of my mother coming on: "You have only yourself to blame." Oh, Mom, if you only knew. I have a whole cast of characters that I can blame...and will if left to my own devices. There's my cheap shot at gratitude...I'm never left to my own devices today.

That's how I know God is so good to me...I aspire to be God, and He sends Mom to set me straight. Woo-boy.

Thank you.

ATTACK MIND AND EGO VICTORIES

Rude awakening...one cannot live in one's head and then claim ignorance when one, through sheer self-absorption, kicks another to the curb. 

There...that's the end-result value of taking another's inventory. I'm labeling the thought behind that "Gertrude," but I fear I'm seeing me. I'm reminded of an Easwaran quote, "We see life not as it is but as we are."

I have such an aversion to passive-aggressive behavior that I suspect that is my attack mind's favorite hidey-hole...its secret atomic weapon. That may well be where my ego-victory mind thrives. As in, hit 'em where it hurts and leave 'em wondering if that was what it felt like it was. Then I don't have to own it since I didn't do it...and I can repeat that thought unto perfection at 3:00 AM.

What is that biblical admonition about lusting in one's head is committing adultery in fact? Rats.

Thank you.

COINCIDENCE? WE THINK NOT

I’ve just experienced a coincidence that I almost took for a coincidence. And I've got to give credit to last night's snow for awakening me...and of course it would be the bad-word, bad-word snow.

I had an appointment for 9:00 AM this morning for my annual physical. I heard last week that Tuesday's weather was going to be extremely cold, below zero, with Wednesday's nearly as cold. I started at that point pondering whether I should cancel and make a new appointment. I did nothing. [Note to self: When one is pondering and doing nothing, it is no longer called "pondering." It is called "procrastination," which is just a pretty word used to dress up a bad habit.]

I justified doing nothing because the word "snow" was never mentioned. One flake of snow in my world today? I do not move my body from inside to outside. I just kept hearing about wind chill and feels like, and temperatures were going lower every time they were mentioned. Still I relied on my bad habit. 

Monday night...literally, nighttime, it was 8:30 PM...my phone rings. It was my doctor's automated appointments robot calling to remind me of my Wednesday 9:00 AM appointment and giving me three options: Push 1 if I'm going to be there; push 2 for I don't remember why; push 3 if I want to cancel. I pushed 3...it didn't believe me and asked me to push 3 again if I meant it, so I did. My appointment was canceled. I was relieved but still feeling like maybe I should have made the effort to go.

All day yesterday, the weatherman kept announcing snow on the way all around, but none over here where I live...specifically, he left us out. Last night, the last shot I saw on my TV after the State of the Union speech was of the Capitol with snow falling. Since I don't live on the Hill, I still thought I was safe...it was late and I was sleepy, what can I say?

We haven't gotten to the coincidence yet, but here it comes. I got up this morning with snow covering everywhere I could see. It was then I said, "What a coincidence! That automated robot saved my bum...I wouldn't have canceled, I don't drive in snow, and..." with which it occurred to me: It wasn't the robot, it was God. God taking care of business...taking care of my personal business because He loves me AND it’s His job.

Here's my today's lecture: Never, never, never pass up an opportunity to give God credit...to give God all credit.

It may have been just a coincidence. It may have been the robot only. But what if what I've been saying and believing for years, i.e., God can and will intervene in my life in my behalf, is true? Isn't this the proof of it? Plus, what pay-it-forward good comes from believing in a robot? A robot is only as good as its programmer.

God is God's programmer, and It is good. Not to mention, God is always on our side. A robot? You take your chances.

Thank you.

TRUSTING IN THE SILENCE

I'm thinking this morning about an interrupted friendship. My self-determined objective is to concede to my friend...but my motive is just to get it over with, a self-determined objective that never works to anybody's advantage. On the other hand, since there is some garbage on the field between us, to try to talk that through is just playing in the mess, making more of a mess. To just ignore it and call it "agreeing with your adversary quickly" or "turning the other cheek" is lying to myself and to God.

I know that I am open to a healing of our relationship, open to God's perfect healing, but I also know I need to sit and wait on the Lord. Being willing is not being ready. Being willing is to be open to NOT explaining me to Gertrude or Gertrude to me, open to understanding the UN-necessity of any oral explanation.

I am reminded, and gratefully, of my own experience that I can rely on here. Back in 1987 being willing for a healed working relationship and being quiet about it resulted in both of us, my co-worker and me, experiencing the removal of our resentments...voila, a healed relationship.

God nudged, I acted, my co-worker responded in kind...we became friends with none of our mutually unkind words and acts explained out loud between us. One of God's many miracles in my life.

Thank you.

GO FOR GRATITUDE...CAN'T HURT, MIGHT HELP

It is 5:00 AM, my feet hit the floor, my mouth is flapping, and it is saying, "It is the weather...the cold, the never ending frigid mass of grey icy air that has descended upon my head, sunk into my heart, fallen down to my gut and is freezing my toes right now this very minute, and I am sick of it, sick to death and beyond...enough, enough, enough! You got the power, God...use it already!"

At 6:00 AM, in my God Calling, I read: "...as self, and fears and worries depart out of your lives, it follows that things of the Spirit, that you crave so, rush in to take their places." (I note specifically "self" leads "fears and worries." They are written as if equal...self and fears and worries. Self first. On reflection, of course self is first. My self is never not first.) 

I remember when I first heard of writing out a gratitude list. "List everything you have to be grateful for," I was told. "Starting with the roof over your head."

You can believe I resisted that. My thinking was I SHOULD have a roof over my head, food to eat, water to drink...actually I prefer Diet Pepsi, if you don't mind? I thought a gratitude list was for the extras...the found money, the won car, the rich man, none of which seemed to be coming my way, speaking of unfair.

When I discovered that all I had to do was change my mind and my world would be brighter, I would be happier...I would be happy!...a new me was born. And I got this gift of a changed mind from the IRS! My dealings with the IRS have become my proof-positive that God is alive and well in my life...and, no, God did not pay the IRS for me. He changed my mind about my dealings with the IRS.

As God so cleverly put it, "Get happy or get drunk." I got happy, and I found the IRS to be an angel in my life. I believe that to this day...and that was thirty years ago.

So what the hey...if the IRS can be an angel in my life so can this miserable, ugly, frigid weather. I'm working on believing that.

Thank you.

FREE AT LAST

"[W]isdom is hidden by selfish desires." -- Bhagavad Gita (as quoted by Eknath Easwaran in his Words to Live By)

Change that ever so slightly to "God's will is hidden by self-determined objectives," and we have the map for our path to peace; namely, detach from our wants, open to our needs, walk free.

That is another one of those "easy to say" things...the fact is that our reasoning mind will nearly always oppose our God-determined needs, and our self-determined needs are nearly always wants that serve us...who cares if anyone else is served?

To our reasoning mind, it's a bummer that the only way to be served properly and completely is by first serving others...consciously, unconsciously, subconsciously. That's the first, last and always cause that requires us to go beyond reason...to love.

"Others" is the skeleton key that opens all our resisting doors. Because, of course, if serving others first is our conscious desire, we are not, cannot be, thinking of self.

The paradox: The ego cries, "But what about me? When will I get?" And our Soul murmurs, "Finally. I am free...I know it and I show it."

Thank you.

FORE-GIVING INTO FORGIVING

I had the thought sometime back that people who rub us the wrong way are our emery boards. It is our reaction to them, and then remembering "it's not them," that helps to smooth our resistance into acceptance. I try to remember today to think of the emery-board people in my life as my angels. 

Just this morning, I am thinking of a friend who seems to be more than a little critical of me of late...but saying nothing.  Instead of chewing her a new one in my mind (exactly the road I was heading for), it occurred to me that I may be her emery-board angel right now.

What if she's perceiving one of my defects of character as a personal insult/attack? By reacting in kind, i.e., taking it personally, I set up the chain of payback which never ends with a spiritual thought...g.d. blank is not a spiritual thought. 

Again, here's comes the Word to the rescue...as in, I get to ask myself "what is wrong with me that I cannot accept this?" Which is really just a quick reminder that this is a good thing...if done right, I'll learn a tish more about giving over, or fore-giving. Of which I can never know enough.

Thank you.

AS IF!

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can get going without pep pills,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can overlook when those you love take it out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him,
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

If you can say honestly that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion or politics,

Then, my friend, you are almost as good as your dog!

[The above contributed by a friend. Ruckus and I really appreciate...thank you, dear Mac.]

KEEPING IT SIMPLE...MADE COMPLICATED

My thoughts are all over the place this morning. High-flying thoughts. Profound. Deep. No wonder I can't get started...I'm tripping over my own self.

All I need to know...No. All I need to know and to DO is: Love God wholly and completely and love my neighbor and/or my enemy just as much.

There's the rest of my life's work cut out for me.

I think I like better Easwaran's contention that "all we want most from life is to be free of all mental compulsions that keep us from living in peace with ourselves, with others and with the environment."

That's hard enough to contemplate, but The Man's two commandments are beyond my reach this morning.

Thank you.

ON CHANCING A PEEK WITHIN

"If there is nothing in your life to cry about, if there is nothing in your life to complain about, then you must be out of touch." See why I love Fr. Richard Rohr? I love the truth of that statement of his. Yet I try not to go to it too often...else it becomes my great justifier to stay stuck and bitching about it.

It's kinda like "the human condition." How often we do less than wonderful and slide by on "that's the human condition." It may well be, but the human condition does not preclude striving for a higher state of consciousness than that of the material world.

The nonacceptance of ourselves, of our basic me-ness, not pretty but not butt-ugly either, I'm convinced, is the hook that keeps us stuck...feeling separate and apart. Or, as Rohr also says, it is our denying our pain and avoiding the necessary falling that keeps us from reaching our own spiritual depths—and therefore from reaching our own spiritual heights.

What a revelation when we realize that the only separate and apart there is is our feeling of separation from God. We re-establish our connection with God, with our Source within...voila, all's right with our world.

It's interesting how long it takes before that is the last place we choose to look...how much we suffer the "pangs of anxious apartness" before we chance a peek within to find our connection. Then do it again and yet again...until it is (nearly) the first place we look.

I'm guessing that's the human condition.

Thank you.

HERE COMES GOD'S WILL IN DISGUISE

It's a puzzlement. How can I experience, time and time again, my worst fear turning into my greatest gift, and still with a dread coming to me, my first thought is, how can I to avoid this? 

Many years ago I was going for an interview for an important (to me) job. I don't show well in interviews, and my only prayer to God was to get me through it without my anxiety showing. More specifically, to get me through it without having an anxiety attack. That was my only prayer, and, truth to tell, it was more begging than praying. 

I was rigid with fear, holding onto self-control...holding onto self...and the interviewer gave me an application to fill in. Just as I was signing my name, anxiety slammed me. I started shaking, rigidity became a pool of sweat, I couldn't hold onto the pen, self-control flew out the door. I just sat there, knowing I'd be working somewhere else, probably McDonald's, and that's only if I got lucky.

And here came my miracle. The interviewer, an older, rigid, righteous and right-looking lady said, "Oh, my dear, do you suffer anxiety, too?" (Get that? "TOO!") 

With that, my eyes and nose started running simultaneously, and I could only nod my head and wonder what was happening. 

What was happening was she stopped the interview, we shared our hate of anxieties, she asked me a few more questions, said, "I think you're just what we need for this job,” and I was hired. 

As I walked out the door, I knew, had I been able to hold onto my self, I would never have gotten the job. I was blessed with the insight that I had presented myself to the interviewer as rigid, righteous and right, and a tish above it all to boot. It was the humanizing anxiety attack that got me my job. God's will rarely comes looking like a pot of gold...probably because it's better than that.

To get back to my original thought: With that as my very own experience, why, when I see a dread coming to me, is my first thought still how to avoid it? But, to give myself points, my second thought is: Here comes God's will in disguise.

Thank you.

GRACE THROUGH NONRESISTANCE

IF

IF you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

-- Rudyard Kipling

IS IT A BOON OR IS IT A BANE?

There's a line in Rudyard Kipling's wonderful poem, If, about treating victory and defeat the same. I'm told it is over the players' door that leads out onto the tennis courts at Wimbledon...something about being able to meet victory or defeat and "treating those imposters the same."

That pretty much answers one of the trickier questions in life: Is it a boon or is it a bane? The answer is, both. The answer is, neither. It just is. In getting to that acceptance, I'm reminded of the line in the old country song about being an old lump of coal "but I'm going to be a diamond some day." Bane to boon.

I love the line in the Introduction to God Calling: "...He will not remove the gold from the crucible until all the dross has gone...." It goes on to say, "...you are taking the glorious shape of your true self which His eye alone has foreseen."

If that is true, and if we're seeing ugly in our life right this minute, we need only remember to turn it around a tish...lift it up...view it from another angle. Look at it through God's eyes. When we're seeing ugly, we're just seeing the dross that is already in the process of being removed. Lest we forget, it is in the process of being removed by God. We work with Him, we walk free.

Coal has the same splendor as gold...it's just not completed yet. Same as you and me.

Thank you.

THE GIFT OF COMING TO WIT'S END

In the material world we make many decisions daily...hourly, in fact. It's kinda like picking a this or a that...go the grocery now or walk the dog now? I suspect it's our ego that keeps us tied to that simplistic idea of making a decision. So that, when it comes to making The Big Decisions (to marry this one with whom I think I maybe in love? to move across country without a job lined up?), we get doubly confused because in order to make the big decisions is to not rely on our reasoning mind. The big decision is never to marry or not, to move or not, to do anything or not...the big decision is a positive. It is to turn our reasoning mind over to the care of the God we're not sure even exists!

In our reasoning mind world, what we are resisting is not the decision, of course, it is fear of making the wrong decision.

In God's invisible world, what we are resisting is the fear of crashing and burning, a.k.a., surrendering. Surrender by anybody's standard means to lose. That is not a good solution to our ego-victory reasoning mind.

We must go beyond reason...talk about scary! That's where our fail-safe has always been...our reasoning mind. It becomes obvious that to go beyond reason is to hold our nose and take a leap of faith...when we're fairly certain that we don't have enough faith to begin with! The key is in realizing that a pinpoint of faith is a boatload to God...enough and more than enough.

That is God's gift to us, and that is how we come to surrender...wit's end. There. That is the essence of perfected pain...not knowing and making a decision at the same time. Those who have truly hit rock bottom, splatter. In that splatter is our gold for only God can put us together again. Without a thought, without a hope, we let It...we have no choice. We have splattered...we have surrendered.

It's all paradox: We have to lose to win...we must feel hopeless to get hope. And the Invisible becomes visible in our life.

Thank you.

WE'D RATHER HAVE GOD'S WILL THAN OUR WILL

This morning's blinding flash of the obvious: Decide for higher than you think possible, then seek God's will in whatever.

My reasoning mind's interpretation of that is that we can desire the best, whatever we perceive the best to be, then go for it...do our part in achieving it. However, we need always remain aware that God's will may be for something else....something better that will no doubt look worse to our naked eye.

The most important point we need to remember at all times: We would rather have God's will done in our life than our own will.

Thank you.

ON CHANGING...OUR MIND, OUR WAYS

I am reminded of the wonderful Chekhov quote, "We shall find peace. We shall hear angels. We shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds!"

Who knew that all that is our gift when we become willing to change? And the only real change we need make begins with our mind?

This comes to me sometimes when I hear The Lord's Prayer being "corrected" to "give us this day our daily strength [replacing 'bread']." Or words in the Bible being changed, particularly and specifically gender words.

I recall hearing about Kris Kristofferson's Sunday Morning Coming Down being introduced by Johnny Cash on his weekly TV show. The network was adamant that Cash change the phrase "wishing, Lord, that I was stoned" to "wishing, Lord, that I was home." Cash did not promise, he simply said, "We'll see."

He sang "stoned," and Kristofferson later said he did not know which way Cash would sing it, and he cried when he sang it the way it was written. When Cash was asked why he didn't change the word, he said, "That's the way the man wrote it. If I wanted to change it, I'd write my own song."

My thinking is, when I hear changes being made to the Lord's Prayer, the Serenity Prayer, the Bible, if you want it changed, write your own prayers, write your own bible. See how far that gets you!

Thank you.

GOD'S INVISIBLE WORK IS ALREADY DONE

Things are not always what they seem. Sometimes the bad is not, and the good is less than wonderful. 

I was talking with a long-time friend yesterday, and she was relating her experience with her sister who, briefly, is dumping on my friend for all her woes of yesteryear when they were growing up. My friend was a tish proud of herself because she realized that all that dumping represented how much her sister had loved her and needed her back then, and how my friend had failed her sister.

As a sidebar, here comes one of the benefits of long-time friendships: I remembered some 25 years ago when this exact same thing was happening, and how my friend had worked her way through it then, admitted her wrongs, made her amends and became a better person for it. 

On hearing this same story again, it seemed to me that Sister had apparently not become a better person for it, she'd just saved it for use another day. And Friend was seeing again "all that dumping represented how much her sister had loved her and needed her back then, and how my friend had failed her sister" and probably considering making amends.

I reminded my friend of that, and she was, "Oh yeah! That's right, and that's not all...she, etc., etc., etc." Resentment aborning. We chatted, and it occurred to us that this is my friend's golden opportunity to begin learning how to not fight...anything, anybody...but also not be a dumping ground for anything, anybody. 

Ding-dong...God calling!

This is God's proving ground...we get to prove God does have our back, not by begging her to show herself by doing for us, but by going into the silence. By turning within and letting God flow forth.  

We are told that all God's promises will come true if we work for them...our mistake is believing that our work is in doing, doing, doing to get them to come true. No. It is going into the silence and realizing God there. 

We don't take our problem into the silence, we take nothing but our belief that God is there for us and his perfection can and will flow out from within for the benefit of all...not for me, not for you, but for us, for all. Friend, known and unknown; enemy, known and unknown...all.

We finally realize our true job in life is simply coming to believe that God's invisible work is already done...in us, for us.

Thank you.

GOD ALWAYS PROVIDES

[The following is a reprint of my blog of November 27, 2008.]

I thought this morning of a woman I knew (minimally…I was the secretary to her attorney) many years ago in California. She was of Hungarian birth, was very rich, and she loved to talk of her youth when she fled Hungary just as the Nazi army was moving in. She had a hair-raising story to tell.

Her family was very wealthy, had royal blood according to her, and I had no reason to doubt her. But almost (which is the operative word here) all they had, had already been confiscated, and it was looking dire for their survival. She and her parents barely escaped in the dead of the night, with all they owned on their backs.

The “almost” included several pieces of very fine jewelry which she and her mother pinned and sewed to the underwear they were wearing.

When they got to America, they converted the jewelry to cash, settled in, and, long story short, through lousy investments, lost everything. By now, her parents had passed on, she was alone without a penny to bless herself with, and she prayed that God would come to her aid.

She came across the petticoat that her mother had worn out of Europe, was wadding it up to throw it away and felt a lumpy something…she shook the petticoat out, and there, pinned on the underside, was an emerald and diamond broach they had missed. She had her nest egg.  (And may I say, I never saw her but that she had that broach pinned to her shoulder…in the morning, at noon, or in the evening). 

Most interesting, she swore then and every time she told the story that she had never laid eyes on that broach before the day she “found” it, and she knew well all the pieces that they had since there were only a half dozen or so pieces. 

I love this story, and I love it not for the mystery of the broach which I tend to believe was her way of making a good story better (and I’d do the same!). I love it for the fact that she always had enough…she just did not know it, and until she asked for God’s help, could not see it.

God’s job is to provide…our job is to trust that.

Thank you.

SELF-EXAMINATION V. SELF-ANALYSIS

I wonder if self-forgetfulness isn't the greatest freedom? And isn't the way to real self-forgetfulness through self-examination? Some great old Greek guy once wrote or said (something like), "An unexamined life is a life not worth living." 

Our lesson learned comes in learning the difference between self-examination and "figuring it out," or self-analysis unto paralysis. 

I don't believe we can have a truly self-examined life without someone else's ears hearing us, hearing what we're turning up in our self-examination and, with God’s guidance, pointing us in the right direction...away from ego toward God. 

Self-analysis is usually done when we're all alone, contemplating either the wrongs that have been done to us or justifying that which wasn't really a wrong, as such, that we did. For maximum self-pity and/or self-hate, it is best done at 3:00 AM…at 3:00 AM, it is always all about self.

For maximum self-forgetfulness, there is nothing that tops listening to another with our spiritual growth in mind. Then we can't listen in order to advise. Nor can we listen in order to placate, control, manage, manipulate...in short, we can't listen for anything that has to do with us, personally. 

We listen in order to truly hear the other with God's guidance...which means that we listen in silence with our only thought being "thank you." That clears our channel for God to speak and also shows forth our gratitude to the speaker for trusting us to be available to hear him or her.

I'm of the belief that we cannot listen spiritually to another with self on our mind. That is self-forgetfulness.

Thank you.

ALL PATHS LEAD TO GOD 2

I'm reminded again this morning of one of my favorite stories from the Old Testament (of which I know next to nothing so this is a story I can refer to yet not come close to quoting correctly...but the sense of it is right).

It's the story of Joseph, having been sold into slavery by his brothers, ending up as the right-hand man to the pharaoh. Famine hits, his brothers are down, broke and starving, they hightail it to Joseph, begging understanding, forgiveness and a piece of his pie since he's now in the catbird seat. And they're there with excuses up the gump-stump for selling him into slavery in the first place. Which leads to my favorite punch line: He says to them, "You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good."

That sentence never fails to help me turn my hurt heart around. I like to think I've vanquished my victim, but then Garth or Sylvia or Ruckus slights me, and hurt? angry? feeling unlovedunwantedunneededunappreciated (that is always one word to my hurt)? You betcha.

It is stories like that...quotes, experiences of others...that I hold onto, that I recall as needed, in order to turn my hurt into gold. I know from my own experience that if I upgrade my attitude, I upgrade my problem. 

I was talking with my best friend from high school recently. We'd lost track and reconnected awhile back, and we were sharing the happenings of our lives. We've both got a lot of mud on our tires, but we're content with the choices we made to get where we are right this minute. 

My friend and I agreed that the golden goose of complete defeat which led to surrender is what got us our freedom...and we took two entirely different paths to get there. 

I'm a believer that all paths lead to God, ultimately. The path we choose is entirely up to us...or is it, really, God's gift to us?

Thank you.

ALL PATHS LEAD TO GOD

[The following is a reprint of my blog of December 31, 2009.]

“The Infinite Invisible, acting as man and circumstances, helps us to play our part in the drama of life.” - Joel Goldsmith, Letters

There it is.

There’s the key to erasing every rue, regret, remorse in life…it’s also the key to erasing every proud judgment of "I’m better than she is/he is/they are."

God acts as us, as our circumstances, in helping us play our part in the passion play of life.

All paths lead to God, and God knows what I need to bring me Home. [TODAY'S NOTE TO ME: So quit bitching and get grateful.]

Thank You.

CLING TO NOTHING...FLY!

Years ago when I was stuck in indecision, I called a friend for advice. He was very helpful, but the card I received from him a couple days later was the basis for my final decision. The front of the card was all shades of pale yellow into mustard into lavender into purple and at the edge of the lavender into purple was the figure of a bird in flight rising upward. Inside he had written, "Cling to nothing...fly!"

Today if I can't decide whether to stay at this job, in this home, in this relationship, with a justified hurt or peeve...the answer is the same, "Cling to nothing...fly!"

The secret, however, is that our feet need not move...it is our ego-victory thoughts that we must let loose...let them fly so the word of God, wrapped in peace, can enter. And the word of God wrapped in peace most often turns out to be the very thing we were resisting. It is our resistance that we've been clinging to.

We must listen not to resist but to hear in another way, to hear another view, to hear God's word. God's word a whole lot of the time comes from the one person we do not want to hear from...to hear anything from, as in, I've heard enough from her already, and when will he just shut up?! There...that's when God's word is falling from those lips.

This just in: The majority of the members of Congress are millionaires...voting against aid for the poor, food stamps, unemployment insurance. OK, God, I'm listening.

"And the word of God wrapped in peace most often turns out to be the very thing we were resisting. It is our resistance that we've been clinging to." I believe, help me my unbelief.

Thank you.

FEAR NO THOUGHT...WELCOME ALL

We are what our thoughts have made us; so take care about what you think. Words are secondary. Thoughts live; they travel far. -- Swami Vivekananda

The Swami is no doubt right, but to be afraid of negative thoughts is to welcome negative thoughts....fear them not, welcome them. Welcome them into the Light where you can see them for what they are....nothing, nothing and less than nothing. For there cannot be a negative thought without a positive side to that thought...just turn it till you find your gold. Then love it, laugh and move on.

Thank you.

LOOSE THEM AND LET THEM GO

I got up this morning saying to myself, "My attack thoughts are on the march." I picked up one of my books of daily spiritual insights, and today’s message is, "I pray I may welcome difficulties." Don't tell me God isn't aware of my every need.

I sat down and listed some of the things my attack thoughts are revisiting...nothing new nor different which is the good news. But in the sitting and pondering, a blinding flash of the obvious: All of these are God's "rod and staff." What a comfort that is to me. Which is exactly what my beloved 23rd Psalm promises.

All my uglies were hand-picked by me. Maybe it's like that old novelty song says, "When they were passing out noses, I thought they said roses, and I said, 'I'll have a big red one.'" But for sure, when I was making my selections, I was following my ego's dictates, and the ego always legislates for itself. So these are the tools I chose. I have used them for years, and they never did for me what my ego promised...and promises still. 

Here’s the good news…I get to regift them! I get to give them over to God which God then uses as his rod and staff to bring me back into the fold, his world. 

This is why I pray I may welcome difficulties...to give to God for him to use for my benefit. Otherwise, they remain my ego's self-determined objectives, and I'm just building more rues, regrets and remorses.

Thank you.

THEY DON'T WANT ANSWERS

Over the years, I’ve come across a few acquaintances who pride themselves on their discerning minds. Unfortunately, when I’ve been caught in the crosshairs of their “discernment,” it has felt like an inquisition, and I have reacted less than wonderfully. My prayer for me at that time has been, “Just don’t be as nasty as you want to be.” I have sometimes succeeded.

In my ever-so-humble opinion, I find they don’t want answers, they want certain answers. They will question, not until they understand what is being said, but until they approve of what is being said. By the time they approve, what was being said has been altered, changed, redirected…lost, in a word…simply in order to stop the inquisition.

It is that same-old-same-old need to be right. According to Fr. Richard Rohr, “This need to be right reached its nadir in what we today call fundamentalism, common in almost all religions, and in most political discourse today.”

There it is. “Fundamentalism” is a red flag to me, and anything that leads to “most political discourse today” is a big red flag to me.

I remind me: This problem has already been solved…let it stand up on its own two feet and prove it.

God has its work cut out for me.

Thank you.

THE ART OF LOVING

[Sometime in the late 1970s, I read "Lazy Man's Guide to Enlightenment," by Thaddeus Golas. The following is from a dream I had way back then that I wrote down and just rediscovered. The idea for this came directly from Golas's "Guide."]

I prayed to God, confessing that I know not how to love. I asked him to please show me, teach me how to love with the love that was of Christ Jesus. When I looked up, there before me was an ugly monster…grotesque in every way. I felt revulsion and turned away.

And a Voice asked, “What was it that you thought needed to be loved?”

I prayed to God, and I asked him to please, please show me, teach me how to love with the love of Christ. When I looked up, there before me was a very beautiful lady…perfect in every way. But when she spoke, harsh judgments came from her mouth. I felt superior and turned away.

And a Voice asked, “What was it that you thought needed to be loved?”

I prayed to God, and I begged him to show me, teach me how to love with the love of Christ. When I looked up, there before me was a most nondescript man…average in every way. I was bored and turned away.

And a Voice asked, “What was it that you thought needed to be loved?”

I prayed to God, confessing that I know not how to love. And I looked up and there I stood…ugly in my mind, harsh judgments on my lips, average in every way.

And a Voice said, “Beloved.”

Thank you.

HERE AND NOW

[The following is a reprint of my blog of January 1, 2013.]

It is resistance to what is that causes mental paralysis.

It is our ego's legislating for itself (which is its natural state so we can only recognize that, not change that) that causes us pain. It is our attempts to avoid pain that bring the unintended consequence...of pain.

It is our nonresistance to our idea/fear of pain that leads us out of ourselves into God.

Primarily, the pain we are trying to avoid is psychic pain. Psychic pain is entirely personal, based in fear, and, if our choice is freedom from the bondage of self, there is no way around it...we must go through it.

We walk through it, unresisting (sometimes known as "beaten"), we get to the other side...lo, it's a miracle, life is good. Sometimes, life is good only because we got to the other side, but the overwhelming majority of the time, life is good because we have received a gift beyond our ability to plan for...we never knew it existed. It is understanding beyond our reasoning mind. 

This is the pearl beyond price...this is God consciousness. The open field of nonresistance, acceptance, I'm not right/you're not wrong, and it makes no never mind anyway since we're both winners...and this place is only available to us right here and right now.

Thank You.

HOW LONG, OH LORD?

I am having the devil's own time getting right with my head and my gut...my head knows that forgiveness/acceptance/love (that is one word) is the answer. My gut, however, is PEEved! And justifiably so, may I state upfront and clearly.

And here comes my blinding flash of the obvious, for which I am not all that pleased, but thank you anyway.

BFO: I'm hunkered down against a cement wall, I am angry, vibes of ugly are spewing from me. I am guarding my uglies, and I am attracting the same ugly right back from any and all who pass by. Across the plaza is the Lord, sitting amidst pots and pots and pots of love...surrounded by oceans of love. I absolutely know I can have all that love and more if I'll just let go of my ugly; i.e., my want, my ego-victory want, to punish, to shame s/he who is the certifiable cause of all my anger.

Like Jack Benny...I'm thinking about it.

Please, thank you, amen.

Thank you.

AND ONCE MORE WE PRAY OUR THANK YOU

Regrets are resistance to what is, maybe to a happening once upon a time. By regretting we are trying to make what happened unhappen. Our regrets, however, breathe life into what was, and it now walks in our head...it now is.

Why is the very futility of that a spur to our ego to try harder? Why not say nay to our ego and go for still more spiritual growth instead?

Eckhart Tolle has written, "Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness." If that is true, then what we are regretting was and is necessary to our spiritual evolution.

And here come gratitude, riding in on its big white horse (whose name is "Welcome")! Again and again and yet again...just say, "Thank you."

Thank you.

THINGS THAT HOOKED MY HEART IN 2013

Things that hooked my heart in 2013 that I then started practicing and have every hope of continuing to act on in 2014:

More suffering comes into the world by people taking offense than by people intending to give offense. -- Ken Keyes To know and show this (to me) is my daily want-to for 2014.

The common good keeps coming to my attention...I want to hold it there until "the common good" is my reaction base. Then live it.

We must do the hard work of learning to live a generative life for others, living out our sacred soul task in service to the world. -- This, when I'm asked to do an easy something that will only take my time...and still I hesitate. Quit hesitating.

How you do anything is how you do everything! For our spirituality to be authentic, we must practice unitive consciousness in our conversations, problem solving, politics, vocations, lifestyle, and even our dying. I'd best clean up my "anything." And the cleaning up begins quite simply...by becoming willing to change my mind. Then let God change it.

Our contemplative practice is a 'laboratory' in which we learn to die to our passing emotions and thoughts and to receive the always-permanent Divine gaze. Practice, practice, practice. This is the daily discipline necessary in order for me to let God change my mind.

Love is our true self. Know it and show it.

Thank you.

THIS IS THE YEAR!

This Is the Year!

Wonderful, wonderful, fortunate you,

This is the year that your dreams come true!

This is the year that your ships come in;

This is the year you find Christ within.

This is the year you are glad to live;

This is the year you have much to give.

This is the year when you know the Truth; 

This is the year when you find new youth.

This is the year that brings happiness;

This is the year you will live to bless.

Wonderful, wonderful, fortunate you,

This is the year that your dreams come true!

-- Russell A. Kemp