It seems like forever ago when I got a glimmer of
understanding about the difference between self-knowledge through therapy and
self-knowledge through spiritual growth.
My short form version is that therapy helps me take care of
myself, stand up for myself, defend myself, in short. Spiritual growth brings
me into the awareness that I am taken care of, all my needs have already been
met, that God has my back.
My job today is to be ever vigilant in not taking over God’s
job…and the simplest (not easiest) way is by letting the other person off the
hook. I have read that it is a spiritual axiom that whenever I am upset, no
matter what the cause, there is something wrong with me. And, in
general, I do not get right with me by going to whomever I’m calling
the cause of my upset to “talk it over.”
But the fact is I am a work in progress, and I will be till
three days after I’m dead. I do know that saying nothing when I’m hurt or angry
is sometimes simply breeding a resentment and calling it spiritual growth.
My spiritual growth requires a lot of foot work…I first have
to check me out; i.e., has this happened before? If so, what was my part in it
then? and now? I’ve never let anybody off the hook when I truly believed they
were 100% wrong…or more precisely I was 100% right. Once I get a fix on my
part, I find it a lot easier to truly try to understand the motives of the
other person, why s/he used the hurtful words or actions…and even when I don’t
agree they were right, the understanding releases my resentment which is
paramount to me.
But my underlying reason must ever be not for my peace of
mind alone, but for all concerned’s peace of mind…there is no true peace
when only one walks away whistling.
Thank You.
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