I am reminded again that all I need do to upgrade my self-centered problem du jour is change my mind about it, or, more precisely, change the way I'm looking at it.
For instance, one of my rues, regrets and remorses used to wake me at 2:00 AM and be as real as if it happened five minutes ago, each time feeling worse, sinking my heart lower. It had to do with a time back in the day when in a blind fit of self-centered anger, I showed my true colors (puce and brown) to my small world and suffered embarrassment...which as the years flew by became in my mind humiliation, degradation, etc., etc., etc.
One dark night in my imaginings I was wondering for what did that need to happen? Where was God then? And I realized that I had no way of knowing but what my self-centered, uncontrolled anger might have caused considerably worse to happen but for the intervention of my angels. I could very well have gotten in my car, and, driving out-of-control, hit someone and killed them...killed a mother and her baby...or a dog...the ugly possibilities are endless, all of them so much worse than simply embarrassing myself. I no longer suffer regret over that happening.
I use this today for any coulda, woulda, shoulda thought whether I'm back in the day or anywhere but here and how.
My mind, left to wander freely, will almost always find something to natter me about. I've learned to be ready to change channels immediately if not sooner...thank You is my quick-start solution. If I debate for a second, shoulda wins every time. So a quick thank You for the very thing I'm ready to regret removes the resistance, and I can find a new way of looking at it. This all takes less than a minute, and I'm over building more rues, regrets and remorses.
Thank You.
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