Most of my today's rues, regrets and remorses are me re-thinking what/how I did something and r.r.r.'ng that I didn't do it another way. When, in fact, had I done it another way, I'd be r.r.r.'ng that for the same reason.
I was remembering this morning a young man sitting alone in his wheelchair outside of Hospice a couple of years back. I walked by, paused and exchanged nice-nice, and went on. This morning my thoughts went to how he was clearly dying, he was at hospice for heaven's sake and all alone outside, I shoulda stopped and chatted, I shoulda...what? Made it all better for him? How?
How do I know he wasn't grateful that I didn't stop and interrupt his time alone...that may have been his one wish, i.e., to be alone, away from people trying to make it all better for him.
I sent a quick thank You that I did it exactly as I did it and recognized again that that is how I let go of r.r.r.s...find the gold in it the minute the remorse rears its ugly head, and thank God that I am guided by spiritual principles today. That when (not if) I fail and go for yet another self-determined objective, with nobody but me in mind, I know what to do.
Sidebar: I was reminded that spiritual principles are my guide today because of a happening just last week when some friends and I were at dinner. I was talking and one friend interrupted to say she didn't want to talk about it. To which I snapped, "Then don't talk...listen." I immediately knew that was rude and wrong and said so..."That was mean, and I apologize." She smiled and indicated that she was good with that, and it was over.
We're still friends, and still more spiritual growth...on both our parts...gets all the credit.
Thank You.
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