My blinding flash of the obvious this morning: I must pay the consequences for my inactions.
I cannot deny to myself that it was my decision to not get doctor-ordered checkups...probably decided by depression which I still deny as real to me...yet use it as an excuse.
Add to that my inaction by not getting and maintaining socialization...simply calling others to chat, invite to lunch, etc. I am inactively aware that my reaching out is what I need to do now more than ever.
From my eyebrows up, I can say that all of this that I am seeing is already healed by the Father within. But those are just so many words, unrealizable, of course, until after the fact.
To benefit I must walk it through in real time...call for doctor appointments, go to doctor, take all the materially necessary steps...and stop any CYA excuses from leaving my mind for a walk-around.
This is for my own benefit...benefit being for my own spiritual growth.
The question is whether I will do it...this is an unanswerable question until I do or do not do that which I have committed myself to.
Uh-oh...comes the light: When our answers are found in looking back, we're going down that wrong road again. When we do what we are committed to do, our mind is centered in the Now where regrets are invitations to change.
Thank you.
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