New today: I almost cannot believe this. I just now "happened" on this previous post of mine...just as I (along with my ego Lucy, of course) was running my mind on Gertrude whose toes I realize I stepped on. We apparently thought this was a new, different and altogether enlightening happening for I was fretting on how to handle it. And along comes my own piece...from, please note, April 13, 2012!:
I am proving to myself again (how long, oh Lord!) that my conscience is a power within me, and I am powerless over it. That about half way peeves me...yet, what did I think I was working so hard to achieve when I started on this path?
I did step on Judd's toes because I chose to be provoked by him who, I know full well, provokes me just by breathing. And how spiritual is that? He is reacting in kind...provoked, and I am now mentally justifying, wrangling, resisting Judd's resistance. With my conscience saying, "You can justify till your face falls off...then you gotta do right."
I know him to be a pebble in my shoe, I know to go closer, be kinder, seek to understand rather than to be understood. Yet I went with my ego and virtually slung mud in my own face. I am grateful that I know from my own experience that closer, kinder works...more importantly, I know that that is the only thing that works in getting me over me. Ahem...and there's the difference between knowing from the eyebrows up and showing from the heart.
The sliver of gold: Because I know, if only from my eyebrows up, that I am the source of all my woes, I seek God's blessing on my thoughts about Judd, that they be purified according to my Father's lights, and that I be willing to follow his directions.
Thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment