In my quiet time this morning, in pondering fear, I caught the mirror image of God's world and fear became love. I can accept that. It is fear that pushes us toward God for sure. Fear it is that we can rely on to motivate us to seek still more spiritual growth...consistently.
It is our egoic reasoning mind that resists fear, that urges us to run, hide, lie, any means is fine by ego to get away from fear. No. Our transformed self knows to go toward our fear...feel the fear and do it anyway is the quiet word.
As I age, I am experiencing young-me feelings, trepidations, anxieties. Things I once felt anxious about, those fears which I had allayed, are showing up, trying to do my thinking for me. And I rejoice.
It is for this that I am still seeking spiritual answers...and finding them.
I am guessing that these uh-ohs are revisiting me in order to be embraced...to get their kiss on the lips. It was mostly self-will, grit and guts that I used originally...with a lot of Please, God, do for me thrown in. Which was close enough to spiritual growth at the time...got me through anyhow. But now in my twilight years (eek!), I'm getting the opportunity to unclench, detach...love the unlovable, and call it grace.
And I am, and I do, and I am grateful.
Thank you.
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