ALL IS WELL

I was weeping for my little boy and for my mentor recently...weeping almost uncontrollably...after which I had a pounding headache.

I was taken up short by a thought reminding me of what is written about emotional hangovers. Not to put too fine a point on it, but they come from giving in to a boatload of negative emotions...and that we cannot afford.

I was a tish stupefied by my reminder, my first thought being, "Yes, but...." Negative emotions spent for love, in sympathy, with no selfish attaching? They cannot be unaffordable, they are for someone else, not for me!

But aren't they? Neither my mentor nor my little guy was with me...my mentor was thirty miles away and Ruckus was sound asleep on the sofa.

I realized by the ache of my pounding head that "weeping almost uncontrollably" was for me. The physical condition of each of my loved ones was simply my ticket to ride., i.e., my projecting inwardly my favorite fear, "left alone." Then reveling in it.

Appropriate grief tears in the appropriate timeframe are just that...appropriate. But weeping uncontrollably (and two weeks after receiving the less-than-wonderful news) is my ego Lucy on parade with me applauding as she marches.

But, hey! What a wonderful passel of lessons I was gifted with: (1) the value of staying in the Now; (2) knowing God at my back, always; (3) knowing that Lucy, too, will ever be there for me...let her and laugh; and (4) the best, knowing that God laughs with us...all is well.

Thank you.