ON STAYING THE COURSE

I am often reminded that the hardest thing I shall ever be asked to do is to change my mind. And then I smash flat up against the fact that I cannot change my mind all on my own just for the wanting. The wanting sends me to God who sends me back with a reminder to get started and a promise that he'll work through me as long as I stay the course.

I learned that through my favorite daily reader. As I often note, I read "God Calling" every morning and have most every day for the past 40 years. When I started reading that little book, I thought it was about God speaking to two little ladies in England. It took a while, I can't remember how long, before I realized it was Jesus talking.

I was less than happy about that. I wanted no truck with Jesus; I'd lived too long in a real fear that God was going to make me a Jesus freak...or a nun, Jesus's bride. Whoa! Still gives me the willies.

But the book was so helpful in lifting me up...out of self into God...that I couldn't just stop reading it. (I probably did for awhile but if so it didn't last...thank you.) My point being, all I had to do was change my mind. I did not realize that until long after the fact, but that was it. I began by asking God to help me not be afraid of Jesus, then I tried to work with him toward that goal. I told myself...a lot...that I did not need to be afraid of Jesus, nor of Billy Graham's version of Jesus...no, not even the Pope's.

Then cosmically a little-known fact about the Sermon on the Mount came to me, a fact that was personal to me. That changed my mind. Still it took several years before I got comfortable with my understanding of Jesus which, admittedly, doesn't match everybody's. My great blessing is I know it doesn't have to.

God answered my prayer...I stayed the course.

Thank you.