LOVE BEGETS LOVE

My dream: I'm all bent out of shape over what I think they think. I'm judging them for judging me. I know they have found me guilty without ever talking to me to hear my side. I know they all agree that I am wrong and they are right, and they will shame me silently in the public square.

I awoke to the thought that this is my greatest fear, being secretly shamed in the silent open.

In pondering my dream, I'm hit with the realization that I keep my greatest fear riding herd by my reactive judging...it is not their judging me, it is me judging them that causes my obsessive pain.

I tested this for several minutes and found when I turn to any kind thought toward them...any kind thought at all...I am quieted. There comes a feeling of peace which, when held, grows and becomes loving...until I invite a defensive thought up and out. The fear with its lash-back springs forth as if it had never gone away.

I had the dream last night, and these are from my readings this morning:

We all needed to prove we were right. Have you noticed that people who need to prove they are right cannot laugh or smile? * * * My true identity and my deepest freedom comes from God’s infinite love for me, not from what people think of me or say about me. Both the people who praise me and those who hate me are usually doing it for the wrong reasons.  -- Fr. Richard Rohr, "Daily Meditation," December 17, 2014.

Love begets love. - Eknath Easwaran, "Words to Live By," December 17.

I love when I realize a spiritual answer and right after read that which tells me I'm on the right track heading in the right direction.

God loves me so much...you, too.

Thank you.