It has happened again…why am I still surprised when I give
up fighting that the way is cleared?
This past Wednesday some friends called to see if I’d like
to get together for burgers this evening, and I was all over that…yes
indeedy. It wasn't until yesterday afternoon that I recalled that I have a
late lunch scheduled today, and I have a standing Sunday brunch with friends.
That’s three meals out in two days, and that’s too much…too much eating, too
much money.
My first thought after remembering my lunch date today
was…LIE. Tell my burger friends I’m coming down with a cold…nobody loves you
when you’re coming down with a cold. Fortunately, I wait on second thoughts
today, and I had second, third, fourth, etc. Each one coming a tish closer to
the truth. When I finally hit the wall with my rationalizations, I decided that
I’d made the date, I can take the consequences…and how hard is it to have
friends who want to get together with me for three meals straight?
Not an hour later, my phone rings…burgers tonight are out. I
didn’t have to lie (which I knew I wouldn’t, but that is still my ego’s first
line of defense), nor did I have to beg forgiveness, with a pinch of guilt
thrown in so they’d feel bad if they didn't accept my apology…I know ‘em all,
unfortunately. But, good news, knowing all those less than wonderful ways
doesn't mean I have to use them…anymore.
What I like to contemplate is: Would the burgers have been
canceled if I hadn't made the decision to go forward, simply accepting
the consequences? If I’d gone for the ego victory?
I might not be able to prove one way or the other, but I do
know I would have set in motion, by my decision based on self, others dissing
me later…and the rush of poor, pitiful, put-upon me being all mine again. Nothing is worth that.
Thank You.
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