SAY, BELIEVE: I DO NOT KNOW

I wonder if the reasoning mind, and most especially the well-educated reasoning mind, isn't the great impediment to spiritual growth, by which I mean God.

When I was in college, I took a battery of tests which lasted for hours (I remember it as days, but surely that's faulty memory), at the end of which I was found to be at the genius level. That label was the single hardest thing I had to overcome to even begin to develop a God of my own understanding. (Have I mentioned that I did not make grades in college?...whole 'nother story.) For me, apparently, "genius" equated to "yes, but..." when it came to God or matters of God.

I see that often today with people who sincerely want to believe in a loving God...but their reasoning mind just cannot/will not let go of the "facts" as they know them.

It is excruciatingly painful for a smart person to say, out loud and sincerely, "I do not know." It is even more painful to allow that there is Something that does know, is on our side, will fix the problem in the best way possible for us personally, especially when s/he has a hint that "the best way possible" according to It looks less than wonderful to him...is, in fact, an "Oh no, not that!" to her reasoning mind.

It is only by taking that leap of faith that we find that that less-than-wonderful is...wonderful. And all we really have to do is change our mind...in effect, hold our nose and take a leap of faith.

It was a great gettin' up morning when I realized that, for me, God's reality of good is more than often in exact reverse of my reality of good. I have had it happen too often to count...I dread, I pray my dread to not happen, it happens...it turns out to be my good.

I realized that I saved time and anxiety when I learned to welcome my dread. I started very irreverently (in case I looked like a fool to God) by saying/praying, "Knock yourself out, God...I'm trusting that which  I'm seeing coming is for my good. I don't know, and You're supposed to."

Obviously, my results were more than acceptable to me, or I wouldn't still be thinking, feeling, being, doing it...to the extent that today a simple "Thank You" suffices.

Thank You.