Blinding flash of the obvious: I need to commit to the spiritual fact that raised consciousness is for our good when it feels not so good.
That's a tough one since I wonder whether my raised consciousness isn't the driver of my anxiety, my fears...fear of dementia being today's blue-plate special.
I once believed that raised consciousness made experiencing life easier...softer. Well, NO. It makes clear that crucifixion is crucifixion. There is no comfy crucifixion, there is Glory in crucifixion. (Uh, the glory part is from belief as opposed to actual experience.)
My crucifixion equivalent today...paltry though it be...is the package of self-stuff, i.e., $1,300 physical therapy bill, Honda recall, car repairs, injured leg and foot. All one for my benefit...for me to walk through feeling...realizing...the love of God in me is in this guiding light I am following.
There is no creature comfort enlightenment...the comfort is in meeting life's glitches on their terms, kissing them on the lips to be moved on up deeper Thy will, Thy way.
The Father alive in me is me doing what I do in reliance on the God of my understanding and accepting that as my best in and at that moment. That often looks right shabby to my reasoning mind's eyes, but shabby is God's perfect will for me in that moment.
Shabby, thy name is humility.
Thank you.
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