GOD AND I HAVE MET THIS FEAR & CAN AGAIN

God looks for us when our lostness is so convoluted and so profound, we can’t even pretend to look for God. But even in such bleak and hopeless places, God finds us. This is amazing grace. And it is ours. —Debie Thomas, Daily Meditation, November 30, 2024 

That describes me this morning at my 3:00 dark night of my soul... deciding/questioning/ deciding/ questioning..."go to VHC ER later? Stay home to pray and meditate?" 

At 5:40 AM I read today's God Calling...talk about a direct answer: 

The Eternal God is thy refuge. - Deut. xxxiii.27: A place to flee to, a sanctuary. An escape...from yourself....from yourself whither can you flee? To the Eternal God your refuge. *** Till in His immensity you forget your...limitations. *** Till the relief of safety merges into Joy...of your refuge, and you absorb the Divine and absorbing gain strength to conquer.

That IS a direct answer from Almighty God. 

Yet my next thought is, I believe, oh Lord, help me my unbelief. 

It isn't that I don't believe, it is that I fear my own belief. "Is it odd or is it God?" plays with my mind. 

There's my problem...I dare not allow the God of my understanding to be all I need. I want it, I want that, but I fear that is me trying to take the easy way out.

Easy? Easy way out? Whoa! 

Going to ER, getting all manner of medical-material help is good, or not bad, helpful even, but that is just staying with the reasoning-mind way, when I know I need to trust God's will, God's way.

I have made the turn and now need to step out in my belief.

I know that the heart-pounding anxiety can come again...what then? Lord, hear my prayer, Thank You. 

I trust our Father's lead Now, and I follow. 

Thank you.