I saw years ago that learning about death for the first time...my grandfather's death when I was two years old...set the course of my life. The unconscious long/short of that news: Death meant being left all alone; ergo, never let anyone in, guaranteeing never being left all alone.
A blinding flash has redirected my thinking. What if my living alone has ever been God's will for me? What if my being alone was my before-conception invitation to God into my life?
Knowing me, if I'd not lived alone, spiritual growth may have made it to my bucket list, but it never would have headed my To-Do-Today List.
If I hadn't been alone, free to choose for my better self, would I have spent years studying the Sermon? Seeking still more spiritual growth as my primary mover in life? "Doubtful" is being overly kind to me.
Looking back at my life through my new perspective re God's will, there is nothing about living alone that I have been unhappy with...for long. I've had all the "agony and the ecstasy" that life offers, and if I do say so myself, I've done a good job of it. But, who's kidding whom? The good job has been purely through the grace of God and a lotta, lotta help from friends, lovers, nonfriends and "glassbowls."
Still looking back, where it seems my deeper learning is blossoming today, I recognize that my nonfriends and, face it, glassbowls did more for my spiritual growth than most anything or anybody else. Both require us to get over our own self...which is pretty much all there is to still more spiritual growth, isn't it?
Is it the nonfriend who stands between God and us? No. It is our resistance to the nonfriend...and all else for that matter. Resistance is the block.
According to me, the secret to living happy, joyous and free is plain and simple: Resist not, love and laugh, get over one's self...God's will, God's way.
Thank you.
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