I am blessed beyond knowing. My material life has been feeling...let's be kind and call it "unsettled." Or, to speak my me language, "FUBAR."
What I learned way back then, and it seems to be holding, is: I must go to a meeting and, without explanation, justification, or apology, share my embarrassing...humiliating!...fear.
The very thought invites ego to do my thinking for me, as in, Don't do it...you just know everybody will snicker at me and think I deserve it and will tell everybody their suspicions are true, that I am a phony and a fool.
With thoughts akin to those, I did the dirty yesterday. I shared my "unsettled" me at a meeting, felt not a whit better, ate dinner, got out of me enough to cheer WNBA star Brittney Griner's homecoming....and here comes God calling in the form of a friend from the meeting.
She heard me, she lent me her lift, we laughed and scratched, and I went to bed knowing I done good. I did what I'd learned way back then, which, before the fact, feels no better now than it did then.
The fact to cling to: It is in the DOing...the showing our bum in public...that it becomes spiritual, the pearl beyond price.
God is so good to me...to us. He does not, he cannot, he has never deserted any one of us...even when, never if, we fall into that trap of egoic fear for self image. I'm convinced that the fault is our believing that falling into the egoic-fear trap is wrong.
That which we think is wrong with us we finally realize is and has ever been God's will for us...that which makes us whole as our own self. -- BFO from July 15, 2021
Thank you.
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